Couple divorce after online "AFFAIR"

Netherlands
September 26, 2007 2:18am CST
After a big shake of my head, and a chickle, I didn't know - shall I laugh or shall I cry. Really, this story is so absurd all together, that I still don't know how to react to it, appart from head shaking, and chuckles ;) Hilarious actually if it wasn't so sad for this particular couple... A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online under fake names. Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate. The couple met on an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy. They eventually decided to meet up - but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened. Now they are both filing for divorce - with each accusing the other of being unfaithful. Sana said: "I thought I had found the love of my life. The way this Prince of Joy spoke to me, the things he wrote, the tenderness in every expression was something I had never had in my marriage. "It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages - and how right that turned out to be. "We arranged to meet outside a shop and both of us would be carrying a single rose so we would know the other. "When I saw my husband there with the rose and it dawned on me what had happened I was shattered. I felt so betrayed. I was so angry." Adnan said: "I was so happy to have found a woman who finally understood me. Then it turned out that I hadn't found anyone new at all. "To be honest I still find it hard to believe that the person, Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things to me on the internet, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years." Copied from here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2512486.html?menu=news.quirkies Imagine being in the place of the woman (if you are a woman) and in the pace of this guy (if you are a guy), and than tell me please - would you do everything to get the feelings going with your other half, or would you indeed file for divorce? Me, or what I would do? I would definitely NOT file for divorce - simply because it seems like these two are bonded beyond the marriage, or how could you explain otherwise the being married to eachother, and even when they go in search of a new love online they "stumble" against eachother and start a story?? For me they are bonded together beyond imagination really, and should stay together, and work towards getting love working again, and be as sweet and lovely with one an other as when they acted this way while online and while thinking they have finally found their sould mate. It's so sad actually that these two didn't think about it the way that I am writing right now. What are your thoughts about it? And what would you do if it was you and your partner in their place? TheFortunes
6 people like this
21 responses
@sephrenia (567)
26 Sep 07
In a way that story is actually kind of sweet. I dont think they shold file for divorce, rather they should talk to each other more and try to find out why they couldnt say these things to each other face to face. I wonder why they both decided that rather than talk to each other before it got as far as the 'affair', they just went ahead and logged on to try and find somebody else. Either way i think divorce is the wrong path for these two, its obvious that once they opened up to each other that they were made for each other so they should try and work on that before going down such a painful route.
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
You are totally right about it Sephrenia and I am sorry that these two filed for divorce. They should have waited and decide with head cleared a bit, but there is little we can do...such a pity though, that these two are blinded at the moment... TheFortunes
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Sep 07
Hi thefortunes I don't really think I'd feel betrayed because I did the exact same thing that my hubby did. Instead I would see it in the other light that they must really be destined to be together if they still came face to face after pouring their hearts out to whom they thought was someone else. All they need is to get the lines of communication open again and they should be fine. As the saying goes "You can't fight fate!"
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Exactly PurpleTeddyBear, they are destined to be together but blind for the fact, and it is a real pity :) If I ever come in a situation like this one (and the chances are nill that i would) I am 100% sure that both me and my partner will burst into laughter when we see eachother with a rose, and awaiting the prins - princess of our dreams to step into our lives :) TheFortunes
3 people like this
• Canada
29 Sep 07
My hubby and I ran into a few "fatey" situations before we were married last year (we were on and off since 2000) so on our wedding day I knew we were meant to be together!
1 person likes this
@errielle (442)
• Philippines
28 Sep 07
What a beautiful story! They should not get divorce. They should realize that they were hiding some feelings and they ought to start from there. There's love for both of them but they didn't realize it and didn't know how to express it. Although i understand the "unfaithful" part. Your HUSBAND/WIFE is unfaithful to you because of YOU. kinda crazy to imagine but what can we do?If I were the woman, I would love my husband more (or again) and be the person I tried to project ONLINE because my husband loves it. And same with the guy. It's really sad if they will be separated. They were just ashame to admit that they have feelings for each other. Forget the "unfaithful" part. Because in the first place, they were "never" unfaithful. Whew!
