The nerve of people...complete strangers at that!!

United States
November 4, 2007 8:29pm CST
I was out and about doing some Christmas / Birthday shopping for my daughter and i came across this my size dora doll that i told her if she potty trained id get for her so i was talking to her about it and i mentioned that she held up her end of the bargain it was my turn and a women out of nowhere approaches me and says " excuse me dont you think thats a bit much of a treat for potty trainin" and i went to respond but before i could she then proceeds with " what does she get when she learns a new word?? and by the way can you afford a $100 gift at that?" i was baffled, tongue tied i in all honestly was ready to deck her then a women who over heard says " m'am i have 4 children and id pay anything not to have to change diapers again" and the rude women said whatever and walked off can you BELIEVE that the nerve of her..who is she to tell me how i can and can not reward my daughter not to mention question whether or not i can afford it. have you ever had an encounter like this with a rude complete stranger who just had to put their two sense in?? if so please share
6 people like this
19 responses
@segomi (43)
• United States
5 Nov 07
The problem is that people in this world believe that their way is the only way and they always have to get their 2 cents in. I understand your frustration completely and I know it's hard to not get angry. I don't even know what I would have said. But, I think "I don't believe I asked for your opinion" would have been what I would have said if it were me. Unfortuantely, I am one of those people who always thinks of the best thing to say about 3 days later.
• United States
5 Nov 07
that would of been something along the lines of maturity and adult like to say but at the moment neither or those were running through my head. i was sooo tongue tied and shocked that i couldnt get a word out but like you said 3 days later you have plenty to say lol thanks for your input
• United States
5 Nov 07
Isn't that always the case? Why can't we think of the smart, adult, witty comments when we really need them? I am the same way, brain freezes and I just stand there like an idiot. What "I should have said" always pops in too late! I can not believe the gaul of people these days. How you raise your child, and what rewards you give her is your choice only and none of anyone's business. Unbeliveable!! By the way, for my first child, it was scooby-doo underpants he saw at the store and just had to have. Two days later. . No more diapers! Still working on my second child, would give him a car at this point! :)
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
5 Nov 07
My son was tongue-tied until he was 17 months old when we finally got the approval for surgery to correct the issue. Because of this, he was still drinking from a bottle as he couldn't chew food and push it to the back of his throat to swallow it. We had to buy special formula for him. Well, we went shopping at WalMart one day and he wanted his bottle. Remember he is only 17 months old at this time. The checker asked me how old my son was and I told her. Then she looked at me and told me that I really needed to get him off that bottle or his teeth would rot out. I told her that he had some eating difficulties and we were waiting on surgery. She actually told me that if he got hungry enough, he would learn to eat and as a parent it was my job to have gotten him off the bottle at 6 months. I was so upset that I didn't even pay for my stuff, I just walked out. Interestingly enough, the doctor had said the same thing back when he was 6 months old and I went to her concerned that he couldn't eat the baby food and was losing weight. I went to several doctors who all basically said the same thing. Finally, in desperation, I called the first doctor's daddy, who had been my doctor when I was a baby. I begged him to see us. He took one look at my son's mouth and asked why it hadn't been corrected when he was 6 months old, as that is the age that most children have this issue corrected at. I told him the history of doctors and their responses. He had us seeing an ENT doctor the next day. Today, my son is able to stick his tongue out, something he couldn't do until he was 17 months old. He had a lisp and will need speech therapy when he starts school, a direct result of his not having had the surgery at 6 months: BEFORE he started to learn to talk. He had to have food therapy at 18 months to learn to eat as he was a year behind in development on that issue. To the people who gave me grief over his bottle before and for the short time after his surgery, I would just tell them that he had some medical issues and thank you so much for pointing them out to the whole world because children love to be told how different they are from everyone else. Most would get embarrassed and say "sorry, I didn't know" and I would say something along the lines of "that's right, you don't know my situation so back off".
