It's time for you to move out.

Australia
September 10, 2007 9:33pm CST
Few days ago there was this story on tv how parents let their kids stay at home till they are in their 20's or 30's and how this is creating spiled adults, and how parents have to kick their kids out. Well I lived with my parents till I was 25 I was married and had a child and we all lived there. We helped with the bills and shoping and all other expences and my parents refused to let us move out before we could aford a deposit for our own house. If we were to move our sooner we would be still renting as there is no way we could have saved enough money. My husband is the only one that works as I have to look after our son (he has mild disability). I am greatful for that I would never forget what my parents did for us and how much they helped. As I look around me most people have their kids still with them after they turn 18 so whats the big deal? How many people were "kicked" out, how many moved out on their own? would anyone have done it differently if they had a choice? Would you do it to your kids? And what age is the right age to do it?
8 responses
@linoxy (285)
• Cyprus
11 Sep 07
As you know i'm from your home country. I lived with my mother till recently. And I am 28. I had jobs since i was 19. But my mom never would kick me out just cause i have had a job, or for any other reason. It was my and only my decision to move out of home.
• Australia
12 Sep 07
well I know how things are back home and in a way I like it that way. If someone moves out and its not married there is always this stigma or what should I call it.... whats wrong with home, they must have problems and that sort of thing. With you (corect me if I am wrong) it is also that you didnt want to live your mother on her own? To be honest in a way I love the system there everyone together helping each other looking after one another and all that. You are never alone and always have help.
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Well, In my county we dont really care much about moving out if the parents would love them to stay with... But most of us after married, we move out cuz just to have their own privacy. My brother married already and he still stay with my parents, but he pays for everything and cook and take care of my mom. My dad is still working... we love to have a big family, we never thing or want to kick anyone out of the house either. However, I move out since I was 16... sound so young huh, but i have to move away to study. Now, im on my own and I just feel a little different to stay with my parents. I still want to visit them most of the time tho. I believe that is not thing wrong by stay with parents. you help them tho, and it is for your kid to be around with grand parents... Just want to share my thought
• Australia
11 Sep 07
Yes we have the same in my country (macedonia) but lately people simply cant aford to move out. Here in Australia I get across lots of people that say well he/she has a job kick them out (even for 16 year olds) working at mcdonalds for $5 is not a job you can make edns meat. But I know how you feel about going to your parents I feel the same it will always be my home but I just dont feel it that way any more.
• Australia
11 Sep 07
OK I HAD JUST NOTICED WHERE I HAVE SPILED IT SHOULD READ SPOILED sorry
@briarose (124)
• United States
12 Sep 07
Well I don't think just because you remain at home you are not responsible or independent. I never got an allowance, got my first job at 13. After I graduated from college I moved back home. I got two jobs and was taking courses to get into graduate school. I paid rent, they did not ask me to I just did and had no problem living at home paying my share. When my dad passed away I met the man, we got married he moved into the house and we increased our own rent. My mom loved him and was able to depend on him to fix things around the house. When my mom got sick I was here and able to care for her, I cut back on my job and I drove her back and forth to chemo. We had an incredible relationship and if I hadn't continued to live in the house she would have never been able to continue living here due to finances and just the maintenance and not too mention I think she would have been very lonely - she had nine children and always had a full house. Many of my brothers and sisters thought that I mooched off my parents but that was never true it was a mutual relationship of give and take and it worked. Now that she has passed away I cherish the fact that we did stay with her. I have so many more special everyday memories of all the times we spent together and I was happy that I was able to care for her in the end instead of putting her in the care of strangers. I think it depends on the family and circumstances and if there is mutual respect it will work, what is the big deal. If people have a problem with it that is a shame they are so wrapped up in others lives! I guess you hit a nerve with me because while my mother was in her last months only a couple of my brothers helped me care for my mom and I was eight months pregnant with a 1 year old but they all wanted to have a say in what was going on and never once asked my mom her wishes and needs. And after having so much to say about me still living with my mom over the years only one of them ever acknowledged that if I hadn't still been here they would have had to change their lives around dramatically to help out. I had changed my life drastically to be there for her but I don't regret it for one second because she would have done the same for me.
