is it OK to become friends with your best friend's lover?

for me, it's yes.I have this bestfriend and ive make friends with his boyfriend too even after they broke up, Me and his boyfriend are still friends. And now that they have a life of their own through me they become friends again and when we reminesce the past we just laugh to that. I think it will only become a problem if you exceed beyond the limits....

As long as things are kept strictly platonic, there is no problem. My fiance and I are both friends with eachother's best friends. The four of us are all very close, and we wuld trust eachother with the other's partner, if we were to go out as friends.

I think it is expected that you become friends with your best friend's lover. After all, that IS your best friend's lover! You might even play an important role in mediating between them when they have misunderstandings. Even after they break up, there's nothing wrong if you stay friends with the lover. Now, if you get romantically involved with the lover after they break up, that's a totally different thing. Personally I don't think close friends should do that to each other.

Hi. This can be a tricky sitution, for all involved... I dont see any problem to be friends with your best friends bf/gf, its knowing the boundaries and not crossing those boundaries, because thats when things become complicated, to spend time with them, in my mind, would be crossing those boundaries causing curiosity in your best friend...

Yes for me its ok to be become friends with your best friend's lover. I don't see any reason why not unless you and your best friend's lover are doing/hiding something that is wrong and cheating on your friend. I am friends with most of my bestfriend's lover and have kept in touch with some of them, I never had or cause any problems. :-)

First of all i want to thank you for this another perfect discussion.:) I guess it may be a problem between the person and its friend if the other couple have broke up in a bad way. I remember one of my friend got mad at me that i said hi to her exboyfriend. So i guess it is pointless to extend the discussion if they broke up means he/she should break up with ex's friends as well. It is bitter truth. You all have a great day.

I think it depends on the people. Personally I am happy for my partner and my best friend to be friends with each other, although I might be less ok if my best friend was a girl! And I suppose it would also depend on just how much time the friend and the lover spent together, it shouldn't take over from their time together. There might be things the couple don't do together for whatever reason so you can do them as friends instead. In my case, my partner doesn't like going to clubs and things so I will go to those places with his friends. However, I wouldn't want to do things with his friends that he would do with me.

I have very firm ideas on this sort of thing, when you have a best friend it is good that you share a special bond, it is good to have someone to to talk to, to confide in, to have someone to be there for you when things aren't going too well with your loved one, but if your best friend becomes friends with your loved one you sort of break that special bond as you now have split loyalties, I think it is better not to become friends with your best friends loved one, that is their cloud nine and sometimes the old saying of twos company threes a crowd applies to the actual friendship....

i guess it would matter if your friend still has feelings for this person...what if they viewed you as a threat and this broke your friendship...which is more important??

This is a difficult question! I have been in this situation and I have always discussed my friendships with my best friend. I try to stay neutral in any case, but most often, I have managed to stay friends with both, even after a break up. It is possible, but you have to remain very neutral to both parties and communication/honesty makes a big difference. But always making your best friend feel important is necessary.

That's a hard one. I guess it would depend on the friend and how they feel about it.

Well to maintain a "clean" friendship with your best friend's gf or bf is very tough coz there will be lots of suspicions that will occur and people around you will feel that u r stealing away that guy or girl. Its just the mentality of people that can't easily be changed though. So I personally prefer to not become friend's with not only, my best friend's bf but with actually all my friends' bfs. This avoids misunderstandings between them and me. Good post! (",)