Most of the successful marriages are due to the wives who allow

By Bala
@balasri (26554)
India
October 4, 2007 10:20am CST
their husbands' occasional flirting.Do you think the husbands realize and respect their wives for this?
3 people like this
7 responses
@kwenge (2493)
• Kenya
6 Oct 07
Me and my husband flirt with each other even in public. And I allow him to flirt with other girls but nothing more. We trust in each other so much and I know he cannot do something that I dont like. He respects me alot for this. Wait a minute, he can only flirt with strangers not women he see and meets everyday like colleagues. He can flirt with salesladies, shop attendants etc.
2 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
7 Oct 07
That is nice.I am happy and thrilled at the variety of responses I get for this discussion.
@kwenge (2493)
• Kenya
8 Oct 07
You are welcome. I also enjoy this discussions because atleast you get to learn one or two things and if you dont learn anything, atleast you get some good entertainment here and there. I like your thread.
@Terri_R (302)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Well balasri, it goes both ways. My husband and I trust each other and feel secure in our marriage. Neither of us is threatened by a little harmless flirting. We have great communication between us and if and when a problem arises we are open to talk about it. We respect the individuality of the other and appreciate the freedom we have found in each other.
@Terri_R (302)
• United States
5 Oct 07
I absolutely do. We have such a unique relationship and one I am very thankful for.
@Terri_R (302)
• United States
5 Oct 07
Balasri, there seems to be confusion in the comments about your topic. I felt it was a fairly simple concept and found it easy to comment upon but perhaps you could clarify exactly what you are talking about when you say "flirting around" for others? I think that would help some.
@balasri (26554)
• India
5 Oct 07
Thanks .You are right.Some people have gone to the extent of saying that I am living in a fool's paradise.I am not advocating ,promoting or supporting extramarital affairs here.I have seen this happening in few families.So I thought that I will bring this as a discussion.That is all.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
5 Oct 07
You really think that's true? Noe of the husbands in successful relationships that I know flirt and I seriously doubt if their wives would allow it. They'd throw a fit? I think it's crazy if a husband respects his wife for tolerating his flirting. That's just permission for him to do it again! First, he cheapens her by flirting with someone else and then he respects her for tolerating!And what is the point of occassional flirting? Why does he need to do it? To get confirmation that he is still attractive to other women? And what is the wife supposed to feel? What if the wife was the one who was occassionally flirting? You think the husband's would allow that?
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
5 Oct 07
Well I am not supporting the issue of wives tolerating the husbands flirting.But I have seen many families especially in the movie field whose the family is held together by the ladies only.These are smart ladies who are capable of taking best decisions.It is their life.I don't think we have the right to judge them though the practice is unacceptable generally.That is what I meant to say.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
5 Oct 07
Well, your discussion topic sounded like you were generalizing about most successful marriages and not a small percentage (which includes families in movies). Anyways, I really don't think such a marriage can be really termed 'successful' if the husband flirts and the wife ignores it. Now, if like someone said, both husband and wife are committed and both do some harmless flirting..then maybe fine. A wife who ignores a husband's flirting is mostly seething inside and not doing anything because she has been brought up to believe that she should not question the husband.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
5 Oct 07
May be I am wrong in selecting the right words in expressing what I thought.I respect your opinions.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
5 Oct 07
Some guys love to flirt with other ladies ,but there is no malice involved. As long as they do it in a respectful way without any disrespect to the spouse.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
6 Oct 07
It all depends on the attitude of an individual person.You have a point there.Thank you very much.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
5 Oct 07
Hi Bala, Well said. Leave alone the flirting bit, marriages in our country mostly work due to the wives - no issues about it. Men would have no idea what they go through and how they handle those and I feel the house wives work 24X7X365 without any kudos. Well - that was a digress from the topic, couldn't help writing this. I have found all men flirting and the women accepting them like that. Can you imagine the women doing the same and get away with it!! lol.. PS: This is with respect to our country alone.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
5 Oct 07
Hi Mimpi.Good response.In spite of the preachings,and talking about the heritage and culture by the elite and affluent who pose as the guardians of morality our women run their lives perfectly in a way that is most suitable and agreeable to them.They seem to know what they are doing and handling it efficiently too.Every one knows what is good and what is bad.You don't have to thrust upon others who know what they are doing I think.
1 person likes this
@thefortunes (2368)
• Netherlands
4 Oct 07
Hi Balasri, LOL, are you absolutely sure about your statement? I am not so sure really, not about the 1st part and also about the 2nd ;) If my partner would flirt around I don't think we would have been together for so many years, and not because I'd be jealous, but because it would mean disregard towards my feelings, and would make the others see this disregard too, making it very embarrassing situation for me and us all in all. TheFortunes
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
7 Oct 07
I value your opinion on this discussion.Thanks for the same.
• Philippines
11 Oct 07
I believe so. Based on observations marriage lasts long if the wives allow their husbands to flirt sometimes. This is not to condone that behavior of the men. It's just that society seems so kind to men that it does not condemn married men's flirting . But i still believe it's kind of unfair to the women. Males and females are created equal I believe. What will hurt a woman definiteley will hurt a man. That's why society should not condone male's attitude towards this thing.