What is wrong with debate?

Hello cyntrow! I really love to debate and have never refused one whenever there was a possibility except only once. It happened in the very beginning when I entered into a debate with someone. She was very abusive, not towards me but someone else. I told her that the matters could be discussed while being respectful to others but she wasn't just ready without abusing. So, I finally left her saying that I choose not to continue not because I can't debate but because of her continuous abusive attitude. Otherwise I have always debated issues even if someone is not respectful towards me, personally. I do not allow my self-esteem in the way of learning and making people understand other perspectives. Once, when a user became disrespectful, I told him that I do not appreciate his tone and language but I do appreciate his passion and that I don't mind being abused if I am able to make you understand the point. I was pleased when he left saying that he truly enjoyed the discourse with me. There are many people who believe that there is no point in arguing but I truly think that if we allow not to debate then human intellectual growth will be slowed and limited because of loss of opportunity of sharing the knowledge and perspectives. Quite often, people hold their beliefs and perceptions directed by their subjective experiences and misinterpretations. If we don't allow ourselves to open up and debate, welcoming different perspectives, we will certainly be at loss by not having thorough, complete and balanced picture. I do think that respect and civility are essential tools since otherwise disrespect can turn a person off from objective of learning and may make it a personal fight. Unfortunately, I see many people who are not willing to debate and I have seen it especially in my case. Many people do not indulge in debate with me, even though they are debating with others. Majority of those who choose to debate with me, become tired after some time and call the debate off, maybe because they don't see me fitting to debate with, I don't know. I respect their decision but I certainly would have enjoyed more if they had continued. It has happened quite often that even the most avid debaters refuse to continue debating with me. I usually wonder if there is some problem with me. Anyways, most of the times, they had been quite respectful which I find quite encouraging and delightful. And, I agree with you that a debate doesn't have to be disrespectful and uncivil. You probably haven't seen my debates but I really enjoy and appreciate disagreements and see them as more of a learning experience than agreements. I try my best to be civil and respectful even if I strongly disagree with the other person.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with debate but a civilised, positive debate on myLot is very rare. I read the previous response and although I agree with you that discussion and debate are very similar they are not quite the same. A discussion is talking about a subject and sharing your ideas or opinions, a debate is similar but more formal (a serious discussion if you like!) usually with the aim of changing the "other side's" opinion. You win or lose a debate but you don't win or lose a discussion. THAT I suspect is why good debates are so rare on myLot - there's some bad losers on here lol! Seriously I think that, although there are many articulate and intelligent myLotters who are more than capable of conducting a civilised debate (including yourself of course), they are sadly outnumbered by people who just aren't up for that at all. They want to share their ideas and opinions but they sure don't want them being challenged or debated! In that respect I agree with the previous respondent, that myLot really IS a discussion forum.

To each their own but here's my take on it. There are discussion boards and there are debate boards. My take on a discussion is where everyone can express their beliefs/opinions on the topic at hand. A debate is where two sides present their arguments and go back and forth and what not. Both sides are trying to convince the other that their opinion on the matter is right. It also gives one different ways to look at the topic. But then again, it can turn ugly. I'm against debates myself. Why should I argue with someone about what I believe in. No one is going to change my mind so why bother. Of course it goes both ways. I can't change the way of someone's thinking. Personally, I don't think Mylot is the place for debates. They call it a discussion board for a reason. People are going to end up debating no matter where you go though, so what can we do about it either way. LOL

My star is what it is because I do not avoid debates, LOL. I think it can be civil, it's hard when the other person wants to be a jerk about it and toss in snide remarks or names, but I have done it many times. I just stick with the topic and ignore their off topic comments. I think they let their emotions get in the way and foget this is about logic and learning. They get childish and close off their minds. At that point it's stupid to try to carry on any sort of conversation yet alone a debate.

I think it is what life is all about! We will never all agree about everything and debate surely keeps your mind active and working and a heck of a lot more interesting too! Too many people resort to abuse and aggression when they cannot 'beat' someone into agreeing with them on any given subject - this just shows their ignorance rather than helping their case! Debate is about comparing and explaining your point of view and can be very theraputic as well as informative and shouldn't cause any animosity! xxx

I feel like you do. I love to debate and BS and back and forth over different topics. But I hate when I get the distinct feeling that someone is being angry or hateful over it. Agreeing to disagree is necessary in life otherwise you just can't function on a healthy daily basis - people like that are always angry and mad!! No one has to agree with me or even back me up on my feelings and opinions, but they certainly shouldn't get all hateful either. That just makes me walk away - which I', sure to a person with that mentality shows as being a "coward" but why would I argue violently when that's not in me to do? I dunno...I guess I just can't stand to be around anything where someone wants me to change my opinion because it isn't like theirs - and usually that seems to be another goal of people that argue that way instead of debating liek civilized individuals. oh well.. hope you day is full of pleasnt rhetoric and no drama.

debate? i think....we can't run from what it call debate. not in controversial subject matter only.. in a simple matter,ex in family discussion maybe i belive there must be a simple matter that unsolve and became a big debate... "it happend in my home"...usually my brother and my sister..and me became the referee... :P