my best friend has a bad situation

I'm sorry your friend is going through this. I know a lot of single mothers who do great with their kids alone without the help of a man. Not everyone needs a man in their life to support them and to help take care of kids. The only thing you can do for your friend is to be there when she needs you. Offer support and advice when its asked of you. Being there for her is the best thing you can do. I wish your friend the best of luck and I hope things turn out well for her.

The best advise that you can give her is to be strong, love her child more than the father. If the father does not want anything to do with her child then he is not worth crying over. Tell her to be strong, being a single parent is not going to be easy compared to having a SUPPORTIVE husband. I emphasized on supportive because a man or a husband can be there but he may choose to disengage himself to his responsibility as a partner or father. My sister is a single parent, lucky for her that we her family was there all throughout her journey otherwise she would have a hard time. The best that you can do for her is to be supportive, be strong for her, be prepared to be there when the time has come.

Your friend has to settle this with her boyfriend-if he had been very clear about not wishing for kids, then she is on a weak wicket. She knowingly has done this-because it is not believable that suddenly it has happened by accident after so many years. You have your family and all your words of comfort have their limited effect. The battle is going to be hers. Agreed that you don't know about raising a kid all alone with no support-but your friend[I am sorry to hurt your feelings] knows better. You feel sorry for your sister. How does she feel? All of us are not made the same way and you have to understand this. Most of the time we tend to superimpose our feelings, our reactions, our responses and impulses on another person and believe certain things. The case is not always true. Your friend may be worried and confused a bit right now, but heart of hearts she has already come to a decision. Don't worry. You have such a good heart and caring nature-things will all work out.

I can see a few contradictions in term here... You don't want get involved... but you will... because you don't want to see her ending up like your sister. Quite frankly... it is her choice and her life. There are no rules which say that you have to get married and have children. I don't believe in coincidences... and nor should you. The boyfriend leaves... and she find out she is pregnant... after 12 years? Try... she tell boyfriend she is pregnant. Boyfriend pack suitcase and disappear. Solution: 1) Have an abortion 2) Have the child and sue boyfriend to make him pay alimony for the next 18 years. She is old enough to bring up a child on her own. Millions of women do it everyday. She might have got pregnant on purpose to force the boyfriend to marry her... and it did not work. This is common practice amongst women. Even so she did the wrong thing... it is still pretty low for the boyfriend to leave like that after 12 years. It shows that he is selfish and she is better without him. But if he made his intentions clear to her that he did not want children and she broke that rule... she is no better than he is. After all... she was quite happy to stay with him for 12 years under that rule. Why break it now and blame him?

He sounds like a pathetic guy for not wanting to settle down after all those years. And now he disappears for four weeks. Your best friend needs to prepare for the likelihood that she will be on her own in raising the child, at least until she finds another man who will be willing to accept her and her child.

i think that your best friend should really try to talk things out with her boyfriend. after all, if he really is sincere, then he will do the right thing. if he really loves your friend, then he will help and take care of the child. he has a responsibility for your friend and her child. your friend should try getting a hold of him to sit him down and talk seriously. if he is continually avoiding your friend, then it may mean that he was not truthful about the relationship. you should continue to be a good friend to her. listen to her problems and help her in every way that you can. :)

Hi chabella1! Really sad for your friend, however she is blessed to have a friend like you, who will be there for her no matter what happens. She does not have anything to be scared of raising her child alone because in truth, she is not really alone..she has you and maybe there are more people who cares about her who would be willing to give her emotional support. My cousin was only 20 when she got pregnant and have raised her child without a father. At first she was scared but she did it well and she is happy more than ever. :)God bless!