Would u choose to live your life single?
By gmakesmoney
@gmakesmoney (2923)
United States
August 5, 2007 8:47pm CST
If you had a choice (which duh you do, lol) would you choose to live your life single or with a partner? Would you choose to then become a parent on your own? Or would you get married just to follow the norm?
After recent events in my own personnal life I've decided to bump up what always used to be to me, my plan B. So I've decided that I want to live my life single, as in no husband, no serious boyfriend ("friends" optional, lol) and make what I've always wanted out of my life, by myself for myself. I'm no longer waiting for prince charming to ride in on his high horse and save me from my liberating freedom because he assumes I need to depend on his constraining castle. Instead of constantly putting my own plans on the back burner because the other person in my life has his own set of goals to achieve... to then have it all have been for nothing in the end, I'm going to do what I've always known I was capable of doing and become a self-made, pretty well off woman. Day to day regular relationships (in terms of romantic) have always made me feel like I was drowning or stuck in a tiny box with no breathing holes. Knowing that it's ok to not have to be in a relationship, leaves so much energy to be focused on other areas. As far as having children in the future go, I'll do what I've always dreamed of and adopt a toddler internationally. I feel more confident in the future than I ever have.
So what would you do?
4 people like this
11 responses
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
6 Aug 07
I don't mind living my life single or getting married. It really depends on the man that I am with or will meet. I have no preference in both lives and I think I would enjoy both in different ways. I have been single for awhile and I love the freedom and things I plan for myself and the fact that my emotions won't go up and down because of a man. I haven't been married but I think if I am with the right man, then I won't mind to make compromises in life and build a life together with the man I love, that's sweet in some sense. I think no matter which situation we are in, we should enjoy it to the fullest instead of whining all the time. *smiles*
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I agree, whatever our situation we should enjoy it to the fullest. I've not been married either, engaged but never married, lol. I am just now coming to love that freedom of being single and not having any worries.
1 person likes this
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
6 Aug 07
That's good for you because people usually whine when they're single but I don't think it's pathetic or anything, it's great to have a good amount of freedom and do whatever we enjoy doing.
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Thanks, yeah I know what you mean. I have a lot of friends who would just die if they don't constantly have a boyfriend. Meanwhile I'm thinking, great, now that I don't have to focus my energy on what someone else is thinking, I can get back to what really matters to me.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
I have been with my husband for so long now that I can't imagine what life would be like single and can honestly say that I would be terrified . I haven't been alone since I was back in high school and although my husband and I have only been married for seven years we have been together for almost eighteen years . We were both still in high school when we got together and have been together ever since , we now have five children and the thought of having to raise all of them on my own would be terrifying not to mention not having someone there to understand how I was feeling and to help me work out any issues I may have had on that particular day . I wouldn't want to be alone but that is more because I have never really been alone and wouldn't know what to do but can see where some people would prefer to stay single or wait longer because you want to know you are going to be happy as that is the ultimate goal is to be happy with what you have and who you are .
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I know how you feel 100% but in the totally opposite direction, lol. I was raised an only child by a single parent so all I've ever really known is living alone. If I had to live with someone I'd be so terrified because I really wouldn't know what to do or how to act. I'd have no idea how the day-to-day is supposed to go and I'd feel like I'd lost my space. I think the choice to stay single or get married has a lot to do on how you grow up and what you're used to in life. Either way, like you said, it's all about finding that happiness and balance.
@sherinek (3320)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Oh no, not me, not in a million years. I am a partner-dependent-love-needed-attention-needed person(LOL) I dont think i can live myself alone this life. Anyway, i am married and have two kids. My advise to you (which you have the freedom to take or leave) is, freedom and single-life is well and good untile you are young and healthy and working all the time. But there would be a time, you grow old and when you cannot work all the time. When you will be not in good health and when you take more than one minute to get up from where you are seated. There will be a time, when you wake up in the morning, you will not feel all that good. There also will be evenings and nights, you will be all alone in your house, so quiet, you can hear the sound of a pin-drop. (Even though you have kids, they may have left you with their partners). You know in human life, there are stages when you have to act accordingly even you like it or not. There is a time to be born, time to grow up, time to study, time to work, time to ket married, time to have kids and finally time to die. One fine day, you will realize, suddenly, the day is not fine anymore. So, live your life to your liking, but do not try to change the nature which will bring you problems, "one fine day".
Good luck in your journey.
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Thanks and good luck to you as well.
