Can you really blame someone else for a suicide?

United States
November 20, 2007 12:03am CST
I just read this article on MSN about a 13 yo girl in Missouri who killed herself after a myspace hoax collaborated by an ex-friend of hers and the friends mother. Heres the article: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21882976/?GT1=10547 I sort of have mixed feelings on this. I mean can you really blame someone else for a suicide? The girl who killed herself, Megan, was already depressed, and battling ADD and a weight problem at 13. Thats a tough age anyway, especially about peers and boys. I just think there was more going on there, and while this might have influenced Megan, was it really the fault of this myspace hoax as her parents claim? I do however, think that the mother of the ex-friend was a bit childish in conjuring up this "pay back" to Megan by making up a boy, Josh Evans and making it appear that he "liked" her. The police say that there is nothing criminal in what she did. I think some sort of justice should be served by the simple fact that this woman purposely targeted Megan and played with her mind like that. But is she really responsible for what Megan chose to do afterwards? Do you think suicide is the sole responsiblity of the person comitting it? Who would you blame? Bay Lay Gray xx
9 people like this
11 responses
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
20 Nov 07
hmmm I think people can be pushed so to speak, playing with peoples mind, people should have more sensitivity and stop bringing pain to people, in todays world people do not need negativity thrown at them in a public way just maybe some people can not handle this, I don't think you can blame anyone else 100% but you can shake a finger of shame at someone for doing what they have done...hopefully what goes around comes around...
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Lila, Your right here, it sure doesnt help when negativity and embarassment is public, espeically at that age. Im sad that she chose to take her own life, but I dont think that the owner of the hoax is the only one to blame here. I think her parents should have stepped up more and put the myspace off limits, not just monitor it. She was underage for that forum, so they lied to let her have the space. Your supposed to be 15. I truly believe that what comes around goes around, and the mother of the hoax and the ex-friend will get theirs. Im sure not soon enough though. Bay xx
3 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 07
while i think that the hoax was incredibly dumb and childish, i'm pretty sure that the people involved with it didn't expect it to end this way. there's no use in blaming them because they didn't cause it. myspace didn't cause it. the girl did it - obviously because she had a lot of struggles. it's the same as parents blaming music, television, and movies for their childrens actions today. it's not the media. it's not myspace.
3 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi xleslieanne, Yes I agree with you. There was more there. Im not saying it didnt fuel the fire already burning, but its not to blame. I agree also that the mother of the hoax didnt expect or mean this to happen. I can understand the hurt and pain of Megans parents, but Megan was depressed way before "Josh" showed an interest in her on myspace. Yeah I was wondering why they were trying to get a hold of myspace for comment, they are the ones that didnt follow the rules for the community. Megan wasnt old enough, so her parents allowed her to lie to get it. Bay xx
3 people like this
@loolets2 (106)
• United States
20 Nov 07
It may not be the main reason it happened. But, it may have been the last button. You only have so many buttons that can be pressed before you just snap. So I really think it might have been her fault. She was already going through a hard time and for someone to do this to her? That's just awful. I am really upset for her.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 07
You really cannot blame another person for that one person who committed suiside, you can, however, say that that person made that situation worse by not being helping out the person who committed suiside and by dragging said person's self-esteem down.
2 people like this
20 Nov 07
I think they should be named and shamed. What a sick and twisted thing for a grown woman to do. What kind of lessons was she trying to teach her daughter? I think child services should be involved as there is something wrong in a grown woman not only trying to emotional hurt a 13 year old child but also getting her daughter help her in this act. Something is very wrong in this.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Mugglegirl, You made some VERY good points here. That was a pretty sick and twisted thing to do. Even though I really dont think the intention of the hoax was for anyone to kill themself. Im sure the mother didnt wish for that to happen. She certainly didnt teach her child anything at all. I think she might have mental issues of her own really. And very good idea, child services should be notified. They should look into the mental health of the woman who started this. Bay xx
3 people like this
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
20 Nov 07
I don't think the mother of the ex friend was after that result so she doesn't deserve to be punished for that. I imagine the guilt that her actions possible pushed this girl over the edge will be punishment enough. in the story it said she made up this josh evans in order to see what the girl was saying about her daughter on the internet. Its sad that this girl killed herself, but I think the josh evans thing wasn't entirely to blame...like you said, its a rough age.