2 people like this
• United States
6 Nov 07
WOW!! that was alot to take in! people can be so insensitive and rude sometimes !! how is your son these days! doing well i hope! thanks for your input and i hope all is well
@sid556 (31002)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I have dealt with many many rude people along the way but never quite so bold over something so not anyone's business. I probably would have been shocked as you were and not said anything but then gone home and thought of all sorts of things that I wished i had said to put her in her place. I think its very cool that you made your daughter a promise and kept it. A little incentive is not a bad thing at all. I didn't offer my kids rewards for every little thing but certain milestones and especially something they struggled with...ya, i'd offer up a carrot. why not?
2 people like this
• United States
5 Nov 07
exactly my children are not rewarded for every little good thing or behavior they do but something like potty training or even something along the lines of getting them motivated to accomplish an important and harder task then yes ill offer them a "treat" at the end but those days are far in between . and believe me i have a little one on the way and to not have to change 2 set of diapers is sounding pretty nice!
@tlb0822 (1412)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Wow...the nerve of some people completely surprises me. I think that rewarding your daughter was a wonderful idea. I have never had anyone really say anything to me along those lines, but i would defiantly be offended if someone did. I don't know exactly how i would react in that situation. That lady had no place butting her nose into your business. I hope that your daughter enjoys her doll and the potty training remains successful.
• United States
5 Nov 07
Thank you for your input! and so far so good she has been potty trained for a month and no accidents etc..knock on wood! thanks again
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
5 Nov 07
It's amazing the nerve some people have isn't it! I'd pay anything right now for my one boy to get potty trained. He's been promised a big bouncy ball, pink undies (don't ask lol), and a whole bunch of other things. I wish I'd been there when this woman started in on you. I would have told her I promised my son a trip to New Mexico as an incentive and see what she had to say about that...it's the truth too, family was going to go anyway though so it wasn't a trip JUST for potty training but she wouldn't have needed to know that! I have encountered rude people although I can't for the life of me piece together a single story. I'm sure two days from now when I'm not even thinking about it a whole one will come to me!
2 people like this
• United States
5 Nov 07
that was like my little one she was promised everything and anything i coudl think of but she wouldnt budge until this one toy so hey why not id give it a try and it worked :) also people promise kids cars for graduation, money for good grades etc so, so what if a 2 1/2 yr old gets a $100 toy its noones business but mine, mu hubbys and our checking out!!! thanks so much for your input! good luck to you eventually something will catch his eye and he'll work hard to earn it!
@shakeroo (3990)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 07
That is very rude of her! I would have put the potty trainer on her head and that would have thought her a lesson. She has no right to say anything pertaining to how others brought up their kids. It is up to us to reward our kids accordingly based on the good things that our kids have done or achived and based on what we can afford to give as rewards.
• United States
5 Nov 07
Exactly what i was thinking. yes too some people a $100 reward is a bit much but i ahve been struggling to get my daughter potty trained especially before our new baby arrives and nothing worked until she saw that dora and insisted on having it so i made a deal with her and she followed through so it was my turn. and that women was just very much out of lined and i was too much in shock to even tell her where to stick her unwanted advicel, thanks so much for your response
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
6 Nov 07
Rude is so prevelent these days, it doesn't surprise me at all! In my apt complex, my husband had pulled my car out of our garage and parrall parked it to do something to it and this woman comes up to him and says "You know you are blocking that persons garage and he can't get out if he comes out here". My husband just looked at her and said "Am I blocking your garage?" She said "no". He said "Am I in your way?" she says "no" then he said " then stop bothering me". He went on about what he was doing and she just stood there and then walked away. But good grief - who does she think she is? What did she think she'd accomplish? Next time say something like "oh, you mean this is $100? Oh my gosh, your right! I should be shot for spending only a measley $100 on my child. What a horrible mother I am! Thankyou so much for pointing that out and setting me straight! Come, little one, we need to go find you something for at least $200 and please forgive mommmy for thinking so little of you, I really didn't mean to!"