I already have those days where I don't feel well at all given my health issues and to be honest at those times I do crave someone to be there but the vain part of me always tells that side "ewwww... you look like crap sick" and of course I don't want anyone to see me looking like that, lol. Even when I have someone in my life, I'll completely refuse to be around them when I don't feel good or when I'm in a bad mood or feeling down. I was raised as an only child so I'm used to the quiet, I honestly don't even notice it anymore. I think marriage is great for some people but I need my space and the ability to live my life my way and one day when I adopt a child I want to ability to raise it in the matter I see fit without having to consult with someone else or deal with the parenting input of another person.
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
6 Aug 07
I am used to live with a partner, so I don't know how it feels like to live alone. However you idea of doing things for yourself only is very true. You can never get what you've always dreamed of if you are married. Marriage needs sacrifices and one of the sacrifices to be made is our own dreams. Living alone lets you do whatever you want without the objection or interference from anybody in this world. I wish I could be like you, living on my own. But I am so used to living with a partner, and personally I am afraid to lose my loving husband. So in the end, I suppose I will stick to live with a partner.
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I think that marriage works for some people and the single life works for others, it's just a matter of finding what works best for every person. I couldn't imagine living with a partner, I easily tire of seeing the same person all the time. But it is great for some people I supose.
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Wow, lets see how to respond. By nature I don't like to be alone so I wouldhave to say if I found the right person who completed me and was good to me I would be with them but if I never found that person I think I would be able to make it on my own... I also would never get married to be on the norm that is wrong and probably / definitely not work out at all so i would stay the way I like at that point.. I'm not a lemming so I tend to be very opionated and do what i feel is right for my life.. I have five children and I'm currently in a relationship that I have been in for 6yrs and I'm happy not being married.. Because I have been there done that got the t-shirt and mental scars to go with. I'm not saying that I'm totally agianst marriage after my first but I am gunshy and would not go there at this point would not do that..Maybe later in life and maybe when and if I find the perfect person... I just don't want to be in a situation where I feel trapped and that I'm not getting out anytime soon and that I have to live in misery for forever. So like I said if I found the right person I would be in a relationship possible marriage but if not I wouldn't and no way would I do anything to be considered normal, I'm an individual and I like who I am.. It has taken a long time to realize that it's fine to be me.
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
7 Aug 07
I know what you mean about feeling trapped, I was in a really long relationship with someone who was 100% overbearing and controling, where I felt like I was drowning. I would hate to have been married to him, I can only imagine how ugly it would've gotten. I'm with you, if I find that ultimate perfect for me person then I'd consider it but it would be something I'd have to really think about for a while and we'd have to be on the same page in terms of where our lives were going.
@spyjax (46)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Good for you.
I've been a devotee of this lifestyle for a few years now.
No one to hassle me, no one for me to hassle; my expenses are predicatable and under my control; I can do as I wish, and go where I may; and I can live disheveled, sleep in, and drink from the milk carton.
Just as nature permits.
How grand!
Since you now qualify as a "quirky alone," you might appreciate this site: www.quirkyalone.net
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
6 Aug 07
I had no idea we got a name... and there's a whole world? Wow! Thanks for sharing the link!
I feel exactly like you do, it's one day you realize that you don't have to live stressed and in a constant state of having a relationship be your end all/be all just for the sake of not being alone. It's nice to not have to primp 100% of the time, or be able to sleep as I may without having to worry about hogging blankets that are mine anyway, lol.
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
6 Aug 07
Hi. If I had a choice to live life single... I wouldnt choose it at all... I have 2 beautiful children and a wonderful partner who's a loving father to our children also, given that, these days are very hard to find... Im quiet happy with my life, so I wouldnt want to change anything to live a single life...
1 person likes this
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
6 Aug 07
i think a single life,without partner would be hard for me as i have a girl that needs her father and i don't know if i can use to live alone.it would be fine to do everything what i want but i guess after some time you feel the need of love of somebody waiting you at home,maybe the need of stability emotionaly talking.maybe i would like to be single for a period to put order into my soul.i am not very happy with the life i had i would like to have a break just for me.but not for all my life.anyway there are pluses and minuses for every type of life,single or not-single.
@archy22 (132)
• India
6 Aug 07
I prefer to marry and stay happily with my family and i did the same thing now. Being alone wont help you to run away from problems.Family problems and resposibilities are to be taken with courage.
Well, this again may depend upon your perspective.
1 person likes this
@robinhood88 (22)
• Egypt
6 Aug 07
I think i coldnt have the ability to live my life single and with out the company at least frome one of my friends
