Do you try to keep your parents memory alive?
December 5, 2007 4:18pm CST
The holidays are a difficult time for me because my parents and grandparents are deceased. I love the holidays and always make it special for my kids as much as possible. The one thing I try to do is keep my parents memory alive by showing them pictures and sharing childhood memories with them. My friends and husband think that I shouldnt dwell on the past and that I shouldnt even mention it to the kids. My husbands family thinks I am nuts because my kids wouldnt understand period. My nine year old daughter Erica was lucky enough to know my mom before she died. So Erica and I were talking about her the other day and my other kids wanted to join in on the conversation. They love to hear the stories about mommy and look at all of mommies pictures. I have explained to them about my parents and they may not totally understand but I want them to know about my family and my family history. My husband doesnt understand why I get a little depressed over the holidays and he says I need to get over it and go on with my life. But I think my kids have a right to know who their grandparents were and it shouldnt matter that they are deceased. Until my husband loses a family member he doesnt understand the way I feel. There will always be something missing in my life which is my family but that doesnt mean I wont let my familys memories die just because they are no longer living. I believe my kids have a right to know who my family was and where their mom came from. Am I being cruel to my kids because I talk about their grandparents they will never get to meet?
• United States
6 Dec 07
There's not a thing wrong with trying to keep your parents memory alive. Think of it as an oral geneology...keeping your roots alive. I never met either one of my grandfathers, they passed on before I was born. Through my grandmothers, I learned what wonderful people they were, and I always felt bad that I never got to meet them. But the connection that my grandmothers made served an important purpose, it gave me an understanding of my roots, and a continuity of my family. My kids and grandkids know of my parents and grandparents through family albums, and through photo albums of Christmasses past and other holidays. I don't think it's cruel at all! Personally, I grew up on a dairy farm, and have written stories (memories) of my life growing up there, and memories of things that my grandmothers have passed down. The family members all seem to enjoy reading about them, and feel a closer connection. It's a shame your husband doesn't understand, but I have a hunch that maybe one day he will. Don't think of it as dwelling on the past, think of it as preserving fond memories of people we loved.