• Netherlands
29 Sep 07
Hi Erielle and thank you for responding in this discussion :) If these two weren't so blind and filled with anger (which is totally unnecessary) they would have seen the truth. There is so much though that they could be shown and if they haven't seen it, all is in vane. This is why the story is utterly sad TheFortunes
3 people like this
• United States
27 Sep 07
That is quite amusing. What I don't get is why their filing for divorce, as it seems fate has helped them respark the fire in their love.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Exactly it is their fate and karma to stay together - but some people are "blind" for the truth I guess :) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
This story is so ironic. I don't know what I would do in a situation like this. I hope it never happens to me. But if I were them, I wouldn't file for divorce, I would try to work it out. How ironic that they had been cheating on each other with each other! Those 2 are certainly meant to be! They just don't know it. lol.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Candiec2005, hehehe, ironic, and sad as they do deserve one another :) And dont worry it will happen to you - just be good with one another, and share a word of love and confort every day, give a kiss and a hug even when you are angry and all will be fine :)| TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
26 Sep 07
I guess it would depends on their intentions when they decided to me. Was it friendship or a physical affair? They had unknowingly found each other again, and each knew how the other felt about them. This is certainly a lot cheaper then a marriage counselor. If they wanted to, I think they have a good basis to work on their problems. But if each perceived the other as poor evil..forget it...too much damage is done.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Debs, these two definitely chose the shorter route, but it was a big mistake. They should have chosen to work on their problems instead, such a pity that they were so short sighted :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
@Bunsdk (242)
• Denmark
26 Sep 07
At first glance, I would say thats just a bad story with the internet as basis, but hey anything can happen. If its really true, lol they had it coming then. They werent true to themselves or their partner so its a given they wont stick with eachother. Dating on the net or flirting over the net is always fun, but not acceptable when in a relationship. Well ofc there are sometimes its ok, but lets not go down that road. If someone tries to hook up, while being married... he/she should get the boot. But still, Im inclined to think this is just what it is.. a story, since Ive already heard it like 50 times the last couple of years. Pretty close to "Youve got mail" theme heh? :D
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Bunsdk, I do not believe it is a fake story. But apart from this, they definitely deserve one another :) and I think they should have never filed for divorse :) They have been condemned to one another in this lifetime, is how I see it :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
• United States
26 Sep 07
I probably would have felt betrayed.Not sure what I would have done because there wouldnt be any trust after this incident.However I do believe things happen for a reason and they obviously were brougth back together for a reason. Its sweet like a movie.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Fiestyjesica and thanks for your responce :) But tell me please, how can you feel betrayed if you did exactly the same thing? You are not better than him in any case, or this is how I see it. The fact that they both felt betrayed is totally morronic in my opinion as they both betrayed one another, and deserve eachother whichever way you look at it :) A very good story for a movie though :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
that was a funny story. I also don't agree on them filing a divorce. For me, it just seem that no matter what they do and much they tried, they will just end up meeting and finding comfort and love on each others arms. That was so sweet! Thanks for sharing that!
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
You are very welcome, and I loved the story too :) It should be in some eductional books too I think, books about human relations, love, marriage etc :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
26 Sep 07
This is amazing. It goes to show how easy it is to fool people over the internet when chatting to someone. I guess there is a story in just that. Howver, I am inclined to agree with you. Although, superficially, it would appear that this couple should divorce, being that they were both unhappy in their marriage. But the fact that they "hooked" up online, & found love with each other, indicates to me that as a couple, there was, at least initially some great attraction & things in common. Really, if they are keen to be together, there is ample indication that going to a good marriage guidance counsellor might be the solution.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Jenny, and I agree that a counsellor would have been the best option for these two... instead they already filed for divorse. And I feel pity for how stupid these two are acting, as both are equaly to blame, and they deserve eachother :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
26 Sep 07
I certainly agree that they are meant to be together. After they divorce they will probably realize how silly they are being. Of the thousands of people on the net, they just happen to find each other, that has to be fate, or maybe it was just God's sense of Humor :)
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Heheheh Nikkiwith, yes, I am sure they will realise it afterwards, but it will be too late, unless they consider marrying again :) TheFortunes
2 people like this
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
if it happened to me. the first reaction would be the feeling of betrayal. but i do not think i will have to file a divorce i think that the two of us should talk about our problem and if the guy would agree to settle our problems then it would be better than going in separate ways.
