Does your spouse support your weight loss efforts?

United States
August 17, 2007 12:01am CST
I could really use some tips on how to deal with a spouse that refuses to be supportive of my weight loss efforts. I'm not sure if every woman has their issue with their spouse, maybe it's just mine. He doesn't say mean things about my weight or ridicule me in any way. But, he's not supportive of my diet, by any means, because he keeps bringing cake and sweets into the house. I think he does it because he likes to eat that way. I don't think he's pushing that type of food onto me. But, his eating habits are just making my weight problem worse. Sometimes I secretly blame him when I don't lose weight. It's tough living around someone who likes to eat candy bars every day. Some people can get away with it, with no ill side effects. I am not one of those people. Does your spouse support your weight loss efforts? Do they try to help you lose weight whenever possible? Or, does it seem like they are just making the problem even worse?
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
17 Aug 07
When the doctor told me my blood pressure was sky high and my cholestrol was thru the roof, I had no choice but to change the way I was eating. Hubby was very understanding and though I told him he didn't HAVE to change his eating habits but that he should because he was dangerously overweight too and was having problems with his blood pressure. He didn't want to change so I just had to be very strong and just not eat the sweets and treats he was bringing into the house. I knew my health was at stake and I wasn't quite ready to kick the bucket at age 46. Last November, 1 week after his 53rd birthday, he had a cardiac event and ended up having an emergency angioplasty and a stent put in one nearly blocked artery. To say the least he jumped on my healthy eating plan really fast! So far I've lost 60 lbs, he's lost 25 lbs and we are both still losing slowly but surely. I've got another 30 to go and he wants to get down another 40 so we are both doing very well. Hon, if you really want to get healthy then you can't be bothered or tempted by what he brings into the house. Just don't eat it. It doesn't really take much will power when you think of what the alternative is. Fortunately, I am now off my blood pressure meds and my cholestrol total has gone down 62 points. It has definitely been worth it to me.
• United States
18 Aug 07
Thank you Craftcatcher for the encouragement. Coming from someone who has been there and faced similar events, I value your advice. During my pregnancy I gained so much weight and was seriously at the edge of getting gestational diabetes. That one single event changed my body's ability to deal with stress and excess food. Before I could pretty much eat what I wanted and it would just fall off later with minimal effort. But not anymore. I have to stop acting like I have a child's metabolism, because I don't anymore. I will try to be stronger.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
17 Aug 07
My husband would probably say I'm not supportive of his weight loss efforts! He's trying to lose about 10 more pounds right now, so he will get full points when he takes his fitness test at work next month. I try to be supportive and cook healthy foods and pack healthy snacks, but sometimes it's just really hard to get it all done. Healthy food takes longer to cook and sometimes I don't have time to do it. He would probably consider that to be me hindering his efforts. I really do try to be supportive, though. I would like to lose a little bit of weight, too. So we don't buy chips or cookies or things like that very often anymore. That way no one is tempted to eat that stuff. It's just that we each need very different things in our diet, so it makes it hard sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Aug 07
I know what you're going through! Guys don't realize what a full day us moms have after they leave the house. Some just think we sit around watching TV and that's it! No way! Healthy cooking is a big deal and takes way more time than just boiling macaroni and adding the Hamburger Helper (not healthy!) I'm sure you are doing the best you can. You've made a really good point about weight loss. Often spouses will need a different type of food depending on their metabolism and even respond to different types of exercise than we do. For instance, when my spouse is actually trying to lose weight (which is not now!), he does really well at weight loss, by simply walking. Not so for me though. About seven or eight years ago, he took a temporary part time job that required him to walk a lot and dropped 30 plus pounds in less than three months. And, then for three years after that, he was able to keep the weight off, no matter what he ate. He had revved up his metabolism and it was having a positive after effect. But, more recently, when he injured his foot and had to sit down more on the job, he gained the weight back. Now, if I can just get him on board with the weight loss train, we can both lose weight. We bought an exercise bike awhile back, but it's sitting idle in the spare room. I think I should be the one to start the exercise program and set a good example for him.
