Do you keep members request pending for 'friendship'?
By dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
Delhi, India
September 10, 2007 12:03am CST
Dear friends, I would like to know what do you do when you receive a request from a members for adding them as your 'friends'. Do you see his/her profile and take a quick decision to 'accept' him/her or 'reject' his/her request as per your liking?
Do you like to keep someone's request pending for a long period, without deciding, whether to accept or to reject his/her request?
I have observed that sometimes if I send a request to someone for addign me as her/his 'friend', my request is kept pending by that member, till I myself 'delete' it.
My humble request to such members is, if they are not interested in 'adding' me as their 'friend', they are well within their right to 'reject' my request and they should do it immediately. It is entirely their discretion whether they found me fit to be their friend or not. I cannot have any say in this regard. But keeping my request for adding me as their friend 'pending' for an indifinte period does not help either of us.
I think for deciding this issue 1-2 days are enough.
I on my part, normally do not reject anyone's request for adding him/her in my list of friends. I take the decision, as soon as I see the request and I go to that member's profile and immediately press the 'accept' button. I am of the opionion that we should give a chance to everyone who wants to be our friend and we can take a final decision regarding his continuation with us, based on our future and regular interaction with him/her through discussions etc..
I would like to know your opinion please. Thanks in advance. Have a nice day to you!
11 people like this
28 responses
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
10 Sep 07
Oh I am horrible with that, just terrible and I am sure I am the one that sparked this discussion, LOL. I never pay attention to the top of my screen. I mostly work from my email so new posts and PMs come to me through there, so I have a habit of not noticing new requests for a very long time. I am sad to say I have come by going to comment on friend’s posts and see a request that has been there for a month. Awful I so know. I just can't get the hang of checking.
Now I have a couple of requests that are left to set there till the end of time. These are the ones I have denied several times (no kidding) and will not take no for an answer. So I leave them set. While that ends the constant rejecting, I reckon it also messes me up in realizing there is a new request there.
So, sorry about that.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
No, dear, do not be afraid, it is not YOU, who sparked this discussion.
I very well remember, you 'accepted' my request at the first instance and thereafter you supported me in my discussions.
You are a nice person, I have no complaint against you (and there would never be, I believe), rest assured.
You say you reject the request, if you are not going to accept it. That is fine, no problem, atleast the person who requested you would come to kow his/her fate about his/status. But keeping it pending, does not help either, I believe.
I appreciate your views and can understand when a member has not logged in for a long period, it would not be possible for him/her to accpet the request.
I normally post my response to someone's discussion or vice versa, then only I send her/her a request for adding me his/her friend.
Keeping something 'pending' is not understood, specially by those members, who I find are active and do not take the decision.
I wish this discussion should be seen by those members, who kept my request 'pending', instead of 'rejecting' it.
Thanks for responding! Have a nice day!:):)
You have been a source of inspiration and motivation for me here on mylot.
Deepak
1 person likes this
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
Hi sunshine. Thanks for giving that reason. At least I have another reason to think why some requests that I've sent were left pending for more than a week. Maybe you're like them too. There was a time, too that I almost missed seeing the request in my profile. I was so focused on checking other discussions that I didn't think of looking in that portion of my profile.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I don't often see that I do have a friend request as I am not on much but when I do, I quickly check their page or if not see how many discussions they have answered and or posted and go from there. I use to accept everyone but because I have so many friends and many are not active, i've decided just to keep to those i already have and maybe add one or two.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Sep 07
Thanks for your views and reply and contrats on crossing '5000' mark.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
10 Sep 07
No I don't keep members waiting too long. If I see someone has sent a request I try to add them ASAP, usually right after I log into mylot, if there is someone that has requested my friendship. I don't always look at the person's profile when accepting them and as far as denying a member's friendship, I only did that a few times when I first joined up because I didn't know what I was doing then, and I didn't know what was expected of this friendship in mylot. :P
I currently have 4 pages of pending requests where some date back to as far as 4 months ago. I probably should delete most of these, but I'd hate to miss someone accepting my friendship just because I deleted my requested shortly before they finally decide to add me as their friend. After all, what if they had been away from mylot or just didn't see my request? I guess I'll just continue to wait...
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I appreciate your views.
But my opinion is please do not keep any request 'pending' with you. Take a decision, if you do not feel like adding them, just 'reject' the request otherwise 'add' them. I think 'adding' them in your list will not harm you in any manner.
Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Sep 07
OMG! I misunderstood what you wanted to convey. So you are also waiting like me for your requests to be accepted. Thanks for clarification.
Have a nice day!
2 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
10 Sep 07
I think you misunderstood me. If someone requests my friendship on here I add them almost immediately.
