Power-madness-Why do people have this desire to dominate?

@kalav56 (11503)
India
October 17, 2007 6:54am CST
I cannot understand why some people can never adopt a ''live and let live policy'' and want to plan for others. They would like everything to go precisely their way and will achieve this by just manipulation.Of course I know that each of us is made in a unique way, but clever planning and manipulation to one's own advantage is no recipe for a good relationship. How can one still be friends with a person who has manipulated and in the process hurt you? Please give me your views on this with your own examples. I am sure you would have faced similar situations.
1 person likes this
1 response
• Canada
30 Oct 07
I am surprised that you didn't have responses to this discussion because it is a good one and so prevalent in today's world. I do not think there are any easy answers to it...but I can think of a few. The greatest example I had was my father growing up. He always ranted, raved and practically blew a gasket when anyone confronted him on most anything he didn't want to hear...or deal with. He always told me growing up to "Do what he said...not what he does." His power controls involved, lying, manipulating, abusing...sexually, emotionally and mentally. His power madness created many heartaches for my mother and me...but in the end he did me a favor because his behavior set me on a path that I wanted to be a polar opposite to who he was, how he lived and treated others. I learned a strength from him that would not have been available if he had been a wise, caring, loving father, Why did he do it? I do not know that for sure. However, as I grew in awareness and did my own inner healing work I came to understand that through life he became a fearful, angry, wounded man who never dealt with any of it. Rather than using his life to grow, change and expand awareness he CHOSE to make himself feel taller by standing on the heads of everyone else. People who become bigoted, dogmatic, egotistical learned that behavior somewhere. To me they are compensating for inadequacies within themselves that they try to hide by being domineering, overbearing bullies. I live with the idea that there is no best in the world of individuals. Comparison to others and thinking the only way to have what is wanted is by taking advantage of others may suit some people's needs...but in the end what goes around does come around in the karmic wheel of life. I believe that...have seen it. So when those like my father or others draw their last breath the cosmic justice will eventually reveal that there are higher pathways and eventually they will have to learn it. If not in this life...then another one...or within a different realm. Whether that is true or not...it gives me inner peace while I am here...and that is enough to allow me to disengage from the energy around the tough times and move towards more of what I want to create in life. I let go of it years ago because I was determined to not allow my father...or his influence control me. Letting go set me free...and I rarely give him...or my previous family life much thought. Even God cannot change the past...so moving on has created liberation for me...and I do not ever intend to go back to the old ways. Been there...done that. I have new experiential lessons to learn...and NOW is all any of us really have so it is my intent to make the most of it. Anyway...great topic...always a pleasure to chat with you. I sent you a follow up e-mail and look forward to building our pen pal bond. Cheers, Raia
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
31 Oct 07
Hi Raia, Thanks a lot for your response and as usual[now I really feel justified and that it is not an exaggeration when I use the term 'as usual']I was struck by the similarity in our thought processes. Especially, because, I have also thought that perhaps it is a peculiar feeling of inadequacy or a complex that makes people act the way they do[power mad and dominating]. We keep learning so many lessons in life and I wholeheartedly agree with you when you say that moving on has created a sort of liberation in you. This must have taken a long time and a tough period of transition -[I used to brood over the past and yearn for the 'might have beens'' in spite of being aware that past can never be changed. I know that only detachment can help one achieve this and it calls for a great deal of maturity to work at it. As you rightly pointed out 'every cloud has a silver lining' and your father and your earlier difficulties have contributed in their own way in steeling you. But, I do feel that when our closest[so called] people teach us lessons the positive aspect of all those lessons come later with our 'making the best out of a bad job' and it is undesirable. Anyhow, what cannot be cured must be endured and yours is a great example of endurance. I will be sending a mail within 2 days. Great sharing of ideas!