I don't know if I should keep my cat... I like him but...
By juliemarie84
@juliemarie84 (642)
United States
August 11, 2007 10:48pm CST
I got my cat almost 2 years ago (will be 2 in December) He is a pretty good cat at my apartment. He follows me every where and cuddles (on his own terms).
The biggest problem I have with him is he is overly aggressive. He can be completely cuddly one minute and then turn around and bite me very hard, and I didn't do anything!I travel to see either my parents or my boyfriend just about every weekend and since I sometimes will be gone for about 4 days, I bring him with. Then there's trouble.
He is impossible to get in his cat cage. Then when I get to my destination he hides. Which is fine. But once I go to bed he harasses me for the rest of the night because he was too timid to run around and play where I am at, so he waits til people are in bed and I shut the door and am alone in the room with him at night. He will shake the door wanting out and basically keep me up until sometimes even 5am. I try to play with him throughout the day but it isn't enough.
Tonight I let him run around the span of my parent's house, which is a very large place to run around. My mom was laying on the couch watching TV, and he came up to her, acting as if he was going to cuddle, and then lunged for her and scratched her.
I really don't want to do. I considered that travel is stressing him out, but then again, he does the same thing to me at home.
I would do anything to help with his aggression. He is very attached to me, so I'd feel bad giving him away too.
I plan on moving in 6 months closer to my family and boyfriend so maybe the permanent move will help him settle if I have a bigger place with more toys, ect. Or maybe he needs another cat to wrestle with.
I really don't know and I am almost getting desperate at needing help. I don't want to give him away, but then I wonder if I am being selfish for keeping a cat that does not like the life style I have to give him. Maybe it's a phase because he's young, I don't know.
I noticed the mylot community has tons of cat lovers. Any help??
1 person likes this
8 responses
@raychill (6525)
• United States
12 Aug 07
Your cat sounds like mine. I don't take my cat places because I know that he does not like going for trips or being in weird places. If I know I will be gone a few days I'll ask someone to come by and visit him, make sure his water is full and he has food and give him a little love... so I'd take everyone else's advice and stop taking him with you, it's obviously not good for either of you.
As far as the aggressiveness is concerned, My cat is also the same way. My parents boy cat is also the same way. It could possibly be a quality in some boy cats. Personally, I would NOT take the advice given about a "small" tap. The thing with cats are that if you hurt them, that's what they'll remember. That's why you can train them to stay off furniture and stop doing certain things with shocks or sprays of water or whatever. They'll associate that with pain and stay away. So sure, you think they might associate hurting you with pain, but what'll end up happening is they will associate YOU with pain...and of all places to "tap" them you should NOT do it on their nose. Tap the butt or the side or anywhere else if you're going to take that advice.
I personally don't hit or spray water on my cat or anything. When he is aggressive towards me I yell "NO!" and point my finger at him. He's learned that is a bad thing and stays away. We usually take a bit of time away from each other and soon enough he'll be rubbing up against me again in no time!
If you want to get another one that's up to you. I fear my cat will be jealous of another cat and my landlord doesn't even like me having one, so I just keep my one little boy. He's 5 and he doesn't do the aggressive thing nearly as much as he used to. It's mainly when you bug him when he wants "his" time.
I hope you keep the little guy and teach him whats up without being mean and grow together and stay with each other!
1 person likes this
@juliemarie84 (642)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Yes, I would like to keep him too. That's the main reason I am looking for advice. I have been working with him since he was a kitten. I have some bad scars on me through the process, but the scratching and bite marks have become fewer and fewer.
I do not flick his face, but sometimes I do tap him in the butt. I use to spray water at him until I realized he actually liked it. Since I am normally a very quiet person and I have a very quiet place, he especially hates it if I yell at him. It seems to be working out OK.
I really have felt like it could be partially his age. He's not even 2 yet, but god is he a handful, lol.
@raychill (6525)
• United States
13 Aug 07
That's good. Your cat definitely sounds exactly like mine. Like I said, he's almost 5 now (in October, he'll be five) and I got him when he was about 10 weeks old so he's pretty good now, he just has his moments. I've learned when he's going to get like that too to get away before he can scratch me. I have the battle scars also :)
I hope you do keep him though and I definitely think he will get better with age...just keep working with him and learn from him. Eventually you'll know exactly when he's going to flip from cuddly cat to vicious cat before he even realizes he's going to do it!
1 person likes this
@Buggheart (445)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I am of the mind that when you adopt an animal it is for life so my first reaction would not be to get rid of the cat. Like some of the others have said, it sounds like he needs a playmate and to not travel. Cats generally do not like to travel and need time to get used to their surroundings so moving them around frequently can really stress them out and create behavior problems. And cats are noctural as well so it's natural for him to want to play and do things when you want to sleep. He's just doing what cats do and to expect him to do otherwise is counterintuitive to who he is.
