Is the Man of the House excused for not helping with the household chores?

Philippines
September 3, 2007 6:22am CST
I'm not saying this in general, because I know some husbands and fathers who do their own share of household chores. But for some of those who do not, is there really an excuse not to help? And what is that?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
3 Sep 07
I think that most men would be happy to help with some household chores. But as to very busy men who are doing a very busy business, maybe they don't have that much time for that because they have to spend lots of time on their business to make more profits and to better support his family.
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
Hi william. I guess that's the main excuse most men who doesn't help or maybe they do but they don't have the time and energy anymore. But what about those group of man of the house who has the time and the energy but still refuse to help because they truly believe doing household chores is a woman's job. As one Mylotter said in this discussion, maybe those kind of men were not taught early on to help with the chores. They were kind of brought up with the thinking that they don't need to lift a finger because it's not their job.
1 person likes this
• China
4 Sep 07
To this kind of men, you will need some patience to show them how to do some basic household chores bit by bit like the good studying habit we have formed at school. All men are still able to be taught if you have the decision and desire to.
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• Philippines
4 Sep 07
If there's a role reversal,maybe these men will finally realize that keeping and maintaining a clean house is no fun matter. Wives don't demand that the men do what they are doing. They just need some help. As Toni Braxton have sung, "I'm not a Superwoman!"LOL
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@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
I believe that as a family, the man of the house should also do his share in household chores. There is no excuse so to speak, not unless they can afford to hire some maids and/or housekeepers!;) Like what me and my father do, we are mostly the one's who are in-charge of the cooking. My mother is not that good in cooking, so we both took the chore from her.
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
Hi raijin. I agree with you. There're really no excuse if a man truly wants to help. If only some of those men who refuse to help realize that being a wife and a mom is not a thing to be taken for granted. There's a big, big responsibility already lying on our shoulders. And to maintain a clean house is no easy task too. So, that's why any help a man can give is already a big thing for the wife. You're right about the housekeepers!No housekeepers only means a sometimes cranky housewife. I'm glad that you and your father make sure that you help your mom. That's already a great thing to do. Cooking takes time and energy. You've already taken off a lot of load on her shoulders.
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@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
Thanks, aside from those, we also do our own share to make chores easy. The usual/normal men's job are what we mostly do, like fixing some minor busted appliances and those what women cannot mostly do.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Sep 07
When it comes to fixing things, it should be the man's job to do it. But nowadays, in the age of women being equal to men, there are wives who tries to learns how to fix some things and never having to rely on their husbands. Sometimes, if I can do it myself, I don't ask my husband anymore. I just do it.Way much faster.
@leonarda (92)
• Bulgaria
3 Sep 07
The only excuse I can think of is if he is in poor health or works 15 hours a day. But I know men, who despite that they work long hours, still manage to lend a hand with the household chores. Everybody can find 4-5 hours a week to help with the work at home - if there is a will, there is a way. :)
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• Philippines
3 Sep 07
Ooohhh!!!I like that. "If there's a will, there's a way". I should make several large posters of that and place them in every visible spots for my husband to see. LOL. You are completely right. My brother who works midnight shift as a call center agent, still helps his wife with the household chores. May it be just a little help, but still, the important thing is that he's helping her.
• Bulgaria
3 Sep 07
I have also noticed that many men tend to avoid helping in the household because their mothers used to do everything and they are simply used to a parasite status. A male friend of mine, who has 2 brothers, has been taught since a very young age to help his mother because she just couldn't manage with a full-time work and 4 men to look after. His two brothers also do some household work and they don't make a fuss about it. But a relative of mine can't even boil an egg because his mother was doing all the household work and he never had the need to learn even simple things.
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• Philippines
4 Sep 07
I completely agree with you. I guess it really begins in early training. I find myself comparing my husband to my brother sometimes. Because with him, if he does help me, it's like rain in the desert. I even get so surprised when he does the dishes! You're right about that. Maybe those men who rarely helps were not trained at all while they were still young. Because If I remember correctly, my husband wasn't taught to help in their house. Either his mom or his sister who does the chores.
• United States
5 Sep 07
My husband and I both work so we both do household chores. I think it's only fair that way since both of us work. I think if the husband is sick or something like that he should be excused for not helping.
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• Philippines
6 Sep 07
You're right. We can't push our husband to help with the chores when he looks ready to faint for feeling so awful.hehehe.We might even get into trouble for doing that.
@vinzen (1022)
• India
4 Sep 07
Man helping out - men helping thier wives in chores
There are no excuses, and men make the excuses or the women make the excuses for them i think, yes there are exceptions though why these excuses are made. If the man has been working too hard at work and returns after 16-18 hours of work, or if hes been out of station, and has just returned after a few hours of work. Or maybe the man was on night duty or working in shifts and has just come back home tired, the reasons can be any and many, but a lot would depend on the family situation too. If the woman feels the mans tired and let him rest, then that rest would carry on for long and make the man feel tired, drained and maybe they wold never help, but incase the man feel that after a little rest, i can get up and help the woman, that would be his good nature i feel, so a lot depend on how they have been doing all this themselves. Generally all men do help at home, even though they are tired and drained out, but they take a little rest and help around, they know whats their share of work,and do their bit willingly. But those who do not and make excuses, they ought to be told to help around too, as,if both partners are working then its natural for the man to share the duties even at home. At times, some men see that their fathers have never worked at home and their mothers never let the sons work, so they also dont work in their own houses, that thought has to be broken, with the changing times now a days. If an excuse has to be made not to work, then no matter what the reasons, good or bad, the man will always make the excuse for not working or get occupied in something that actaully does not need his attention, just to escape from working, they need to be talked to and told to change themselves by the women.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
You're right about that Vinzen. You have summed it all up. Some men does help even when they have their own jobs. Some don't because they just have no idea that they should be helping, thinking it's a woman's job only.
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
im not agree with that. in my opinion, i think everyone should work inside the house and share different tasks for them to be responsible enough. and also, itcan be the source for them to be more close to each other.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
Hi eya. The man of the house should still help regardless that he's already working. And lending a hand with the chores will certainly make the wife more appreciative of her husband.
@lynboobsy11 (11347)
• Philippines
3 Sep 07
It depends on what time they can dedicate their time in their house coz many men are used to manage to work outside 8 hours or sometimes if they have an overtime they spend 10 hours on their work but still maybe at weekends they have time in their houses and they can helped even small things in household chores.
• Philippines
4 Sep 07
That's what I'm thinking. There are men who still have time to help and they don't use the old age excuse of they are already working so they shouldn't be expected to help. As one Mylotter had said in her response, "If there's a will, there's a way." We don't expect them to clean the whole house, but to help in just one single chore in a regular basis means a lot already.