Too much stress!

@patgalca (13886)
Orangeville, Ontario
November 29, 2007 11:00pm CST
Instead of trying to figure out what to cook for dinner tonight, I spent part of the day discussing finances with my husband - should he or shouldn't he get his van up and running? I also had to run out and pick up a few things. Because of this there was no dinner prepared. What did my 14 year old do? She took off! That's right, she got so mad that she left the house and said she would see us tomorrow. Okay, it's bloody cold outside. She received a coupon for a free pizza from the newspaper she delivers for. The pizza restaurant is all the way over at the other end of town. I drove around for an hour looking for her, asking people if they had seen her, pretty much embarrassed myself (and probably my daughter). Then I came home and started calling all her friends. I was really freaked out. She was gone for 2 hours! I never saw her walking on the street at all, and I had my 11yo daughter with me keeping her eyes peeled. When she came home and I asked her where she had been she just yelled at me, "What do you care?" She was fed up with the fact there was never any food in the house, which isn't true. You just have to put something together yourself. She was sick of Kraft Dinner. She went to McDonald's for dinner. Well! If she had a stupid chicken wrap, all the makings for one of those is in this house. I purposely bought all those things so that they could make their own chicken snack wraps. It took me a couple of hours to stop shaking. My 11yo daughter hugged me and swore she would never do that to me. 14yo DD is probably going to be facing a lot of questions from friends at school tomorrow since I managed to call 7 or 8 of them before she walked in the door. Then I'll probably get another yelling at when she gets home from school. Ah teenagers! Dang! I was never like this. Then DH takes off to visit his alcoholic friend... in MY van. I phoned him and told him that I was still shaking and it was all this anxiety that they all caused me that was making me sick all the time. He didn't deny that. Now you know why I just feel like running away from home sometimes. Oh yeah, that's what my daughter did and it scared the friggin' cr*p out of me! Best make sure I have a nice meal planned for tomorrow night. Oh, and believe it or not, my own mother has suggested I go on strike (as have a lot of other people). Probably not a good idea after all. *sigh*
2 people like this
4 responses
@rx4life (1935)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Personally....I would strike....a 14 yo should be able to put a meal together for everyone if she wanted to be part of the solution as opposed to being part of the problem!!! I think teenagers today are too pampered and don't have enough respect for the lives and needs of others!!! I'm certainly not saying that your daughter is that way...only saying that if she truly wanted to eat and that was the real intent..then she should have tried to help out..she probably says she wants to be treated more like an adult...but when the tough questions are asked or the situation presents with a challenge she seemed to respond more in line with the age of a VERY young child...slam the door and run off to pout... In my house my kids have to treat everyone with respect or they get none themselves... I wish your daughter could see how easy life could be for all if she would pull her weight!!! Best to you, friend...you deserve a break!!!
@Fishmomma (11505)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I agree with you and think teenagers today have life easy. When I was a teenager, I was expected to make dinner once a week and wash laundry plus all my outdoor chores. The nearest Bob's Burgers was 30 miles away and it was for special occasions. My brothers and I would pick up dinner there once a month and bring it home for the entire family.
@Fishmomma (11505)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I would go on strike and you are likely to see a change in your house. My husband made meals for our daughter and himself when I did it many years ago. I insisted that I should be thanked for my time and that I receive a raise. My husband and daughter were using plastic forks and paper plates for a week before deciding they could no longer live with all the dirt and the piles of unwashed clothes. My daughter learned how to use the washing machine and does her own laundry most of the time. She even makes meals. Your oldest daughter should start doing some of these tasks, as in a few years she will have to do them herself. I know its hard to get a teenager to follow the rules, but if they want us to give them more responsibility, then they must act like they are ready to be treated like they are ready to be a young adult.
@patgalca (13886)
• Orangeville, Ontario
30 Nov 07
Both my daughters have been known to fend for themselves. DD was just po'd because she wanted to go for pizza and we said no. Sure, she was getting a free pizza but we couldn't afford to go out as a family. I won't go on strike though. I don't cook dinners often enough (a couple of times a week) mainly because I can't think of what to do. Guess I better get my head back in the game. They always say thank you when I put their dinner in front of them. Obviously, going on strike is not the answer for me.
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
Hi patgalca! I am so sorry to hear that. I have just able to catch up on this discussion because i only have few free time this days and it was 4 days since you have posted this. I guess i have a lot of catching up to do. Anyway, i hope you are feeling much better now and not stressed out. I guess, everyone that i know are having difficult times with their teenagers. I guess teenagers nowadays are very very different from the way we used to be. And i am tempted to tell you the same thing your mother have suggested earlier. haha..But you are right it is not a good idea. Much better if you just talk to them and tell them you don't deserve the yelling and the talking back. because if that is the way they are going to talk to you, you will give them the same treatment. I hope that works! But i am no expert, just my thoughts my friend. Take care and have a nice day. :)
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Ummm no offence but your daughter is old enough to make her own dinner or dinner for everyone else. Why are you relied upon to do this for your family ALL the time? I vote you go on strike Pat - if your daughter is going to act out and have everyone feel sorry for her then so be it. I can't believe the way your husband and your daughter are treating you and it seems they don't CARE for you (sorry to be so harsh). Aargh makes me very angry when I see teenagers act up like this and put added stress on their parent/s. You need a vacation, on your own and away from them ALL. Lets see how they survive without you!!!!