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 07
LOL!!! You have a great comeback for that lady. I think if she would have said that to the lady. It would have definitly put her in her place. I will have to remember that just incase I am in that situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 07
MAN where were you when i needed that comeback???? that soo would of definetly put her in her place! ill have to remeber that so next time (hoepfully there wont be) i wont be so blind sided thanks again
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
5 Nov 07
So rude, inappropriate and intrusive. On a practical side, a few months of diapers cost way more then that. My husband is Asian and was potty trained at ten months - late for many countries who begin at birth and babies are trained soon after. Talk about saving diapers. I haven't started yet - my baby is a year but I'm looking forward to it. On a strictly emotional side, how infuriating for her to go ahead and impose herself on your space to talk about things that are none of her business. I wonder what you would've said had you not been caught so uch by suprise. Have a relaxing week.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
6 Dec 07
You know, I've gotten similiar "advice" about my baby. I nurse - he's almost a year and will be weaned very soon (its been hard with heavy duty migraines and not being able to take even Excederin). Friends give me unsolicited advice about weaning and solid foods (he eats plenty of solids) and my mother and sister in law had much to say about it on our visit Thanksgiving. How he wasn't getting enough nutrition and he wouldn't grow up strong on our visit - all day long - he has to eat, he has to drink. And even called my husband got a call from her recently and she went on and on about how he had to eat - as if he's not! So its not just strangers who butt their noses in. But friends and family. Hope your holidays are going well.
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
5 Nov 07
It amazes me how some people feel that they have the right to put their two cents in when the matter has nothing to do with them. The girl wasn't her child - what right did she have to try to tell you how to parent her? I don't understand it at all. It seems so incredibly rude. I'm sorry that you had to deal with it! I wouldn't have known what to say to her.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 07
there are people who just walk around in this world thinking they are more superior and that their way is always better and i cant stand that everyone has different techniques and thats the way it just is , i dont mind friends or family sahring their input not that i always follow it but they know me personally and know my child but a stranger that just down out right anonys me!
@lilash2 (52)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Yes I have been there with you! ANd i hate it when people come up from no where and try to tell you how to raise your kids. Its like they think they are perfect and i hate it. But you know what you get whatever you want for your little girl. Cause i feel that being potty trained is a really big step to kids, al lthey have ever known was to go in their pants, so for them to stop doing that, i think its awesome. And right now i am in the middle of potty training my son, so if you ahve any great tips, i would love to hear them, anything is worth trying, caus ei am getting no where here!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 07
im not sure how old your son is?? but with my son he wouldnt budge until he was nearly 4 and i tried everything under the sun and one day i said no what we are not leaving this house until you are potty trained so we stayed indoors for 3 days during the nice summer days and that was that at first he called my bluff wetting himself and what not and eventually he realized i meant business, however with my daughter i tried bribery, punishment,rewards etc adn nothing worked and one day she saw that dora and begged me for it and i said well if you go on the potty its yours so we went over to buy some big girl undies ,we picked out a princess potty cahir and i was so nervous i had her try every 10 min lol she was so annoyed eventually she decided she would tell me when she had to go so i didnt keep interrupting her! good luck to you , all i can say is stick with it and eventually he'll get it!!
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
5 Nov 07
It was none of the woman's business and she was out of line saying that. She should have kept her mouth shut and went on her way. I usually avoid strangers getting into my business if at all possible. I have had "friends" judge me on things that they were not apart of and felt they were above me even though nobody is perfect. This lady though should mind her own business. You were not doing anyone else harm and it was between you and your daughter.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 07
exactly, and if a friend were to say something to me i would understand that a little more than a stranger for a friend would know my finacial situiation a little better know my daughter adn what not but a complete stranger i would never think of butting in and putting my 2 sense in something i had no business being apart of! thanks for your input
• United States
5 Nov 07
That is extreemly rude and I can't believe she would say those things too you! She has absolutly NO right, it isn't her business! I have never had an encounter like this, but I would be really mad if I did! I guess that rude lady is lucky the other one stepped in to defend you, or she might have gone home with a black eye! Which she would have deserved! lol. I know that some parents love to give kids presents when they do something good! And potty training is def. an important matter. That other lady was right, who WANTS to change diapers?
• United States
6 Nov 07
Thank you for your input!! and your right thank goodness the other lady stepped in because she was really making my blood boil. and let me tell you chagning diapers isnt so bad but once they hit nearly 3 it because quite a task !