• United States
17 Aug 07
Very much so, he complains when I don't go to the gym. He has two reason for the complaints and both are very valid reasons. He'll eat whatever I cook him, just as long as he eats. If I could afford to buy a slew of food all the time - then we'd most definitely both be eating a lot betteer. As for your honey, maybe sitting down and discussing with him that it makes it hard for you to stay focused with such tempting sweets in the house.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
19 Aug 07
Your husband sounds like mine. He kept telling me to lose weight, bugging me, even got me some diet pills to start me on the way, and yet when we went shopping last week, he bought two large packages of those generic cheap cookies (the kind where there is hardly any icing sugar in between and there is not much flavor on the chocolate cookies) Salad stuffs are too expensive and yet breads and meats are very cheap.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
I have a friend who has the same problem - she is trying to eat more healthy food and lose some weight, and her husband just keeps buying junk food. It's difficult, I should think. I remember when my mom decided to go on a diet when we were teenagers, and she just stopped buying any junk food. We still baked treats and ate those, and I guess that might have been difficult for her, although she wasn't the one who baked them, but the rest of the time, anytime we wanted junk food, we'd have to get it from someplace else. Have you talked to your husband about this? He might think you have more willpower than you actually do. Maybe if he only brought enough home for himself - like one doughnut from a doughnut shop, instead of a whole cake - then you wouldn't eat it, and he'd still be able to bring home the occasional sweet. Sometimes when I am trying to eat less junk food, and my husband wants junk food, he just gets something I don't like. Then we make sure there is a healthy food that I like in the house - like dried fruit - and we're set.
@jlcp25 (45)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Honestly, my husband likes to seem like he is supportive until it comes down to it. He said just the other day that he will not change the way he eats because I want to eat "fruits and vegetables". All I ask of him is not to have foods right away that will tempt me or kick up my cravings. One example of this is when I told him I was going to try to go raw for a couple of weeks and while we were out shopping for my food, he decides to buy a rack of ribs to make "tomorrow" or how we have to order take out or go out to eat. He tells me, well just order a salad...well, it isn't that easy when there is all of that other good stuff on the menu. I think that if he wasn't around, I would have a much, much easier time with my efforts.
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
Hi beautyqueen! i cant comment about lossing wieght, actually Im not over weight of that fat I dont have a problem with my weight beside my husband keep on tellin me to gain a little more weight to look me not that thin, but for me i just a normal size of women not fat and not thin thats why im satisfied with my weight. For your husband, well maybe he loves you for who you are that's why he dont bothered if you gain or loss weight. Well if sweets and all your favorite foods are always present in your table try not to be tempted control what you feel so that you will succeed on what you want to have. Good luck and have a healthy diet.
• United States
17 Aug 07
I have a supportive husband, but does yours realize what he is doing to you? It is hard to resist sweets. Don't get mad at him unless he is doing it on purpose. You can have a tiny piece of the cake and go on with you diet. Don't starve yourself or try to keep yourself from eating foods that you love. You will just end up gaining the weight back when you are done. Eat in moderation. It does work, and don't get mad at yourself when you do have a slice of cake or a doughnut. Just keep on going with your diet and don't give up. GOOD LUCK!
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Yes, he was very supportive and look at me with a naughty smile every time I forget that I am on a diet and get an extra cup of rice. I just backed off and laugh at the same time when I realized why he is looking at me with a naughty smile. I am so happy that he doesnt mind if I gain wait... and support me if I want to loose some.
17 Aug 07
oh yes!!.my husband does support me so much.He appreciates every small effort of mine be it in cutting down fatty n dairy foods or doing household n other workouts. Supporting in the sense he actually takes part himself in weight loss, like would not eat cakes n chocolates either front of me or without me..
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
17 Aug 07
he encouraged me loosing weight but he didn't any effort on supporting me.he didn't need at all loosing weight so he ate very often cakes and all the stuff without thinking on my efforts to resist not eating them.anyway i had such a big wish in loosing weight that i was trating food as a need not as a pleasure,i began hating food and eating such a small quantity of food a day.now i finished the diet for a long time about an year,i got about 3 kilos eating normaly and sometimes eating pretty much cakes and sweets but now he doesn't want me to get loss weight he said i am too thin but i don't think it's true i still need a few kilos loosing.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
17 Aug 07
Mine likely wouldn't. He says if you don't think you should have it don't eat it. I've eaten far worse since marrying him. More soda than my entire lifetime. And when I was pregnant or anytime I'm not feeling well emotionally or otherwise - he brings food - my favourites. he's like the food devil
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
17 Aug 07
My husbands supports me in my weight loss program and is trying to lose weight himself. Even though we do have different methods, he is always encouraging and does not eat chocolates and cakes and things in front of me. This is usually done when i have gone to bed. If i don't lose weight, I don't blame him but myself because i am the one that should be more consistent and pushing myself to do better. It's hard to keep motivated though and he does encourage me to keep on going.