How did it go with your relationships over the holiday season?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
December 27, 2007 6:38pm CST
In the work David and I do as life coaches and group leaders we know special occasions and especially Christmas time can be challenging as well as rewarding. Family dynamics are always very evident during gatherings...and that is even more so if there is unresolved baggage thrown into the mix.
So I would be most interested in hearing how you made out with your family this year and if you are planning to bring in the new year with them or do something else. David and I do not have any extended family left. We know longer view 'family' as just the bonds we had within our families of origin. We have a group of people that we view as our 'soul family' and they are walking a similar path to us in the way we relate. The authenticity of how we communicate prevents emotional residue from building up and we do our best to resolve conflicts amicably.
That was not the way I was raised and our family had a lot of double level messages going on and much of what needed to be dealt with never was. So even though I loved how much magic my mother always brought to the Christmas season in retrospect it was her way of compensating for what was missing the rest of the year with my father and his alcoholism and abuse. The good news is that the dysfunction in my family of origin...and David's led to the work we now do...so within a larger context it is all good.
I am happy to say David and I had a quiet, contemplative and very meaningful Christmas. With my birthday falling on new year's eve we will be celebrating with friends in Winnipeg and I look forward to relating to them in the way we do. They live by the same criteria David and I have developed within our partnership...in openness there is trust...and in trust there is love.
Once again..have a great new year's eve...and we will chat when I get back at the beginning of Janurary.
Raia
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5 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
28 Dec 07
well now as ya know there is just us and Clays family here in Vegas . So we had dinner over there and it was very hard daughter in law would try to talk and grand son would scream and jabber so loud that we couldnt tell what she was saying I wanted to bip him one but he is just 6 but he is so rude when we are there. HE and grand daughter play but seems to get to be a mine mine thing and shouting and sometimes it gets to pushing . and this hollering goes on the whole time we are there , we try to calm her down but is impossible when he eggs it on. and he points fingers at her and tells her she isnt breaking any thing and she (age3) points right back and tells him she isnt breaking any thing which she hasnt! ever. adn he was trying to slip the present off to open them before time I have this with him at birthday partys too. even when it isnt his birthday party.
well hour and a half was all we could take! That is such a same for I hate to not stay longer for son is in Iraq and she has no one else here.
as he will be home next month am hopeing for a better CHristmas next year with them!.
Other than that I called my mom and my brother and talked to them a good while then my sis in law . of course my other and youngest son called me early 6 am. and he will be here tonight!. also called an old friend and we talked along time.
I still need to call my sis but never know when she is home and wasnt home when I did call and she has never called back!.
And then I had my time with hubby early that morning while I sat in the dark watching the Christmas town glow like he loved to do. THe whole month I have had my off and on cring spells when I got to missing him so much.
I figure hat all my christmases from now on will run something like this.
hugs and blessings every one
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@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Oh my goodness...unruly child...and at such a young age. Hmmmm, does make one wonder what form his temper tantrums will take unless his mother does something to teach him better manners...SOON! In my training my professors claim that kids have a basic sense of how they are going to function between 1 and 4 years. They pick up things by osmosis at that age because they haven't developed their critical thinking skills. Too bad you weren't around more...to help guide him to others ways of relating.
Good to hear that your son will be home in a month. Lets join together and even ask Darkwing to send protective energies for him to assure a safe passage back to his loving family's waiting embrace.
I can appreciate how difficult this time of year is without your Sweetie to share it with you and the rest of your loved one. The best thing to do is precisely what you are...staying with the feelings and walking through them to the other side.
Thanks for offering your family experiences...I was wondering how your holidays with the family went. Good to have an update. We finished our packing and getting the rest of the gifts in the car so I have a little time to check in here and respond to responses.
Once again...have a good wind down to the year and we'll keep our belief in greater things to come.
Love, light and peace to you and yours,
Raia
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
29 Dec 07
yes with darkwing in our corner we can send all kinds of energies to get him home safely.
and now other son is stranded in Memphis for their flight was cancelled I did a post so you can read there.
Yup the kid needs his dad but he is rowdy when dad is home too but then he hasnt been home that much to get the teaching to his son that he shold now Clay will retire and be around more so hope this helps out and I dont think she really cares how he acts .
FOr she can be rude herself.
have a safe and wonderful trip hugs and blessings
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@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
5 Jan 08
From what you are saying this little boy could use some positive male modeling...from whatever place it is available.
Within my training it is clear that children learn waaaay more from what they see than what they hear...espcially whe the behavior speaks louder than the words. I trust your perception of his mother's rudeness and lack of awarness and sincerely hope that others in your family can help her son until his father comes home. Knowing that Clay will be around more to provide some other frameworks for this child to function within is a good thing. Otherwise he will continue acting the way he is...because on all ages we end up 'doing what we know' until someone provides some other way.