When I first married my DH he got me a cat. I wanted two but he would only agree to one so I told him we'd see. Within a few days that cat was attacking us and being a pest. Finally 4 months later I brought a new cat home and life has been wonderful ever since. They play with each other, they sleep together, they are best friends and very happy.
1 person likes this
@juliemarie84 (642)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Yeah my mom has hinted that maybe I should get a new cat but I too am a firm believer that you shouldn't just get rid of an animal when things get a little tough. It wouldn't be fair to him, he probably just hasn't quite learned yet. I also figured that some day when I get a new place from this tiny apartment and am settled he can have a playmate and more place to run.
@Stiletto (4579)
•
13 Aug 07
I definitely think the travelling will be stressing him out. I've found from my own experience that cats generally don't travel well. They're very territorial animals and I'm sure that's disturbing him. If you can find some way to avoid doing it I would recommend you do so. He would be ok on his own for a couple of days but I think leaving him for 4 days is pushing it a bit. Have you anyone that could keep popping in and checking up on him/playing with him for a little while?
Another cat is possibly a good idea although I would wait until you're more settled. If you do get another one make sure it's another male - two males will usually get along better than a male and female or two females for that matter.
1 person likes this
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
12 Aug 07
My cat used to do the same thing to me on occassion. It would usually happen if I had been working long hours for a couple weeks and out of the apartment a lot. He only ever did it to me, and never when we would go to my parents house or if someone was visiting, so I figured it was a lack of stimulation. What I did was keep the spray bottle nearby and if he attacked me, I would grab him by the scruff of the neck to get him off me and then squirt him in the face with the water and let him go. Sometimes he woudl sit there for az minute like he might jump on me again so I would shake the water at him. Usually he would then roll on his back to show that I had "won" and we would go back to being friends again.
I also found that giving him a little fresh catnip once or twice a week seemed to help. He will go crazy with it and wrestle with whatever toy I put it on and sort of work out all his agression that way.
My cat is 10 now and has pretty much completely grown out of doing this now (or maybe he just picks on the dog when I'm not looking) so I think it is something that will dissapate as he gets older, but you can certainly discourage it.
I would also say to not bring him with you if you think it stresses him out more than if you left him at home on his own. The have all sorts of timed feeders you can get that will go from 2-14 feedings. That might also save him from some ill-will from your family as well.
Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@juliemarie84 (642)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Yeah sometimes my kitty bites me and I yell at him and he looks at me like he's gonna lunge at me again, and he puts his ears back like he's super mad. Like, "how DARE you tell me what to do." LOL. Then he backs off.
I am thinking I will try my best to keep him home. I just couldn't leave him last time I went to visit my parents cause I was going to be away from my apartment for 2 weeks. I had to bring him. :(
1 person likes this
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
12 Aug 07
Male cats are usually more aggressive than female cats, especially if they have not been neutered. Is your little monster fixed? If not, he should be. Also, moving around like that is VERY stressful on kitties. Dogs are more resilient when it come to things like this. Cats have a VERY hard time with it. Once you move into a permanent home closer to your family and boyfriend, your kitty should calm down some.
1 person likes this
@juliemarie84 (642)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Yeah he got neutered over a year ago. He was worse at one time. After I neutered him he calmed down some.
@Daelin (683)
• Brazil
12 Aug 07
I had a cat that used to be this way, only his aggressiveness was directed to other cats. It was hard dealing with him because we thought the other cats were bullying him.
So we tried to protect him until we found out that he was the bully. Anyway, the other cats just ran and he would never attach a human, so I think it is not the same problem.
I hope you can find a way with your cat. It is so sad to leave a pet behind.
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@juliemarie84 (642)
• United States
13 Aug 07
Yes, I am doing everything I can to avoid having to get rid of him. I think it will always kind of bug me, wondering what happened to him if I give him away. I do love the little guy.
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I can understand how you feel. I got my female cat Char from our local pound. She is loving when she wants to be. She can be very affecionate. She to bites me on occasion when I'm petting her. I wonder if it is a game of sorts. Or perhaps besides the cat licking us. Is a way of showing affection. As far as the traveling. I think he may be confused. Perhaps he doesn't feel safe.
But basically every animal has their own personality, just like we do. We are all different, and our pets are to. We really should give unconditional love to our pets, as we do with our loved ones. Within reason of course. After all they do depend on us. I think it is just a matter of understanding our pets.
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@gesell03 (173)
• Philippines
12 Aug 07
the cat really need a playmate, but i guess if you can no longer handle the cat, atleast you could find a home where the cat would be loved, my cat does that sometimes and he gets too agressive, but thats because i dont give enough time for him, but i always find joy and releif to know that the cat is still with me,you would always think of that cat if you would give him away.
but if you could find an owner who loves the cat, then go ahead, if you could find a better place you should do it, since you can no longer deal with the cat.
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