Parents TOO involved in their children's lives

@cassidy22 (2975)
United States
October 30, 2007 4:37pm CST
Get this, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a university advisor. She was my advisor when I was in college. She was lamenting that she wishes there were more students like me. And she started telling me stories of how parents are involved in their childrens lives when they are at college. This DISGUSTED me! Parents calling to ask why their son or daughter wasn't admitted. Parents calling PROFESSORS asking them to change their child's grade in class. Parents calling potential employers and NEGOTIATING THEIR SALARY! parents GOING TO INTERVIEWS WITH STUDENTS! My lord! How are your children ever supposed to stand on their own if you are following behind them every step of the way begging, pleading and coercing better grades, salaries, etc. for them. That just amazed me! I never needed my parents to do my dirty work for me. I can't even IMAGINE them ever calling my professor OR my employer. How do you think society has gotten so messed up? DO you raise your children this way?
3 people like this
4 responses
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
30 Oct 07
well I think some parents really do live their lives through their children as maybe their own wasn't exactly what they had wanted, and also there are those people who like better than everyone else , some like the best cars, the best houses, the best clothes and som parents just have to have the best kids I guess.
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
30 Oct 07
I just wonder how you can have the "best kids" when you do everything for them? How can they be independent adults who can take care of themselves, when their parents constantly interfere with their lives? they may think they are doing the best for their children, but to me, they are setting them up for failure instead of success
2 people like this
@bizmom (515)
• United States
30 Oct 07
wow how horrible!! i do agree with u there i think ALOT of parents do live their lives through thier kids! :( sadly! It makes me wonder alot about why college students are so depressed! ( gee now i know!!) Id have literally KILLED my mother if she did any of those things to me! - i went to college for a bit - it just wasnt for me :( - but parents negotiating thier work SALERY!!?? OMG!!! talk about NOT able to cut the apron stings! so horrible!! **and we wonder why Jessica Simpson didnt KNOW HOW to pick up a spilled egg on the floor!! WOW!! ( her parents DID EVERYTHING FOR HER!**) so sad! i pity those kids i really do! :( - what are they going to do when thier parents are gone? and or what will the parents do if those kids just give up!!?? XX
@alamode (3073)
• United States
31 Oct 07
Parents of a certain era were taught that involvement equals love... however, they were not told when they needed to teach self-sufficiency and independence! It is a big concern as to how the current 18- 24- year-olds are going to make it into careers and life in general... hopefully they have native intelligence, or common sense gleaned from grandparents or teachers... Its such a shame that we fell for that hype! We have done these kids a disservice!
• Canada
2 Nov 07
If my parents ever tried to do that to me, I'd change my name and leave town!!! I can't believe some people. What are their "kids" doing about this? How are they handling it? Are they standing up to their parents, finding they just can't shake them, or do they not have the guts to do that? Worse still, do they LIKE the attention?
@cassidy22 (2975)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I can't even imagine being in their shoes. Man, I wanted to split from my parents when I was 12 and be independent. But if you grew up your ENTIRE life with your parents cleaning up all your messes, making all difficult decisions for you, and basically doing everything for you so that you wouldn't fail... you wouldn't know anything else! Heck, you wouldn't even know where to start! So i think these kids just put up with it. They haven't learned a modicum of responsibility, and why would they care? it's truly saddening.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
22 Dec 07
I guess some parents are too protective. My dad always made me do my own stuff since I was in middle school. I had just changed schools - in a different country and didn't know the language (though it was my mother tongue) and he made me use public transport. Though I was mad at him then for not helping, I realized soon enough that it was for the best. He even made us (my sister and I)fill out all our application forms (even passport applications when we were younger). We could always go to him when we needed help and we learnt to gauge for ourselves what we needed to figure out and when we really needed help. When I started working, I would discuss certain issues I had at work (as an adult with him). He would give me suggestions...but it was for me to take the final decision. My kids are quite young but I plan to raise them the same way too.