Ok I need to vent

United States
August 21, 2007 8:58pm CST
Ok so this may sound really insensitive but frankly I don't care right now. I for the life of me can't figure out why many military wives seem to define themselves by their husbands job. I get so damn tired of seeing all these damn woman sitting around talking about how "hard" their life is just because they married a military guy. OMG get real. Then there are the ones that sit and act all uppity because their husband is some Sgt. or Lt. Big woop you didn't do anything he did, don't expect me to treat you like you're some top shyt when all you did was screw a guy and get him to marry you. I'm at the point if I hear one more military wife say well my husband is this or my husband does that I swear I'm gonna slap the crap outta her. Its nice your husband has a job, what the hell do you do though? Outside of mooch off of his hard work and name? This doesn't apply to all military wives, just the majority of them. If this offends you then you're probably one of the ones who do it.
3 people like this
11 responses
• United States
22 Aug 07
I've been off active duty for 30 years now and this was a problem even back then. In fact, we would even have a class or special instruction about it once in awhile. When told about it nicely most people would catch on and change their ways except for one group of people who just never seemed to get the point and I'll bet they still don't. Who? General's wives were by far the worse and you could not change them, not even the General.
4 people like this
• United States
22 Aug 07
I guess some things really don't change. I find it kind of sad that these women need to define themselves by their husbands job. I heard a quote that to me fits this perfectly. It said " If you are what you do, what are you when you don't" Meaning if you define yourself by your job or your social title what are you when those go away. I guess people don't really think about that though.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Sep 07
No where is this discussion about women who don't work. I think you might want to re-read it.
1 person likes this
@silkyt34 (324)
• United States
22 Aug 07
lmaooooooo omg i had to give you a plus rating for this discussion... my daughter is engaged to a military man and she goes on and on about his rank and how people look at him when they are in public and how those who dont rank as high as him are older then him i just laugh at her... i told her i could care less what his rank...and they could probably care less too.. doesnt make him or you anyone special...thank god she will have her own career as soon as she is done with school in a year i would hate to know she has become one of them but the writing is already on the wall...lol
• United States
22 Aug 07
LOL I hope she doesn't become one of those women, it would be really sad if she did. I know that there would be at least a few like me to bring her back down to earth though. I swear they should hold a class every few months for the new wives/gfs and inform them on how not to piss folks off and how to behave properly.
2 people like this
@silkyt34 (324)
• United States
22 Aug 07
lol i am very happy that you and many more like you are out there because i know sometimes she needs a good dose of reality just like many of the military wives do but i am just mom giving her a hard time
1 person likes this
@Moehmen1 (21)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I am an ex-military wife. Most of our friends are still active and some do act like this. I can say that a military wife actions and words can hurt or help her husband's career. The ones that are higher up than them will report if a wrong comment or action was made by a wife and it can hurt their advancement. The military does not just run the active duty members life it runs the family's life so it is easy to get caught up in it. There are times were you feel you are in the military as a spouse and it is not easy when you are the one left behind to deal with everything. When my husband was active duty I had maybe five or six conversations with him in a six month period. Email wasn't available back then. So there were times in the military community were you lived through is rank (which was very low). Not only that but on the bases your are completely judged by what rank is on your brown card. However, I do understand your frustration. I have one very good friend who lives and breathes by her husband's military job. She cries she is a single mom. Her husband is gone a lot but not to Iraq or out to sea, he just works really long hours. Plus, single moms are responsible for the major income in the home unlike her who has his DFAS deposit every 1st and 15th of the month to live off of. Military life for the whole family can be a rough road but the family if they were already married or the women if she married him after knew what they were getting into. Also, we realized after eight years that we wanted my husband to be home more now that we had kids so he got out. It is still a choice to serve. Sorry to rant but one more thing. As a college educated military wife I was frowned upon by other enlisted wifes. I also had a very hard time finding work for when an employeer saw you had a military address they were not always will to hire someone that may move at anytime. Which can happen, we had a two week notice once.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Aug 07
I understand the fustrations of deployment and such, I was a military wife as well as an active duty military member, so I got it both comming and going sort to speak. This is why I guess it drives me nuts when I see wives who act like that. I'm sorry but I'm not really sympathetic to military wives. I've notice a lot of time its one thing or another with them to complain and cry about. Either their husband is gone and they cry about that and expect the world to stop and coddle them. Or someone is ignoring them because we really couldn't give a flying crap about the fact that their husband is Lt. such and such. They somehow think they should be famous just cause they are shagging a military man.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 07
Last night one of my military wife friends really annoyed me. She tried to make me feel quilty because my husband is home and hers is away at some training. She does it alot and I just want to say to her, You guys decided the best for your family was to stay active so stop complaining and deal with it. She is one in which instantly became a Khaki wife once her husband made chief last year. However, you'd appreciate our other friend. When her husband made Khaki we found from someone else not them. When I called to congradulate him, she answered. I told her to tell her husband congrats. She said this is such a pain in the neck. They think because I am a military wife that I have no life. I have a house, a newborn, a toddler, school, and yes a life. They expect to the wives to be at fundraisers, picinics, formal dinners. It is just annoying. Its his career not mine. Thought you'd appreciate that some wives feel the same as you.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Sep 07
LOL that is kinda funny that she feels that way. When I finally got out my ex was still in and so I got hired on working at the shipyard as a DOD contractor. What was really funny is I ended up working on his boat most of the time so we would always see eachother at work. Well we ended up going to his command picnic and one of the wives made the comment about how much work it is and how hard she has it. I just started laughing and was like really you should have my job, I work with your husband and mine. She shut up after that.
