Good husband but worst mother-in-law....what to do ?????
November 8, 2007 10:00am CST
I got married in june 2004. Before marriage, i had some dreams. I thought i will create some good and longlasting relations with in-laws. My father always taught me to develop good relations with in-laws. Initially i tried for the same but it never happened. Before my marriage my mother-in-law pretended as a good woman in this whole world but after marriage she came in her real role. She never loved my husband also but he didn't know this or may be he has this feeling but doesn't want to show me. when my husband was small she used to beat him with stick untill it breaks. Once she used one very bad word for my husband. She is fond of money & when my husband started earning money, she started treating him well.She spolied all her in-laws relationship also. My father-in-law also had broken the relationship with his real sister. It seems she is the boss and controlling everyone and wants to control her daughter-in-law. I never thought of it. After marriage she used to give me mental tensions by putting my father & mother's name in between in front of one of her friend over phone. That time I thought must be my mistake only. But after some time slowly-slowly she did some mischiefs with me,which i couldn't tolerate. I started hating her. Every time she used to fight or argue with me purposely. It seems she is interested in fighting and she feels happy in that. She creates such a bad environment every where. I thought she is doing with me only but one day i got it that the same thing she is doing with my husband's elder brother's wife also. In my husband's family nobody says anything to her since beginning and i think bcoz of this reason she is sitting on our head. She used to insult me whenever she wants. One day when i got sick she got angry on me. In that situation also she used to give me lot of work. I did but never utter any word from my mouth. That time my husband was not there. She doesn't stay with me but still gave so much of trouble. One day me and my husband went to my mothers place in that also she got angry bcoz she doesn't want her son to go to his in-laws place. She wanted to control me. I struggled a lot for 3 years and at last i decided to say something against this. One day she phoned me and started shouting on me and as usual put my mothers name in between, i couldn't tolerate this and now this time i started shouted on her. That day i gave her a nice dose and clearly told her not to put my parents name in between. After that she was shocked as 1st time after marriage i spoke for me and it happened 6 months back. But i don't want to talk with her and don't want to meet her. My husband understands my problem and supported me a lot but he is telling me don't break the relations like this. He wants me Go to in-laws place and come back with him. I m confused whether to go or not bcoz i hate that lady who gave me trouble and i can't forget all the things happened with me. I can't forgive her in my whole life. What to do? I think i should go and come back with my husband. What you people think of it.....If again she does the same, then i should say something in front of everyone. Just simply can i give her police-threat?
8 Nov 07
Sorry to hear about your predicament with your in laws. I have heard many horror stories about in laws and I know they are mostly true. I am not sure how to advice you but if I were you , I would try to stay as far away as I could from them. The only problem is whether my spouse would agree to that or not. As for me, I am very lucky to have a great wife that comes with great in laws as well. My in laws treat me like any of their children and my mother treats my wife the same way too. I hope that things would get better for you and you can find happiness in your life. Please don't give up trying.
8 Nov 07
I want to stay as far as i could from them but i have to think about my spouse also.he is supportive , no problem for me after all he is a nice person as a husband. But i don't want him to be pressurised by his parents. He knows how are they? but still he wants to go there. I can't understand this. May be he doesn't want to break relations as he is a good person and they are his parents. But he told me if he will get chance, he will ask her mother why she did like this with me. Thanks for your response. Its a part of game and life.
• United States
9 Nov 07
this woman sounds like a tyrant and by all means defend yourself and your family to her. Do not sit back and let her walk all over you! Yes you should stick with your husband and not let this lady get in the middle of your relationship with him. Likewise he should be standing up to his mothe and demanding she treat you with respect or you both should keep your distance.
9 Nov 07
Sorry to hear the way ur in law behaves with you, as you said may be she is like that by nature just tyring to dominate evryone and be on their heads..But i feel its not good to break a relationship so go with your husband when he goes there try spending very less time and return back as soon as possible.One more thing i would like to say is enough of tolerance you have shown her in the past and it really makes no sense if you r tolerant any more.If she is behaving rude or trying to dominate or insult you dnt keep quite just give her back what ever she deserves for it.Things can only come to an end if you give her back shots in the correct time.Its lucky that your husband supports you because in some homes the case is also the other way round.Anyway All the best.
9 Nov 07
Well,sorry to hear that you have to suffer too much from your mother in law. I totally understand your feelings. That's sth really annoying cause it not only breaks the relationship with your in-laws but may also cause the problem between you and your husband. Why did your mother in law always mention your parents? You should tell her that's not respectful for your parents. Can you talk very openly about your problems? Can that be a way to solve the fightings? Well,if you can't get along with her in any ways,then just live separately and if possible,go to see them with your husband sometimes. Maybe one day she'll understand you better and be touched by your actions:) Hopefully you'll doing fine later. Have a good day!