Anyway, you earned a few best responses from me as I've been going through my unresolved discussions and catching up. Your full participation and responding to every response with me is always something I value Lakota. Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do in such special ways.
Light blessings, hugs and caring regards,
Raia
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
29 Dec 07
Well as far as my family is concerned it went great, they were 1600 miles away lol, anyway, it did go well, I called and the phone got passed around so I got to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Both of my daughters were at my mom and dad's which was a very good thing, since there had been tension between my oldest daughter, my parent's and my youngest daughter ( a whole other story) but it was all put aside and forgiven and they were all together for Christmas, which I was very thankful for. I spent Christmas with my s/o and his family, and it was like being home. They have always treated me well, and even though he doesn't get along the best with one of his sisters, you would never know it when everyone is together for Christmas. So we all had a good holiday. Happy New Year to you and your's.
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@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hi again...good to hear from you and see the Avatar of your very special dog. Thanks for offering your holiday experiences. Sounds like there was more harmony than conflict and that is a good thing. Family dynamics can be strange at times...but from what you said here overall you had a good Christmas. Sometimes being 1600 miles away is the best way to keep things amicable. When David and I moved 95 K's and about a two hour drive into the city proper someone commented on our family conflicts..."You didn't move far enough away." Believe me at time those words were soooooooo true. Now that both my parents have moved on to what I believe is the next realm I can love and appreciate them...but life has changed and my hubs and I have changed with it.
Hope you have an equally good wind down to the year...and more harmony, happiness, peace and prosperity in 2008!
Cheers,
Raia
@Darkwing (21583)
•
28 Dec 07
I'm pleased to say that we had a very pleasant and peaceful Christmas at my Son and Daughter-In-Law's house. There were no problems whatsoever, and at one time, we all laughed so hard, we had tears running down our faces.
There is a downside though. A very good friend has problems, which arose over the Christmas period. Things are not good, and their mood very dark. I might very well write to you to see if there's anything we can do together, because the other person we tried this for, has seen results... so, we obviously work well together. I'm thinking of asking Ash too... I don't know how you feel about that but to my mind, our energies seem to be on similar levels.
Anyway... you have yourself a wonderful New Year's celebration in Winnipeg, and I'll see you on your return. Happy New Year to you and David. Brightest Blessings, my dear friend, and soul Sister. x
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Greetings from your friends across the pond...
Good to hear that you had a peaceful, enjoyable Christmas with your family. Laughing and sharing good times is a wonderful way to wind the year down.
Sorry to hear about your friend...if you would like me to participate in sending energetic support to the person you mention let me know. David and I will be back January 1rst but I expect to pick up e-mails while I am away. Send it to my private one because I may not be Mylotting. If not we'll connect at the beginning of the year and keep on keeping on.
Thanks for your new year greetings the same is coming back to you from you. Having my birthday on the same day...and with all the transforamtional changes David and I have gone through this year give me much to celebrate! It will not be a party-hardy time...more a reminiscing with friends and reflecting on the joy within our soul bonds and the history we have together.
So feel my love, light and appreciation for our sisterhood coming your way. I sincerely hope that the coming year and beyond brings more of your heart's desires into full manifestation.
Hugs, love and blessings,
Raia
@remo999 (49)
• Canada
5 Jan 08
My comment bears repeating. I posted it on the other discussion but will say it again. Now that I no longer spend time within the toxic dynamics of my family of origin I am happy to report that my relationships with my family who is primarily my wife are enjoyable during any and all special occasions. No undercurrents and double level agendas to deal with anymore.
@Dblabcker2200 (183)
• United States
28 Dec 07
Well, this Christmas was interesting, I am in a new relationship, having just getting divorced this year, and i moved away from my extended family(my parents and sister moved away 5 years ago). My new girl has 3 children I have none, this was my first christmas with children, also this is my first Christmas with out a job, that was VERY frustrating. The sunday before christmas we spent the day at my g/f's parents, it was interesting. All in all, it was a good christmas.
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@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hello, and thanks for the friend request and welcome to Mylot. I accepted it and look forward to chatting more in the coming year. This is a great site with interesting. caring people and I am sure you will enjoy yourself.
I appreciate your input on this discussion. From the sound of it this holiday season has been a bit of an adjustment for you. Good to hear that even in the face of the transition you are in that it was a good Christmas.
May the coming year provide you with work you enjoy and that your new relationship turns out to be all you'd like it to be.
Happy new year and best regards,
Raia
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