2 people like this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Thank you for your responce Wild_flow_r and I agree with you. If at least these two could have thought before acting and filing for divorce... TheFortunes
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2900)
• Canada
26 Sep 07
Honestly if it had happened to me I would have had a realization that we finally started to communicate when we didn't know it was the other we had been talking to..And how can either of them be upset really since they both went on the chat forum for the same reason...I think it's sad really that they don't see that they really could of worked things out instead of filing for divorce...I mean that got obviously what was missing communication in their relationship and marriage...If it had happened to me I would of known more to communicate with my husband.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Exactly BlueAngelIRS, the communication is what was missing, + they both said that the other didnt give them a good word, or a hug and a kiss, so they were growing away from one another for a good while. They'll be sorry after the divorce is a fact I think, and they have had time to think things over :) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Oct 07
Lets hope that maybe they will realize but then agains sometimes when a person realizes something it's too late, I feel really bad in away for them that they can't see the whole picture before jumping into a divorce.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
3 Oct 07
Me too BlueAngelIRS, this would have been the best thing these two could have done, call it a truce for awhile and than see eachother and talk... TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@blackbriar (9126)
• United States
6 Oct 07
I'm with you, thefortunes. The couple should of tried to work it out thru counciling instead of filing for divorce. It's clear they still love each other but were unhappy with the way their marriage has gone to seek other ppl out.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
7 Oct 07
I am glad you agree with me Blackbriar, and it doesnt matter that much what all of us think, as these two are in for a bad surprice, kind off, when they are dicvorced they'll find out how wrong they acted and reacted to their destiny ;) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9502)
• United States
3 Oct 07
I think that these two are made for one another and should be finding out why they had to get online to say these kinds of things. These guys should not get divorced as it is obvious that they share a huge bond and a love.
• Netherlands
4 Oct 07
Totally agree with you carolscash :) If they weren't so blinded by anger, life would have been much happier and easier on them ;) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@jazgottt (1181)
• Poland
29 Sep 07
hi thefortunes. funny situation, really:). It's funny for me maybe because it is impossible for me to be in the same situation. I am very loyal and I'd start to flirt with other guys when my raltionship is over. This story can show, that it's sometimes something inside us, what makes our relationship not working good. Even when we think, that it's because our beloved one is not that good. They both were kind and warm-hearted to unknown person (who was well known person in fact;). But in everyday life, they were not so sweet to each other. I think we should start from ourselfs to impove our life od relationship. I don't know how would I react. This situation seems to be completly impossible in my case hehe. But I think I won't be angry. I would still find it funny. have a nice day
• Netherlands
30 Sep 07
Thank you for your responce in this discussion Jazgottt, and am glad that you wouldn't consider a dicorce if you were in this situation :) as wouldn't I do if ever in the same situation. The chance of happening to us is nill though as I mentioned earlier. But if it will we oth will laugh at it really ;) TheFortunes
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44031)
• United States
27 Sep 07
You know in one sense this is so hysterically funny. But I agree with you that they shouldn't get a divorce...if they were able to express themselves so wonderfully while on-line even though they thought they were communicating to someone different, then they should turn it around and say the same "endearing" things to each other in real life, and talk over their disappointments face to face...but then, they already know that by the way they discussed their marriage. I think too, and maybe I'm off base here,...rather than being angry and annoyed and feeling hurt, if this happened to me, I'd laugh at the whole thing and see the silly irony of it all.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hehehe, yes Pye, funny and sad at the same time it is :) Some people are cursed to remain blind I guess, and I couldn't agree more with what you aresaying about "... if this happened to me, I'd laugh at the whole thing and see the silly irony of it all." as me and Willem will be doing the same :) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Sep 07
Aaah Priceless!! Im laughing with you!! lol I think they should stay together as well, I mean like you said they sound bonded way beyond just saying "I Do". I think they should take what they told one another about their "partner" and use it to make the things upsetting them work! All a relationship takes is some communication, something they had and dont even know it. Im not sure I would be talking to my lover secretly online and not know it, hes really illiterate when it comes to the PC and getting a web page to open up, let alone getting in a chat room "chatting people up" LOL You just have to know my hubby. Bay xx
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Thanks for your responce BayleighGray, and I think I will recognize my partner too, no matter after which nick he will be hiding on a forum - we know eachother too well :) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1919)
• Jamaica
26 Sep 07
I laughed when I read it. it just to go that they are soul mate and not even realising it. What they should do is indeed as you said to begin to practice love and do it in the right way. The are both hardheaded though and really deserve each other. I believe if they work at it thye would find out that they are really made for each other. Thats a good one though.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
28 Sep 07
Hi Sharon, and thank you for your contribution :) These two will be sorry later on, mark my words...when they find out that they couldnt find a better suitable for them person than the one they lost :) TheFortunes
1 person likes this
• India
1 Oct 07
I am really wondering how can a person go behind someone whom he/she have only known through internet and leave someone who has been part and parcel of their life for a long time .its a real foolishness tht people are commting by falling in such relationships which are forbidden by our society and culture