This sucks!

@tiffiny (872)
United States
December 10, 2007 11:21pm CST
Ok so this is another vent session. Just want to see how many other wives have to hold on just alittle longer and why. I am constantly waitting for a good time to start my life. We are always in some sort of transition period with my husband being in the military. I've finally gotten ahold of what I think is my calling in life. I really want to be a massage therapist. And I got the information for the school ect. We can't afford tuition even if we took out a loan and probibly wouldn't be approved for a loan either. So I get patted on the head and told hold on just a little longer. I'm so sick of being nothing. I'm the mom and I know that with out me this whole house and everyone in it would come to a crashing hault but some times I want to be like what about me?! Please don't tell me what I should do I just want to hear if you had to face this and what's your story. How did you finally get what you wanted out of life?
2 people like this
6 responses
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
11 Dec 07
i know you said you didn't want to hear what you should do...but there are ways you could still do it without spending much money... 1. take a community college course for the necessary licensing etc... 2. Find local shop and ask if you can get hired - even as a part-time receptionist...this will help you decide if its what you really want to do (a lot of people think they know, but once you do it, you start to hate it, i've had this happen on just about every job) you will learn a lot...some might be willing to take you on as a volunteer - could then use this as experience for paid position... the key to getting what you want out of life is to do it. wishing, hoping, thinking...doesn't achieve results in most cases...be creative in getting there. forget about what seems easy or impossible...
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Thank you for not listening to me! I never even thought about asking for a volunter spot to learn. You're smart!! I was being a big baby last night. Lol But that you.
1 person likes this
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
11 Dec 07
That last one was supposed to be thank you lol
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
11 Dec 07
hey, everybody gets those moments...the key is to not get sucked up by them! good luck!!
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6907)
• United States
12 Dec 07
Sounds like me! I got sick of being nothing too- everyone told me that being a mom was the most important thing- well I would like to be a role model to them and how can I teach them about education if I'm not educated myself. Here's what I did and still do: I have 2 kids- 1 in school half a day and 1 not! I applied for federal financial aid right online and got enough money to go to a 26,000 a year private school- they also pay for my son and daughter to be at school with me in their day care. Most schools have financial aid- just do your research- many times they will also have loans that you can repay after you graduate and they usually won't turn you down for those- they also have job placement! I thought before I went in how can I do this with 2 kids and my man works overnight and after trying several outlets this is the way it panned out for me. I went from thinking about going to a Community College to actively involved in a 4 yr. program- I started in nursing but have changed to pre-med or if I can't go to med school- Physician Assistant same undergrad classes as pre med! So don't think you can't do it, don't let people tell you- "oh your something, your a mom" and don't give up. Being a mom is a really important hard job but for some people myself included it doesn't do much for self esteem or planning for the future. My man is a cop if something happened to him what would I do? My son would get his pension but who knows how far that would go and it's supposed to be used for college for him. You need as a woman in the event something should happen, to be able to support yourself for security in the future! Good luck to you!
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
12 Dec 07
See that's the thing too you know. I want something in the event that I'm hung out there on my own. But I've come full circle giving it a day to cool down and I'm working from home doing diffrent things and when we move I'm hopefully going to get a job at a day care for the church. And all that money we are going to put away jsut for me to go to school and do what I want/need to do. I've been the stay at home mom for almost four years now. I just want something to call all my own. But I know that I will have it sooner or later. (I'm one of those people that I may be down but not out and not for long. The glass is always half full and getting fuller)
@missybal (4492)
• United States
12 Dec 07
I know what you mean. I'm a military wife too and the military seems to force you to put a whole bunch of things on hold. Mostly for us it's because of deployments. I know how you feel about the education part because I can't do mine because it would be too hard for both my husband and I to do collage at the same time and it's more important for him to get it because he needs it to be able to become an officer. For me I really don't need it for a job, just wanted to do it. But sometimes you have to do what you must for the survival of the family. I don't think we ever get all we want out of life but we learn to change or desires to what we can get. I tend to keep my expectations low so I am never disappointed. It works for me. As a military wife I'm sure you've noticed you can't always get what you want because you are simply glue. You are the glue that holds the family together and being glue is a fulltime job. You make the majority of the sacrifices and tend to be on your own a lot. Even your husband gets the whole squadron on his side. Go ahead and vent because it's good to get it out in the open. We're here to lend an ear.
1 person likes this
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
12 Dec 07
Thank you for knowing just knowing exactly what I am feeling. Thanks for responding.
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
11 Dec 07
A wise man once said that life is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans! Don't sell yourself short; you aren't "nothing." Being a mom is the most demanding and important job that God ever created! I spent 25 years doing factory work, helping my husband to support my own son and three stepchildren. It wasn't what I wanted to do, put it paid good money and put a roof over our heads. When the factory shut down, I became self-employed, selling second-hand merchandise I got from storage unit auctions. Then about a year ago, I started writing again. When I was younger I had considered being a journalist, and I've always loved to write. Now that I'm home all day, though, the family seems to take it for granted that I have all this free time to serve them as babysitter and errand girl. I don't mind doing things for my family, and I don't think they realize how important it is to me to have the time I need to write, but I know that the good Lord is giving me the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of my loved ones. I KNOW their world would come to a crashing halt if something happened to me!!! And sometimes I wonder too, what about me? I have had many small accomplishments as a writer, and look forward to a successful future. Just hang in there and realize that you are an important person, whether you are living your dream or not.
1 person likes this
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I love that quote that life's what's happens while we are making planns. I'm glad that you have been able to acomidate the time it takes to be a mom and run a good house and be a writer. That's amazing. You seem really positive so I know that you'll be really sucessful in your future endevors.
1 person likes this
@jazzygunz (178)
• United States
12 Dec 07
Congradulations!!!! i am so happy that youi finally found out what you really want to do and are interested in it. I think that in my opinion that is one of the hardest parts. Alot of people go to school for a degree but most of the time they dont know what they are getting themselves into so kudos. I am a college student and it is not easy. I dont have children but am thankful because it would have been even more impossible. maybe if you got other things in life together while you waited or spoke and got a job or intership with a massage therapist that would help you alot. I am not sure how long the course is but you could possibly get aid from the government. Well, those are just a few sugesstions. Good Luck!
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
11 Dec 07
sorry to hear that,me too i have so many things to do in mined specially if we talk about financial problems,i tried to explain my husband about what is good and what is best for us, coz if im not married and without kids i can go out and find a solution to my problems,but usually i find myself looking for the best solution.
1 person likes this