Now as for me sending out requests to others on here I have 4 pages on my pending friends request page. I'm just waiting for these people to accept or deny my friendship, even if it takes them longer than it should.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
10 Sep 07
Perhaps that friend no longer access his homepage? Perhaps he is waiting for your response to his discussions first before he approved the friendship? There are many reasons if you have read though such similar discussions in mylot.
I normally approved friend's request even though there are many times I wonder in what capacity they request my friendship, especially when they do not respond to my discussions and neither do I respond to their discussion. However, out of kindness, I still approve their request instead of deleting them. A friend gained is better than an enemy created. Personally, I do not request for friend unless I am very sure I can and will respond to the friend's discussion.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and can understand when a member has not logged in for a long period, it would not be possible for him/her to accpet the request.
I normally post my response to someone's discussion or vice versa, then only I send her/her a request for adding me his/her friend.
You have said that some of the members send you a request, whom you do not find participating in your discussions or vice versa, no proble, you can very well 'reject' their requests, but keeping something 'pending' is not understood.
Specially by those members, who I find are active and keep the request 'pending'? I wish this discussion should be seen by those members, who kept my request 'pending', instead of 'rejecting' it.
Thanks for responding! Have a nice day! :) :)
You have always been a source of inspiration and motivation for me here on mylot.
Deepak
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 07
Thanks for your suggestion. I will see if I can use it.:):)
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
10 Sep 07
For to-be friends who keep your request pending, I believe you have been actively responding to the to-be friend's discussions. If this is so, perhaps you might want to "drop" some trigger in your next response to the to-be friend. For some friends, friendship have to be "earned" and you need to win their hearts. lol.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
First when I see friends request, I feel flattered about it coz for so many members logging here everyday the person choose me as her friend. I visit there profile and read about them then I will add them as soon I saw there profile. I don't see any reasons we kept it as a pending. Maybe in some cases the person who used to add the friends are not loging for many days thats why it keep it too long.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
Lyn!
Hi! How are you?
I appreciate your views and can understand when a member has not logged in for a long period, it would not be possible for him/her to accpet the request. Not logging in and consequently not accepting the request appears logical reason.
But what about those, who I find are active and keep the request 'pending' for adding me as their 'friend'?
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@indiavani (863)
• India
13 Sep 07
Hello! I have not rejected any of the friend requests I received till date. When I receive friend request from somebody, I visit their homepage, respond to at least one of their discussions if I find them interesting and then accept the friend request. If I don't find their discussions to be of my interest, then also I accept their friend request hoping that next time when I would visit their homepage I may find some interesting discussion.
I send friend requests to almost all mylotters who respond to my discussions and I respond to their's.
Vani^_^
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Sep 07
I appreciate your views.
You appear to me a positive and nice person.
Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
11 Sep 07
I do not keep the members request pending for more than 24 hours (only in exceptional case the time taken is more, when I am not at mylot). I accept most of them asmembers and retain them for couple of months, watch them. If they expect me to only respond to their discussion topic and if they do not reciprocate, they are just kept aside. I do not consider them as friends. It is not one way traffic.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and gesture. You appear to me a positive and nice person and you take quick decisions. Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@sylvia13 (1850)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
10 Sep 07
My decision whether to accept or reject somebody is not really based on numbers and, as a matter of fact, I barely look at them! I accept people I like based on what they have written or the communications we might have had. When I get a request I normally accept it, even though I am not always looking at the "friends" section to check things. Sometimes I accept somebody but the request was made a while back and I did not see it! How embarrassing!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
Thanks for your positive and valuable inputs.
1 person likes this
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
11 Sep 07
Hello Deepak how are you.
No I never keep any requests pending. As soon as I see any friends request I immediately accept it. I don't even feel any need to check thier profiles, a friend is a friend, why should you choose him or her by thier profile. Besides we all are so far from each other so a simple bond of friendship will bring only happiness and no harm. So I welcome everybody. I have till today not rejected any friends request.Have a nice day.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 07
HI! Dear!
I appreciate your views and gesture.
I know that you are a positive and nice person and you take quick decisions. I agree that why should we be selective, if someone is asking us to add him as our friend, we should take a positive view.
Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
10 Sep 07
Normally, I just check their profile and see if we have similar interests. However I've been away for quite a while and find that I have a good number piled up to go through. Now I'm waiting until I have some decent time set aside to go through them.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 07
I appreciate your views.
You appear to me a positive person.
Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@roshnichaudhary (1160)
• United States
10 Sep 07
No, I love making friends and if someone is offering then I can't keep it pending but sometimes I don't have time to log in the site so it remains pending.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 07
I appreciate your views.
You appear to me a positive and nice person.
Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@anonymili (3138)
•
12 Sep 07
Ah this is one that might cause controversy. When I receive a friends request here I only accept them if I have already responded to one or more of their discussions or they have done the same for me. I have seen far too many discussions of people saying the "best way to earn money on this site is to go around adding random people as friends". I make a point of checking my friends discussions first before going to other discussions here and if I add every person who makes a friends request I'll end up having to trawl through multiple pages of discussions of no interest to me before I find a friend who has posted something that I can actually answer. I don't spend that much time here that I can reply to every single discussion started by my friends (nor would I want to as they're not all of interest to me) and it wouldn't be fair on those friends who start well thought out discussions once in a while for theirs to be pushed to the bottom of the list because I've added new friends who are starting 3 or 4 or more new discussions every day :)
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and thoughts.
Have a nice day!:):)
Thanks for responding!
2 people like this
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
Me, i accept any invitation i received. I don't know the reason behind the pending the request for me to believe the more the merrier, or they are just busy.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and gesture.
Thanks for responding! :):)
1 person likes this
@lovablechap (166)
• India
10 Sep 07
Yeah!This has happened with me even and I had to delete that on my own.For me I just accept most of the requests made with just a look at their profile and making sure they are fit to consider and also I check to see if the profile is a fake.That happens when a fake profile pretending girl adds you.All these happens everyday at orkut and other social networking sites.
And as far I am concerned I make decisions instantly and reject if I am not interested and I want all of them to do that simple thing.
If you are interested then I am in or else I am off and looking for the next guy.That my case.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
Thanks for your positive views and thoughts. You appear to me a nice person and since you take quick decision, you will always be successful in your life.
:):)
1 person likes this
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
5 Nov 07
Well to be true their are members whose requests are pending with me to approve as friends but as theya re nto active members i dont give my approval. There are several requests which have zero discussion responses and have not been active for a long time. I think they just joined and placed requests for friendship and are no more there. I would surely deny approval to such than keeping them pending. When i receive a request for friendship i look in to the profile of the person and the kind of discussions being put up and them decide whether i am going to approve or not. I normally end up answering all questions which interest me.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
6 Nov 07
Thanks for sharing. I agree with you that there is no fun adding those, who are inactive or become active during the course of time. Yes, like you too I also go through the member's profile and discussions, before accepting his/her request.
I normally do not reject anyone, but after few months, say 5-6 months, if I find that the member in my friend's list is inactive, I 'delete' that name.
Have a great day!
@kaplya (1578)
• India
10 Sep 07
right now i have one pending friend request but seems that girl hasn't logged into mylot since 2 months!;) as for me, i never reject anybody nor do i keep their request pending. when i receive a request normally i accept it and only after that i look at his/her profile. though i agree with you even if somebody keeps requests in pending he shouldn't do it for more than 2/3 days because it doesn't help anybody and only irritates the other end! i think perhaps some people don't have courage to reject even when they don't want to accept someone's friend request. even in that case it's better to reject because ignoring(=pending) hurts more than a direct rejection!:)
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I am really impressed with your thoughts and find that you more or less agree with me. It is really painful and irritating, when any of my request is kept 'pending', I would like it to be 'rejected', instead of keeping it pending for no reasons.
Have a nice day!
2 people like this
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
5 Nov 07
When I receive a friend request, I always add them without any hesitations. It is my honor that they want me to be their new friends. As long as I login Mylot and see the new request, I will accept it right away.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
5 Nov 07
Thanks for accepting my request and thanks very much for your reply. You appear to me very broad minded and liberal. Nice to meet you.
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
10 Sep 07
I will usually accept all requests to be added as my friend. Well, at least on record, I have not rejected any such requests ever since I joined this site. Since I log into myLot almost everyday, I usually clear such requests with one or two days. I don't like to leave requests outstanding for many days. Before accepting though, I will usually take a peek into the requestor's profile to find out more about the person, where he/she comes from, how long he/she has been in myLot, and things like that. It's more for me to get a better feel of the people who would like to befriend me.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and gesture. You appear to me a positive and nice person.
Thanks for responding!
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
Thanks for your positive response and views. :) :)
1 person likes this
@rahul_2689 (634)
• Hyderabad, India
10 Sep 07
i totally agree with in this respect. atleast on my part i accept a frnd request as soon as i find it on my profile page. somtimes it may happen that a user may not login for a few days when i think we should wait. but if an active is ignoring our frnd request, i think its better to delete it in a couple of days. i dont like to keep ppl waiting for any reason as i know how irritating it can be. also as u said we can always delete that person frm our list later on if we wish to. i just cant understand why some ppl just ignore frnd rquests. either accept or reject imediately is wat everyone should follow.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 07
I appreciate your views and can understand when you have not logged in for a long period, it would not be possible for you to accpet the request.
Thanks for agreeing with my views.
1 person likes this
