what kind of family member are you?

a family - a family with kids
@kylanie (1205)
United States
December 18, 2007 8:27pm CST
I know this family that their dad is in the nursing home and they hardly ever go and see him and then some do but others live in georgia and hardly ever come in they have no idea how long he will live but the point is that they have a few kids that live here in ky and 1 is just waiting until their dad dies and then move to Florida. I know that if it was my mom then I would try to be there every day or any member of my family I just wanted to know if you had the choice what would you do?
5 people like this
9 responses
19 Dec 07
That's a real tough one. Honestly, there's no way to judge unless I was that person in their exact shoes... I spent a few days in a nursing home during my stna classes and I cried so hard on my first day...after that I vouched to never put anyone in a nursing home (there ARE alternatives), and that I myself would never be in one...no matter what it takes. It's hard to say, though...some people may not have the resources, the time, or the finances...this is a really sensitive subject.
• China
19 Dec 07
Oh,how poor the dad!I will never leave my parents alone if anyone of them is badly sick.In China,if we do it like this,we will be condemned by other relatives.
3 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Dec 07
If it were family that had been kind to me, I would want to be there for them as much as humanly possible. As my family isn't like that, I don't see them. I talk to some of them on the phone occasionally, but I haven't visited in about 6 years now. They spent the first 18 years of my life abusing me, so I'm not going to spend the rest of my life taking care of them. Do you know this family's history?
2 people like this
@kylanie (1205)
• United States
19 Dec 07
yes I do the parents was always there for them more so the daughter in georgia.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Dec 07
*nods* I can understand you questioning the children's behavior then. If I had a family that had supported me, I would definitely be there for them!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13893)
• United States
19 Dec 07
wow, i don't know. i can't speak for other people but i know when my mother was ill in the hospital, i was there for her every single day. i mean you just don't know what people are thinking and why they do what they do
@eyewitness (1577)
• Netherlands
19 Dec 07
I'm also a person who wants to visit my mom or dad or whoever it is everyday. I have been through situations like these when i didn' t came everyday and i really regret it but i can make it up in the future like with my neighbour we also don't know how long he will live but we will visit him as much as we can.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
I wouldn't abandon my parents like that. They deserve better. I plan to take care of them as best as I can.
2 people like this
@cherriemae (3374)
• Philippines
20 Dec 07
in that case, even the mom really wanted to be there everyday it's impossible because of the distinations..but in here in our country, we still take care of the elders because that's our culture..even we have our own family, we still take care of our elder parents..it's different from you because it's difficult for you to do that...
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I remember the last time I went to see my grandmother, she was in the full care hospital section of the nursing home complex she and my grandfather lived in. She was asleep, she had had a severe stroke, and I was glad that I got to see her, and maybe even a bit relieved that she wasn't awake. She was sharing a room with another elderly woman, and she told me and my mother that her son was coming to take her home to Alabama (this was in Texas). My mom later told me that she was always saying that, but that he hadn't been to see her since she had been moved in there. I now live 1600 miles from my mom and dad, and they are getting older and not in perfect health, and we won't be there this Christmas, and I just pray that they will still be with us next Christmas. But if something happened, like having to move them to a nursing home, my sister would be there, and I would be there every chance, every minute that I could. That's been the hardest part of living this far away, not knowing if I'll have another chance to go back and see them. But, this Christmas, my daughters and my sister will be there, and my oldest daughter's husband, who is just back from Iraq. And I call them at least a few times a week, and I know that they know homw much I love them, and they know how happy I finally am, I have a wonderful man, and my dream job, working for the Forestry Service, which my dad told everyone he knew when I got hired on as a wildland firefighter lol he's my biggest fan. I don't understand people like that that don't care, I just never wanted to be one that had to think, I shoulda, I coulda, I woulda......
1 person likes this
@bicklelady (1411)
• United States
19 Dec 07
well no offence to anyone who has to put a loved one in a nursing home. But! please if you ever have to do that, Please don't forget about them. They are the ones that usually get treated badly. Not all nursing homes are that way, But I have worked in some humdingers. I am a living support specialist. When I go into a nursing home to work with a client, some of them feel like they have just been thrown away. I will do my best to keep my parents at there home. I will move in with them if I have to. I will scrape gum off side walks to pay someone to help me if I have to. I love my parents with all my heart. My parents sacraficed alot for me. I will do the same for them. To me that is what family is all about.