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Ravin, Yeah this story had a some loops in it. Thats whats making me have mixed feelings really. I dont think the Megans mother should have left her home alone that day. She was obviously online when she wasnt supposed to be cos she called her mom and was telling her of the bulletins on myspace and what they said about her. And she said she was upset at her daughter for the language she used to respond back. I agree, the mother of the hoax Im sure wasnt looking for this to be the outcome. I do think she should feel a little more remorseful though, the article said she really didnt seem effected by it. I would feel horrible!!!!! But then again, I would never encourage that type of behavior, I would have left it alone. Kids talk, teens talk, adults talk about people that they are upset about. Its life. Bay xx
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22146)
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Bay I also have mixed feelings about that. I think its really so sad for that poor girl. I dont know if she was being treated for her depression but she should have. The thing with these teenagers they do this on a whim they dont think it out and I dont think they realize they arent coming back to us. Its just so sad.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Terry, It is sad. Very sad. I wish she would have talked to someone instead of taking her life. I just cant help but feel that Megans parents are partly responsible for this. They said they strictly montiored her usage, but the day of the nasty messages she called her mom at the orthodontists to tell her about them. She was home alone, on myspace. They said she couldnt log in without them, well she did, or she was told to log off and didnt. Do you think that might have prevented this from happening? Had she followed the rules and waited til her mother or father were home to log in? I would have made her go with me that day, not leave her at home when she knew she was feeling down about things. Bay xx
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22146)
• United States
20 Nov 07
Yes I wouldnt have left her alone either. It might had protected her against from doing what she did. But you know what it would happened at another time. Thats what I think.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 07
Yeah it could have, but I sure would have kept a closer eye on her. Even though they said she was happy and upbeat previously, I still would have kept a closer eye on her.
2 people like this
@laurika (4537)
• United States
26 Nov 07
I have seen this story on tv and it was really sad. I was really sorry for paretns, I am sure it have to be hard for them. If I would blame someone, I would probably blame myself, for not being able to be enough with my daughter or know what is going on in her head, what she feel or how she feel like.I would blame myself to not be enough careful and that i din't check my daughter enough online. But also there are other people who should be blame and this looks like they were playing with 13 years old girl feeling, what is not right to me. I guess we can blame anyone, but it is not gonna brings the girl life.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 07
Hi Laurika, Thats how I feel too, I mean its like they are feeling guilty and they dont want to admit it might have been partly their fault too. Your right its not going to bring her back. And the woman who did this, needs some serious therapy. I could understand another teen doing it, but an adult was just insane. Bay xx
@laurika (4537)
• United States
26 Nov 07
You are so right, also I don't understand how the person dare to write them letter and says she doesn't feel responsible for what she did.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15002)
• United States
23 Nov 07
I feel that the person left out of the equation here is the ex-friend, who probably feels responsible now for what her mother did and for what happened to here friend. Her mother's meddling certainly scarred her life as well, and it is hard to fathom how a mother could act so childishly, and if she did have enough reverence for the life of the girl her deranged mind saw as an enemy, at least she should have thought of the consequences her actions might have on her own daughter, whom she presumably loved. This will bring howls of protest, no doubt, but I think that 13 years old is too young to be allowed to play on MySpace and especially unsupervised.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Nov 07
I agree with you that she was too young to be playing around on myspace, supervised or not. She was messed up before the myspace incident, else she wouldnt have been treated for depression or ADD. Her parents failed her more than anything I think. I do think it was messed up what the lady did, but she didnt make the girl kill herself. It wont bring too much protest, no one really wants to dispute anything. lol They said what they had to say then left it alone. No worries! hehe Bay xx
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Nov 07
This was just on the morning show the other day. This girl had depression problems and was an anti depressants. So yea in this circumstance I think it is the fault of this mother who played the hoax on her. I know it was more than than the one mother doing it but she knew of this girls problems. I think she should be held responsible on some counts. There is also that federal law. The internet bully law and it;s being said that these people will fall under this category. It's really ashame how some people can fall into the whole internet like that.
1 person likes this
@cait89 (31)
• United States
20 Nov 07
Honestly I think it was SO incredibly cruel for the girl and her mother to do that..especially the mom, shouldn't she be a little more mature than that? I guess legally it isn't their fault... and the article said that Megan suffered from depression previously..I have mixed feelings. Either way I definitely think it was wrong.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hi Cait, Yeah I think she should have been more mature than that and just left things alone. So what, teens lose friends everyday, its part of life. I cant imagine a falling out between friends to even go that far really. Yeah I have mixed feelings too, simply because they said they monitored her usage but the day she saw the messages her mother left her home alone, knowing she was upset, and then got calls from her saying the messages on myspace were really nasty and upsetting her more. Why didnt she take her daughter with her that day? Why did she leave her home alone? Thats what I dont understand. But still, it was wrong to publicly humiliate her like that and make fun of her. With out without the depression and ADD. Bay xx
3 people like this