advice for puberty

I beg to differ, whats your husband saying about this? A belt wont work, you need an extension cord. That ought to straighten him out no problem. It's worked great for my aunts 3 kids. Also if you dont discipline them the right way, they'll just run all over you, so get em while he's still young.

This is a really tough age. been thru it 3 times and now going thru it with my 13 yr old. experience does not make it any easier to deal with. Their hormones are running wild and so are their emotions. They are actively trying to break free from parents while their behavior makes you want to hold on even tighter. Some kids are more mellow than others but some are just as you describe. I try to walk away from my daughter when she is being rude. notice i said 'try'. it is not easy and im not always successful. When I do, she is more often than not regretful of her behavior and comes to me to appologize. I do alot for my girl and work very hard. I don't deserve the disrespect. She knows that in her heart. To be fair to her, when I do argue back with her, I have lowered myself and am not being respectful to her either. not to say that I am above it for I am not...just saying...that from experience, it does not help anything. hang in there...its tough.

I have the same problem with my 16 year old daughter. It seems as though she is just determined to drive me crazy! She was always such a good kid and now it seems as though she just doesn't get it. She thinks that she knows all and nothing you do seems to be a punishment. My best advice to you is to stay strong and be consistent with punishments. These kids need to learn to respect their parents and to do what they are asked.

ok. listen. i am currently 17. i have a 14yr old brother. wot you have to do is lay down rules that are not to be broken. such as a curfue. not too late. when i was 13 my curfue was probably at about 9.30pm. another thing is that you should treat him with respect. congradulate him on things he does well. and thank him for doing things for you. wotever you do dont tell him that u love him. or dont show ne afection. he will try and break aaway frm this as he will be worried about his image. maybe raise his allowance but ony a little if he has one. whatever you do dont try to mix in with his m8s an dnt try the cool dad look. my dad tried it with me and i used to hate it. another thing is that u have to explain to him about respecting others. make him realise what he does to you and your wife when he argues with his siblings. explain that he has to respect other peoples decisions even if he doesnt like them. because this will always happen in life. an tell him also that if he does he will also be a lot more respected himself. i hope this helps. im nt exactly an expert but this is the case between my parents and my brother. it wont change immediately but gradually things will change and get better

i want u to be prayerful as well as understanding and and advicing him, that he should not allow his body to be controlling him, rather he should control his body,or it will make him to do things that he dosent want to do.prayer is the key.

This is the time to treat you son as a friend..if you start pushing, he will resist, leading to further estrangement. Ask him to bring his friends home, once a week. This will give you an idea about his friends. Treat all with friendliness and tell your son that he is growing up. And you are there to help him learn more. Can you try...start with a friends get together at your home with lot of things to eat, play and joke? Suggest this to your son and plan the event with him..this is the starting point.

It's a hard age, but it's temporary & what you're going through is normal. It's a delicate balance to find when to be firm & when to be flexible with a teenager. When they have legit reasons for wanting you to reconsidered a rule, it's sometimes in your best interest to hear them & make some changes. I'm thinking things like curfew, how long they can use the phone or computer, that sort of thing. But then stand firm in your rules that are for their protection; no smoking, no drinking etc. And let him know his behavior directly effects his freedoms & limits. If he acts right, he's allowed to do XY& Z but when he's disrespectful & rude, don't drive him places, no spare money, no friends at the house etc.

All i can say is, love him dearly. it doesnt matter if he screams or slams doors. hes upset about something. maybe nothing. just tell him you respect him as a young man. by giving them more freedom, they learn more responsibility. do everything in love. he will be allright and so will you. good luck.

just give him room for he is at a very confusing stage. just be a little patient and please always show him your love. believe me it will pass.

Being a teenager is a huge crisis in itself, and puts everybody around you to the test. There is nothing abnormal in this. I think what you need to do is to try and show him a little ynderstanding for what he is going through and put yourself and your own needs a little aside. As a single dad to a teenage daughter i do however know that this aint always easy. But without this understanding you will just find things going from bad to worse and eventually you might end up hitting him. Not as i believe this is what you want but we humans can only deal with so much before we respond in frustration and desperation. When a child develope into the teenage stage a lot of changes follows, psycologically and physically, the hormones start raging, the need for indepency starts growing, parents role becomes less important and friends will start to take over. This often lead to what we parents describe as rebellious behaviour, but in reality it is nothing but normal development for the teenage trauma. One thing you need to understand as a parent, is that your son is not the slightest aware of this changes himself. In his point of view it is you who is changing. He simply just react instinctlivly to the raging hormones. Therefore you will never solve this situation by punishment, as he is not aware why he is being punished or how he can change his behaviour against nature. Arguments, punishment and a strict set of rules is not gonna make things better, more the oposite. SO you need to learn to meet your son where he is, on his terms. He is not a little boy any longer tho he is only 13 years of age, and he need to meet understanding for what he is going through, not punishment. Your role and importance as a perent will be fading and his friends will take over and be the once he will listen to for advice and opinions on normal day livings. You say that you have tried to talk to him, but have you actually tried to talk WITH him? You need to find out what is happening inside him right now, engage with him when he talks about his friends, girls, future perspectives etc. To do this on your conditions is never going to work. Instead of nagging and yell at him all the time and punish him when it seems he is not listening, he need your support, guidance and accept that he is ok and you understand the difficulties he is going thru, and assure him that you will always be there for him. Meet him in this way on his terms, and you will soon find that he is still your son, that he still care for you and you will be able to set some conditions for him to make your day work too. ie if you want him to contribute to the daily chores. But dont expect too much of him, as where he is right now, family is secondary to him. There is a whole new world opening to him and he will want to explore and learn how to lern to live in it. Hope this is not too tough on you and you can somehow use it if for nothing else, then to help you understand and accept that there is nothing wrong with your boy. I wish you all the best of luck in future. You are more than welcome to contact me again if you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry at. Just add me as your friend and send me a private message. Greetings :)

Well, maybe he is just going through alot right now with peer pressure and everything. Maybe someone of his friends are doing it and he just trys it to get away with it. YOU HAVE TO LET HIM NO HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. If you have to beat him, then just do that. You have a really good reason too. Your his mother and hes a child is out of control and he needs to know his boundaries. But then again you should try to talk to him and understand whats going going on in his life. He might try to back away but just let him know that if he needs to talk that you are there. Dont be one of those nosey parents all in your kids business though. Let him breathe sometimes. If you feel you need to get in his business, don't go to far with him, just watch out for him, let him make his decisions and mistakes, but just play your part and stop him if it gets out of hand. Be more understanding of your child though. Stop him from disrespecting him, but you also should start respecting him too. Hope this helps :)