If you care too much for someone, will you be hurt more by him?

@subha12 (18453)
India
October 9, 2007 12:22am CST
Is it the new rule of the world? If you take care of somebody so much, that person takes advantage of you and will stab you from behind. I have seen this in my life. There was someone who acted just nice to take advantager of me. He new of my caring nature. After all this problems was solved, he just behaved in nasty manner and we are no more in touch. Do you think the same?
3 people like this
18 responses
• China
9 Oct 07
i think such things happens often. when the degree of love between two people is unbalanced, then the one who expressed more love can be easily used. as we know that when someone really love someone else, he or she would do every thing for the other, without asking for anything, because love exist. but if everything between them is only a illusion, there is no true love, then, that one who showed the true love, who care more will be hurt, while the other are intact.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
9 Oct 07
you are right in your opinion.
@2babita (1074)
• India
9 Oct 07
Well,it happened with me also.Nowadays people take the advantage of the goodness and after they finishing their needs they just don't bother about any relation,they just cooly stab without thinking that one day they will also be stabed by somebody.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
9 Oct 07
it has made me believe no one.
• India
9 Oct 07
You are right. People are become so mean now a days that there is no value for imotions. my own brother did me same thing. He had some problems getting married. he used me for the sake of that. my brother never used to do any thing without informing me. he wanted my suggession in all his decisions. now after he got married. he is not even talking to me pr operly. it's happend in the close familycircle. But if we think the otherway, when any one cares a person a lot then a small negligence or misunderstanding from that person can hurt a lot also.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
9 Oct 07
at first small negligences used to hurt. later he turned out to be a fraud.
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
"the person that can hurt you most is the person whom you love most" - i do believe in it. in order that people won't take advantage of our love and care we should not give everything that we have. we should make sure that everytime we give something we won't accept something in return (this would help us not to get hurt very badly). as long as youre happy with what you're doing, go for it and enjoy life! :-)
@poohgal (6848)
• Singapore
10 Oct 07
Hello there. It's very true. The more you care about someone, the more hurt you are when he/she betrays you or lies to you. The reason why we feel more hurt is because usually we place more expectations on people we love and care. And when they fail to meet our expectations, we get hurt and feel sad or angry. Anyway, ignore those people who are just trying to take advantage of you. They are not worthy friends. Take care.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
10 Oct 07
This sounds all so familiar to me too, when I care about someone I really care and when I care I do just about anything for them and I seem to attract the sort of people who take advantage of this and I seem to get mega hurt all the time and you know what I never learn from it....
• India
10 Oct 07
Yes absolutely...its a human psychology that the one you love the most ought to hurt you the most and this is because of the reason that we expect equal treatment from them as well what we give them and this is the major problem which gives rise to others
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
10 Oct 07
I don't know about that, although in my experience that has happened a few times too. It is true that the more we care for someone, the more power that person has to hurt us deeply. Even when they don't even mean it. But I know what you mean in this discussion. It does seem that people are not worrying much anymore about stabbing friends in the back - for various reasons and some are really not even worth. Going over everyone and everything to achieve what they want seems to be the word of order nowadays. Yes, there are still some thoughtful people that will think about the others before acting, but they're becoming less and less. We live in selfish times ( ME, me, me , more me, and then some me.. and them maybe I"ll think of you) THe good news is that , not everyone is like that.
• China
10 Oct 07
I've been always seen the people with a soft heart get hurt easily.And those heartless people are better suvive in this world. Maybe it is the rule of world.Especially in love who moved first will be deeply hurt than later.
@chym1101 (169)
• China
10 Oct 07
hello, subha. I had the same opinion as yours before. There are a few people I like or love so much that I consider for them more than myself and I will not care for even they make mistakes for me. But sometimes I felt it is unfair for me because I paid so much but i have not get what i deserve. Why should they treat me like that? There was always plaintive feeling in my heart. I changed my view till I learned some words that 'there is not fairness or unfairness in love' talked by my favorit actress who is a brave and wise girl in love. Yes, it is right! When you love someone, he or she must can bring you joyness that nothing can replace.And love is a nobel thing itselt, it is unfair to weigh it with other things if you really fell unfair. Open your heart to love others!
@maiax2k6 (535)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
to answer your question, i'd say yes. the more you love, the more you put yourself out there, the more you become vulnerable to hurts and heartpains if it will all come down to it. that's the risk of loving. maybe because there's a lot of expectations going on - you would want to be treated this way and that, you invest a large amount of time, effort, emotions, not to mention money. you expect some ROI even though you say to yourself that your love is unconditional - it will all come down to being conditional afterall, in the sense that you would want care to be paid off with the same caring; your respect to be returned with the same. but this isn't the case all the time. people are different from each other, and we have different levels of motivations, of seeing, of caring, of loving. and if it's not matched with what we throw in, we really become sad.
@Sharon38 (1916)
• Jamaica
9 Oct 07
This is just life. It happens to me too but I dont get bitter about it. I encourage myself in hte knowledge knowing that I did the best I could and I was a genuine friend and you should too. What you can do though is try to investigate them out before getting too close. It will take some time but it will be worth it in the end and please dont stop being nice because of these experiences, they will get what is due to them in time. Keep sweet and God bless!
@shy_gal (235)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 07
Hi subha12, My thinking same as you. Nowadys, there have a lot of kind people who will act different from their nature. They will act friendly in front of you but will show another face/attitude behind of us. I also faced this kind of scenario before,she will told me her difficulties as want me to help her. After that, she will act differently when her problems have been settle. So, we must carefully choose our friends!! Hope you can choose your truely friends!!
• Malaysia
9 Oct 07
yeah, it's possible. like if you care a lot for someone, that person might step on you and take you for granted. maybe because they know that you care for them and will forgive them no matter what. i don't really fancy those kind of people! there are some things that we can tolerate, and some things we can't. everything has a limit, so even if someone cares too much for us, we shouldn't take advantage of that.
• United States
9 Oct 07
yes i have had the same problem. it does hurt more
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
Yes I think you tend to be taken for granted when you love too much. I have experienced this in my own relationships. But the nice thing about loving too much is that when the relationship fails, you have no regrets because you know deep inside that you've done everything you could.
@surajpkn (584)
• India
9 Oct 07
That is relationship. We care so much about a person. We always make sure that he/she is safe and is doing well but if we do not get proper response from him/her, it is natural that we get hurt to the core. It is psychological that the one we love the most are the ones who hurt us the most. We cannot blame them but the fact is that even small disappointments will reflect bad inside our hurts and will hurt us more. Its because of the care we have on them and no because they like hurting us
• Canada
9 Oct 07
Yes, it is the worldly rule. When you care, trust, and all the emotions that go a long with the relationship, temptation can take over. The temptations we give into become the destroyers of relationships. When we are tempted, gods' consciencness leaves us, too test us. We then are left to choice. We have a choice to give into this temptation or not. Have more than just a caring nature, try to be strong and stand on gods' word for his promises.