Is it wrong to be alone?

United States
July 27, 2007 5:18pm CST
I been in three bad relationships and I am tired. I just want to be alone and stay away from people. I do not want to have any communication with people. I am afriad I might get my feeling hurt again. I don't trust anyone. I feel good being alone but sometimes I get scared since there isn't a man around to proctect me. But is it wrong for me to feel like this. Is it wrong for me to shut the world out especially men. What would you do if you were me? Would you try again or just be alone for good. What do you think?
3 people like this
17 responses
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
27 Jul 07
I don't think there is anything wrong with being alone for a while. You need to heal from the bad relationships and not bring issues from that relationship into another. You need to feel confidence in yourself to protect you before you will be ready to get into another relationship. Take some time to heal but don't become a hermit. And don't let the acts of a few to reflect how you feel about the many other people in the world worth knowing. When the time is right try again. Take care! Vicki
3 people like this
• United States
27 Jul 07
Thanks. But I don't think I would every heal. it has been awhile now and I still am hurting. I can;t even look at a man with out getting mad. I think i hate men. But know i shouldn't say that. Sorry but that is how i feel.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I'm alone. I don't get sad about being alone. If a relationship comes along I let it take it's course and go naturally. If it ends...it ends and I don't go looking for another until it comes to me. I don't think it's bad to want to be alone. I think it's perfectly ok.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Aug 07
Thank you for your support. I am actually doing pretty well on my one and I am having a blast. Spending all my time with my family. Getting to know me again. Thanks again.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
12 Aug 07
that's good. Loving yourself should always come before finding someone else to love you.
@Atanness (31)
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
Hello there ma'am!!! im sad to hear that you dont want to have any communications with anyone. Well you know my friend, having a 100% lonely life would be impossible. Remember "no man is an island?" whether you like it or not you will and will have relations with the outside world through the various people that you meet. The People on church, the people on school, friends, families they all exist and you just cant tell whom the Lord has sent among them to comfort you. I myself was able to find myself stuck in the same situation as you did ma'am. (yes from a bad relationship too.) and mine was in a case of a third party. i would tell the girl that i love her, try everything i could to let her know that i love her and after a few months a was able to know that my girl and my friend have their own relationship, and both of them were laughing at my back. So thats when i started to almost close my doors to the world. But the Lord does not want us to stay in situations like this. He wants us to rise and be conquerors... You know what dude, you may not believe in God but He loves you =)
2 people like this
• United States
27 Jul 07
I do actually belive and GOD. And I believe he thinks I should be alone for right now. maybe not forever but I would like to keep it like that. It is really hard trying to forget all the hurt and pain that you went throught. How do I forget and move on? How can I get myself back on the right track?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
its funny that you ask my friend. but i heard a song on the radio and it went like "ill go to the disco everynight just to forget you," but im not suggesting that you do go to the disco, but instead find something that you can spend your time with. And i STRICTLY suggest that you avoid IDLE times, its because as i have experienced, these are the times that lonely thoughts comes into play. Maybe spending time with your friends, reading an interesting book, playing an instrument or almost anything you can think of. And when you feel better, stronger its now time to come back and think it logically why they treated you that way and what are the things that you have done that triggered them to do that to you. And here's the hardest part, saying your sorry or otherwise accepting their apology. That's when you faith comes in. Its time to prove that you have received forgiveness from above and you will forgive them too. But maybe now is not the time. But it will eventually come.
2 people like this
@diillu (5128)
27 Jul 07
It is totally not wrong to be alone. People always need time for themselves. And we should take our time, relax. But shutting yourself down completely from the world and other person doesn't make any sense. There are going to be moments when people will let you down. But you should be strong let go and again move forward. Because no one stops for you. Meaning of life is simply moving ahead. While moving ahead you will find someone who truly deserves you and will be with you forever but if you will shut yourself down from the rest of the men for the mistake of one men then you are never going to meet the right man for your life.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Aug 07
Yes, I need some alone time but alone forver is better. I will still go on with my life and enjoy it but I will do it alone. I think people can get people into trouble, And no one seems to want to us their heads now a days. There are to many stupid or crazy people. You don't know who to trust and when you do trust some one they let you down. So why even bother wasting my time one people. I know it is sad but it is the truth.
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
we are in the same situation girl. my past four relationships were all ended with depression. i dont know whats wrong on me. But hey! don't make it a reason not to fall inlove again. it's only a beginning!look more fabulous and attractive to guys. be more confident. do it not for them but do it for yourself. to have a peace and happly life. go girl!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 07
Thanks. Maybe I should look good for myself. I let myself go. I should start taking care of me more. But I don't think I want to have another realtionship. I am done. I made up my mind. It is to much hard ache. 3 times and I am out. I am wasting my years . I need to start to open up but not to people but for myslef. Get to know me and see what I like. Thanks again.
@jaimzana (14)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
It's good to be alone sometimes. It makes you realize about so many things about you, gives you time to ponder upon your dreams and ambitions and time to think of the experiences in life and what you have learned from them, helps you release your emotions... One day, you'll get over it. Time will heal the heartache. I've had my share of several heartaches too and failed relationships. And like you, I shut men from my life but later on, after a year or so, I opened up my world to them again. It's just a natural reaction I think, coz it's them that gave you pain. And after that, I found my true love. Well, it's always been true to me, that there's no glory without sacrifice. After all, you'll appreciate more the things that will come when you get through a lot just to have them.
