No Communication at All
November 23, 2007 12:22pm CST
It's weird, my eldest brother and his wife arrived home quite late. I opened the door for them and I never uttered a word. The things is I have been silent for the past few days. I just came back from a 4-day workshop, and the other day, we never really had time to talk. When they arrived tonight, I was uncomfortable opening up a certain topic or something. I did not try to reach out. And I am scared that this will end up ignoring each other.:( I am sad. This worries me because I know I am capable of merely ignoring people around. I mean, i can be the biatchiest girl in this world. My eldest brother, manoy as I call him, has things going on in his mind. I mean, for months now, he has been thinking of ways to earn lots of money... and I have reservations on this because he tends to neglect the fact that the people around them could feel the pressure. he said he is doing the business thing because he wanted to give his son a better life. It's really hard to explain. I have issues with manoy, like at home, he seems messy and this really pisses me off because I am a bit OC. Sigh. It's ok to run after money, but please maintain the order at home. Anyways, they went home without their car because the car got stuck somewhere. I do not be hostile to them. :( I am sad because I know I am being hostile and that kinda suck. Sigh. I just have to say this.
30 Nov 07
I know. The thing is, partly I share the maintenance of this house (I mean, I am renting with my aunt). So, my brother and his family would come to visit (and not just visit I guess). I tried imposing rules like "don't mess around this area" and stuff. Grr. But, there, I tend to be frustrated and disappointed because they do not seem to see want I want to try to tell them. Thus, I refuse to communicate at times.
30 Nov 07
hahaha. i know what this is. it's a matter of perception and because you seem to be a bit of a perfectionist, gathering from what you say here.. take a deep breath and... there are things that you have to let go of. :D let go. :D enjoy your brother and his wife's company; don't let little things like mini-messes get to you ;)
4 Dec 07
Your talking rather staying quiet would help your brother, talking to him and opening would give you the much needed opportunity to tell him some important advise that could improve his thinking let alone his obsession with the money chess at the expense of everything
27 Nov 07
it is good that you have realised your nature. it is sometimes better to keep mm than utter words which can lead to fight. i always try to speak a little abiout other's matters as i think they are mature enogh to solve them.so its better to keep mum.
25 Nov 07
I think its good that you recognize this tendency in yourself. Unfortunatly you can not control anything your brother does, but you can take some action with your behaviours. Maybe here is a good place to write down things that you know you do...and then next to that..write down ways that you know you are able to change that. Even if it doesn't make a difference in him, you know that you are making an effort to improve yourself. :)
26 Nov 07
Thank you. I will try to do it. I mean, I am also torn between really writing my thoughts and doing it. I always believe that actions speak louder than words. And I will try to really do every effort I make in action. Sigh. This is weird. Early this morning I have really been disappointed and frustrated, and I realized it was basically because I have not really connected with him for the past few weeks. And the feeling is like eating me up. SIGH. I left the house without really saying goodbye knowing they are leaving for the province, but I did call them this morning to tell them to take care. :) I just want to take this "evil" thing out of me now. SIGH.