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
6 Sep 07
I am a military wife and it DOES suck! I hate deployments and so does he. He is gone all the time, missing our daughter growing up. But hey, I signed up for this life when I married him. I have have never "thrown my husband's rank around." He is a SSgt, big deal. Regardless, I am very proud of him. I don't feel like I am "mooching off his hard work or name." I am a SAHM, I raise our infant daughter, just like other stay at home moms with husbands in other professions. I haven't ever personally run into what you are talking about, but he is in the medical field and sometimes comes home laughing about the wives who think they can walk all over people because of who their husbands are. "Do you know who my husband is?!" His response is usually, "Nope, and I don't care."
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7881)
22 Aug 07
LOL, I love reading your posts, so honest and straight to the point! "Big woop you didn't do anything he did" BINGO!!! Exactly, so where do they come off acting as if they poop gold? My brother has had girl friends trying to act like this! Talking about trying to ride on someone's coat tale.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 07
Actually the wives are the ones who have a really tough job. I can understand your point in some way, but we are the ones who have to console our sons and daughters when they don't understand where daddy is. It is a major sacrifice for all when your husband is in the military. My husband is one of the "LT." that you speak of and I would never in a million years try to take credit for all his hard work. Instead I am proud of him and all his hard work. I would never sit here and say oh poor me, my husband is in the military. Because this is what he wanted and I chose to be with him. Although I didn't ask to fall in love with a man in the military, in fact we met in college so I fell hard before I knew he was even interested in this career. Now as far as losing yourself in this whole military life is easy. Especially when you have children because it is hard to try to get your career going when you move so much and aren't close to family and friends to trust your children with. Sometimes it is easier to just not work or continue your career path until he gets out or is close to getting out. You must not be in the military or involved with anyone in the military. My suggestion is to go to the nearest base to you and volunteer for the children whose mothers and fathers are away trying to protect us americans and see how it is!
• United States
6 Sep 07
Actually for your information I am a military vet. I served 8 years in the military and I was also a military spouse so I know plenty well what the military life is like and I have ever right to be anoyed at how most military wives behave. See unlike the majority of them I was also on active duty while married to an active duty person so I know more than anyone how hard it is to be a spouse to a military person. I know what its like to wait for someone to come home or to be the one gone hoping to make it home. So no I don't need to go vist a base, I've been there done that and got the wounds to prove it.
1 person likes this
@ladybug565 (2217)
• United States
4 Sep 07
Lmao! I dont personally know anyone like this but you are so right! granted it is a full time job to raise kids and be a good "housewife" and it is nice to be proud of your hubby but to think you are better than everyone else because of your husbands status is rediculous!
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
navy - marrying a US Navy man -- to brag or not to brag?
A former co-worker of mine used to brag that she was engaged to a "US Navy man". They did get married but now they are divorced. I wonder what she's bragging about now?
1 person likes this
@tink91879 (746)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Being a military wife myself I understand what your saying. I have come across so many military wives who think their something special because of their husbands job. My husband goes out and defends our country. I stay home and raise our children. My husband recently made cheif and the only credit I take for it is I talked him into staying in the military and just being a support for him. I heard of one wife whos husband was the captain and she expceted to be saluted. She had the nerve to tell the ppl, " Do you know who I am?" I also cant stand most the wives in the FRG. So rude and snobby. Were suppose to be there for eachother, we all go through similiar things in this choice of a partner. Dont act like your better than me. Everyone starts at the bottom and works their way up. One thing I told my husband when he made cheif, " remember you were once a blue shirt too."
@kamarlow (65)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I have 2 friends who are Military wives and CANNOT stand the fact that their friends and people they lean on for support actually do not act this way. I was very confused by what they were trying to tell me. But pretty much they would rather get run over and die than be seen as the military wife with her head shoved up her husband's read body part. They are both very independent and self earning people and I am not sure exactly why other's cannot do it. Being a housewife and stay at home mother is one thing but taking pride for what your husband does and making it sound like your life is so exhausting from that is another. It's a shame how some people can behave...no matter what age they are or what century we are in. It is beyond ridiculous and it's time for change. Where do we start Devilsangel?
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 07
...wow. in other words, pray their husband goes to Iraq, die in a roadside bomb, then spit on their wives while pissing on their high ranking military husband's grave.