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
1 Aug 07
I don't think it's wrong to be alone. It helps learn more about yourself and learn to be your own person without a man. At the moment I am doing the same thing. I prefer to be a lone at the moment and I am very proud to say I am single.
@tute_cute (318)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 07
hello baby.....nothing wrong with be alone, sometimes we must stay away from people to get silenceness. Alone is a word with some means. We can try to be alone with our problems but we must remember that our life to be better. If U feel good being alone, Do it sweety, coz with being alone we will feel better and we will know that some problems can't we finish alone. We need friends and get more friends than it. God Bless U
@tombiz (2039)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
Having a desire to be alone, away from people is sometimes a very valid emotion which all of us have actually. On my part, there are really times that I shut off all means of communications and just be alone, maybe reading any reading materials or I make a hike into the mountainous part of our mango orchard. A lot of people have this feeling from time to time. And it is sometimes natural with all the chaotic noises all happening around us, we need time to think for ourselves, to meditate, to have a clearer mind thinking, or just to relax for a while, to recharge oneself. Now, on your part, you have this feeling to be alone because you want to have no communication because you are afraid to be hurt especially men. Well, I think it is not really right to do this. We will always get hurt by others and from them we learned a lot of lessons. You must never stop dealing and relating to people. This is one way to gain true happiness in this world: good relationship with others. Never stop living because of some bad experiences you got. Instead make those bad experiences be your guide to have better relationship especially with men.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
It's not wrong to be alone. In fact, it is better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship with the wrong person. But I think it would be wrong for you to not trust all men. Not all men are bad. Give yourself a rest though. Three bad relationships is not a small thing. In time you will heal. Just be open to all possibilities.
• China
28 Jul 07
I don't it is a wrong decision,since being alone provide a person enough room to think .In fact ,it may be an opportunity for you to think about the reason why you had the bad relationship. Here is a sentence I want to share with you : Still water goes deeper.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
28 Jul 07
It is not wrong to want to be alone. In fact it can be quite healthy. From reading your story tho, I am concerned that you may be taking it to an extreme that is not healthy. I don't think that it is bad to want to be single but to shut out the world,you are missing out on some wonderful people and friendships. Not everyone is as bad as the few experiences you have had. You just have to be careful of who you let into your world. If someone proves to be hurtful or negative, you have to be able to let them go and move on. You don't sound happy and so it is not good. I know it is hurtful and frustrating when a relationship ends badly. It is important to take time for yourself to heal and understand and learn from the experience. There are no guarantees in love or friendship. We risk being hurt when we open ourselves up for those things. If we close ourselves to them we will never know the joys of having them in our lives. For all the hurts I've endured and gotten beyond...no regrets.
@senthil2k (1501)
• India
28 Jul 07
Sorry that you had met three bad relatioships so far and I pray that atleast you get a good relationship as the next one. BTW, there is nothing wrong if you want to stay alone. I should say, its better to stay alone, instead of mingling and getting troubled by someone else. But at the same time, you should also know that you might miss the fun of being together with someone .
• China
28 Jul 07
Hey, Sweetladylove, though I don't know why you feel like this and how you have got into such a bad condition, I can say that it maybe good for you to be alone for a while. Your feelings might be hurt by others, which caused your distrust of other persons espcially of men. You should believe there is nothing wrong in yourself. Sometimes, People get hurt easily. So you can choose to stay alone for a few days, but remember, don't stay alone for too long time. Because we are all living around the social circle, the surroundings affect us greatly. People cannot live without communicating with others, because that will easily make a person pessimistic. Again, best wishes for you! I sincerely hope you'll get better very soon.
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
Hi Sweetladylove2! Being in 3 bad relationships? Oh... *hUgz* I understand how frustrating it is. It's not wrong if you choose to be alone. Most of the time, we need some soul-searching to do until that time that we will find what is more meaningful. If am you, I'll do what I just suggested. You need some breather. For now, focus on things where you can develop more of yourself. Get involve in activities where you will be able to meet new and amazing people. Never close your doors to anybody. Have that hope in your heart that soon, the right man will arrive in your life. Pray for it. Ask the Lord for the right man. (",) I wish you all the best! God bless! =)
@batpig (99)
• China
28 Jul 07
nothing is wrong as long as this is your own choice. but i'd like to advise you that dont to be so extreme...you can shut your world towards certain type of person,but dont shut it for all. as a human being in the society, you must have contact with the world, so to cut off the communication is not good for you. alone sometimes is a good shelter, that is also what i am doing...and i am also afraid of being cheated and getting hurt,but i still need to face the world most of the time. be brave, try again...just dont put your whole heart in at the beginning, it is not guilty to protect yourself and the sense of security we want is born of nature. hold on and create your better life. dont escape but go forward!!!
• China
28 Jul 07
i think everybody also has this experience in reality.sometimes i also don't want to talk to people.if the people is your ture friend,i think he will understand you and help you.maybe some of your friends can't understand you ,but you should believe they will know some day.and you are not feel lonly all the way.you down mood just is some time.