The Mom Ordeal (Sorry, new and trying to figure out how to work this)
@Shooting4Stars (3)
United States
November 20, 2007 12:56pm CST
My boyfriend is 29 years old, we've been dating for close to a year now and I recently moved in with him and his mom. Well, we keep talking about getting our own place but it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere except talking. His mom has so many bad habbits that she's dumping on us, mainly spending problems. She never seems to have money to pay the rent, or utilities. Already once this year the hot water was off, and trust me... taking a cold shower in the cold is HORRIBLE! We have no cable, no internet, and no phone connection either because she hasn't paid it in months. Also, I just happened to notice in the mail a letter from the place she's renting to buy, that this is the TENTH time she's missed a payment! I want OUT of there so badly. My boyfriend works the morning shift, his mom the night, so I'm often stuck at home in the mornings with his mom and that is majorly AWKWARD for me. She just always seems to have this mean look on her face and just a harsh over tone... but when my boyfriend is around she gets all laughing and stuff and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel she just plain out does not like me. He keeps telling me he wants to move out, but he keeps letting his mom slow him down. I don't ever want to come between him or his mother, but I'm to the point I want to say he needs to pick one or the other, because really, I do not want to share him with his mom when we've been dating for so long and are talking about starting a life on our own. What should I do??????
1 person likes this
4 responses
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Since you just moved in recently I think it's natural to feel awkward. After all, you still don't know each other that well. Give it time. Some great friendships start out as enemies. And keep in mind, if everything goes well with you and your boyfriend, some day she will be your mother-in-law and grandmother of your children. You might as well get used to her.
@Shooting4Stars (3)
• United States
21 Nov 07
I suppose that is true. I am, and have, always tried to be nice to her. It's not right to be mean just cause someone else is in my opinion.
I have talked to him recently about the mom thing. He understands how I feel, and he said he's going to try a bit harder to stand up against her so he can be his own person. He wants to stay with me, and he said he's worried that this will cause me to leave and that's not what he wants.
Thanks for the comments. It really helps getting advice from others when I'm really confused on what to do.
@garnet80 (349)
• Australia
28 Nov 07
You do need to get out into a house of your own. He should respect your feelings. If he won't move within a certain amount of time I'd assume that he is a Mummy's boy and is happy being tied to her. Explain to him maybe that if you stay there and keep giving her money that you both will never have any money to do anything. Reality is that it's usually the parents that help the kids out not the other way around.
@Raymo23 (463)
• Uganda
20 Nov 07
At least you can console yourself by knowing that it is not you who has made her act like that.
Try being nice to her, and become friends with her. Maybe she will change her attitude against you, and I don't think your indignant behavior is helping you. Never know you might talk to her, and make her listen when you are friends.
Bottom lines is-do not be mean to her because she is mean to you. Instead, win her over with love, hard work and pleasantness.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
20 Nov 07
Make up your mind! Do you love the guy enough to love his mom too?
If you don't, then its time to tell your Boyfriend that you have had enough. If he doesn't move with you, then you will have to leave by yourself. You are right! He needs to make a choice and do it Now! Good luck and God Bless!