• Australia
13 Sep 07
This is a very lovely story thanks for sharing that with us. Its great that you have all the memories of both your parents things that I am sure your brothers and sisters dont have as much as you. No matter what they say you will always have the memories. Most of the people that do those stories on tv (the hids still living at home after the age of 18) want the kids to move out for the sake of moving out. Not because they cant afford to have them around or the kids are bad kids or something. I know people want the freedom but once kids move out they are not as conected with their parents as before they moved out. To me that is a big loss.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I think if you raise your children correctly and teach them independence, responsiblity, and how to manage money, they will be out of the house and you won't have to worry about kicking them out. My parents taught me about hard work (growing up on a farm), they taught me how to EARN money (not receive an allowance for making my bed every now and again), and they taught me that when money runs out, there isn't anymore until you do more work to earn it. At 20, I moved out to go to senior college, but I lived on campus, so my residence was techinically still with my parents. At 22, I moved out for good because I got married, got my first job, and moved away from home. I think I'm a successful, responsible 23 year old because of the things my parents taught me.
• Australia
12 Sep 07
ever since I was 8 I was given allowence from my parents so I knew very early what money ment and that it does not grow on trees. My husband is from overseas so when he came to lice here his english was nil so in order to have better life he had to go to school, if I was to go back to work and rent a house we would have starved, thats why my parents told us to stay with them. That way they managed to save money as well as all bills were paid in half (eg. telephone line rental is about $30 plus calls lets say $60 a month and we had $30 eac but if we lived apatr we would have paid $60 each).
@jep983 (50)
11 Sep 07
I am 23 and my sister is 25 and we still live with my parents. Its to do with houses being expensive. I am saving up though to move out and hopefully I am moving out next year.
• Australia
12 Sep 07
man the way house prices are going up all the time and interest (well in australia anyway) god knows if our kids will be able to buy a house in 20 years time. But all I do and get in life is for my son so if nothing else I can sell this one get a smaller one and give him some money to buy his own.
• United States
11 Sep 07
I am almost 20 adn I still live with my dad! He says that college isn't for everyone, so while I find myself, he says that I can stay. He wants me to be independent, which I am, I help pay the bills, and I help around the house. I believe that people are tired of thier kids and they just want some peace and quiet. My house is always noisy, but my dad says that what he hears is love in the house. I kinda agree with him cause when I leave and hear silence I kinda miss the noise my nephew and niece makes so yeah, I still think that when a child is ready to go, then they will go. I think that the child is going to have to make thier own decision!!
• Australia
12 Sep 07
I like your responce very much as you say its not just money its the love you feel and been close. I was much closer to my parents when I lived with them now we see aech other 2-3 times aweek but we are in a hurry and dont talk much. and are not involved in each others lifes as much which I miss a lot.
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
11 Sep 07
I think it pretty much depends of the kids and the parents. When they live harmoniously... they are quite happy to stay together. But when they don't... if the kid is earning a living... he cannot wait to get out of there and have a place of his own. Or if he does not want to work... or don't contribute towards his expenses... his parents kick him out. There is a reason for everything. No secrets. A kid would not want to stay at home if his parents did not love him. And parents would not kick their kids out if the kids did the right thing. Today... economics also come into it. Many kids stay at home to save money... or because they don't have a job paying enough to afford real rent. I know a 50 year old who has lived all his life with his parents... and still does. He has saved almost a million dollars for his retirement. Not only did I leave home at 18... but I left my country at 18. Talk about doing it on your own!
• Australia
11 Sep 07
I totaly agree with you and your way of thinking I think the same as well. Most kids do not fall in those category (well I should hope not ) the eg. was given of a guy in his early 20's and how his mum still does his ironing for him big deal I mean if my neighbour asked me to iron his shirt I would do it let alone my own flesh and blood. If thet the worse they can come up with then I am happy to do it til the day I die. If you know what I mean.
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
11 Sep 07
in todays world im not sure how a child straight out of school could go out on there own rent and food are so expensive, I would allow my child to stay at home as long as they needed,provided they were trying to make a go at it like working and saving.
• Australia
11 Sep 07
This is exacly how I feel often kids that have moved out feel like they have to choose education or job as they often cant aford paying all their bills, education, and working at the same time. I was at the top of my class because I was able to concentrate on my education (and had no excuse if I wasnt doing well :))))