• United States
5 Nov 07
the nerve of some people! i would have been very very mad and then of course given her chewing out up one side and down the other about the fact that apparantly her mother never taught her proper manners and how NOT to be a snobbish rude nosy b*tch!! why is it that ppl feel they need to butt into other ppl's business? i can see butting your nose in if the child is being abused or something like that of course, but to feel the need to question you and put her 2 cents in on something like a toy/and potty training?? the lady had pretty big ones i guess...
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 07
right!!! all i could think was what kind of example are you seeting for your child?? people just amaze me lately i still an irriated over the whole thing. but oh well its over and done with but next time you can bet your butt i wont be so tongue tied
@caf48180 (281)
• United States
13 Nov 07
wow I think someone was just having a bad day I hope because really that is just way over the line. Maybe she lost he job or was not potty trained herself so she was wonder what her prize should be but really I am beside myself on this one as to why some people feel that they should raise the whole world themselfs. I think that is what makes people great is that we were all brought up different and make different choices in are lifes and everyones storys are different and for her to talk to a stranger like that...come on. She is lucky she dont live in the projects talking to people like that gets you on the news that night if you know what i mean.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Well Princessmom, some people think they are god of things (like parenting, children, and other things but I'll stick to subject). Its best to just ignore them completely. If they have no idea who you are and what your situation is, what good is their assessment of you and ascertainment of what you are supposed to do? Its foolish.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
How rude! That woman had no right to question you and your reward for your daughter. It's good that you rewarded your daughter because you promised her the doll if she got potty trained, and she did. That other woman had some nerve! It's sad that there are people like that who go around minding other people's business and butting in. Tsk, tsk.
1 person likes this
• Australia
5 Nov 07
Some people just think you should know their opinion on everything. I wouldn't worry about it their just old nasty women who think they know better. I've been yelled a few times by women for not saying excuse me when I pass them in an aile. I mean there was enough room to pass an elephant with but I still had to say excuse me. I now make it a point not to say it and ask them why should I say it? Most of them just walk off thinking how rude I am. I really don't care though.
1 person likes this
@speedy1279 (2667)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Wow, what nerve of that lady. I'm with you. I would have hit her square in the jaw and told her to mind her own business. Some people can be so nosey and like to stick thier nose into other's business. I for one can't stand it. Just the other day on Friday (only two days after Halloween) I had an old lady try to give my kids lollie pops. I was at the doctors office waiting for my son to be seen for his ear infection. This lady had walked in while my kids were playing with the toys. Well my kids ended up getting into trouble fighting over some toys. So I made them stop and come sit down by me. My kids were sitting there just fine. Not whining or crying. This lady gets up goes through the door to the back and then comes back out with two lollie pops. She goes to hand them to my kids without asking me if they can have them. I politly tell her they can't have them because they haven't been good. At this time the nurse comes out and calls my son's name and I stand up to take him to the back. She then says to me, "Why don't you hold on to them for later?". I was outraged. Here I just told the lady I don't want my kids having them, yet she wants to be presistent in them getting them. Now before I go any further in this story, let me explain something. My kids always get lollie pops at the doctors office but not until the end of the visit as we are walking out the door. Anyways, back to the story. So I tell the lady that's okay, they have plenty of candy at home from Halloween and start to walk to the back. As I am walking off I hear the lady say, "So much for trying to be nice!". At that moment I was so ready to turn around and put this lady in her place. But I didn't because I didn't want to make a scene in the doctors office. She really ticked me off. I mean, It would have been different if my kids had been being good and she asked me first if they could have them. I probably would have said "yes" and just told the lady I would hold on to them until the end of the visit because that is when they get the lollie pops. But this lady wanted to just give them the candy without asking me and fully seeing they had been bad. Come on!!! You don't give kids that have just got into trouble candy.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25889)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
oh i hear ya! people just seem to like to but their noses in where they don't belong, don't they? what (if anything) did you say to this lady? i hope you gave her 'what for'!
1 person likes this