How often do you visit the grave site of loved ones or friends?

United States
January 10, 2008 7:58pm CST
My Dad passed away 19 years ago and I have visited his grave every week without fail since. I always bring one red rose and put it in the dirt above his stone. Now that my mom is there with him I have visited every day since she was buried on Monday and now I'm bringing two red roses. Since her name is Rose I think it's only fitting that she gets her own. I'm sure once I'm over the shock of losing her I'll go back to once a week but I'll always bring the two roses now. I'm lucky because the cemetary is within walking distance of my apartment. Half an hour away but I can walk it! They are basically the only people I can visit because other family members are in cemetaries in other cities and I don't drive so can't get there. How often do you visit your loved ones or friends who have passed away? Do you bring flowers or something else? I've noticed that a lot of people bring balloons and other things to other grave sites. What about you?
10 people like this
13 responses
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Jan 08
I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your mom. Try knowing she's in a much better place and in no pain. Instead she's walking the fields of wildflowers and seeing majestic water falls and all her family and friends once again who've passed before her. It won't be long that we'll follow even though it seems like it's a long wait but we'll be there when it's our time and we all meet up again. Now to answer your question, on Nov 11, 1990, I had a fiance die when our house caught fire. 29 days before his birthday. I visited his grave every day for the longest time because I couldn't believe it was real that he was gone. After a while I started visiting once a week till I married then it was when ever I got into town. I took cards, flowers and I took balloons on special occasions such as his birthday or a special holiday. He even smoked so I'd leave a cigerette on his head stone.
1 person likes this
@luvstochat (6917)
• United States
11 Jan 08
My father and grandparents are buried in a town about 20 miles away from me. I visit the graves about 4 times or so a year I go out on Memorial day and I go on certain holidays like fathers day, grandparent day etc. They were all buried with roses in their hand when they passed from my kids my grandpa had one rose because when he passed I only had my son, my grandma and dad have two roses as I have two children now. It is a tradition that will be followed with my aunt and mother too. That way they will always have something from my kids with them.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 08
My mother was also buried with 4 roses in her hands. One for me and one for each of my kids. I was the only one to think of doing that and my sister and brother wished they had thought of it too but it was too late.
@pyewacket (43953)
• United States
11 Jan 08
I admire your dedication in visiting the gravesite of your father and now your mother as often as you do. Going to the cemetery to visit passed on love ones was never a "thing" in our family--don't know why, just hasn't. For instance, even though my mother loved her mother very much, she never visited the gravesite..my great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents are there too. As for my mother, who passed away on August 27th 2006, I had her cremated and have her ashes here at home...I hope one day maybe to spread her ashes somewhere suitable..where I don't know, but maybe when the time comes I'll know where
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
16 Jan 08
All those who have passed away in my family are in New Zealand, Samoa or Rarotonga. When I am there visiting I try to go by and visit them with flowers. I know on special days like birthdays and Christmas and sorts, our families go to the cemetry and have a picnic there or something along those lines. Every anniversary flowers are taken there too.
@tinabme2 (90)
• United States
14 Jan 08
My Dad passed in 88 and my oldest son in 99, I can not find away to go to their graves, I guess I just cant except that they are gone. It is really very hard for me, my son was taken not of his own and my dad was also, so I just cant find away to except their deaths maybe one day. I guess its also because their souls are not there only the empty shell that once held their souls, so I just dont feel the way some do about going to their graves. To me it is a very bad and sad place for me. I dont see it as a final resting place.
12 Jan 08
I usually visit my fathers grave once a year. Its not that far away, but I know that he is not there and has moved on to a more peaceful life than what he had his last few years on this earth. I miss my dad greatly, more with each new day. When I get to missing him too much I drive to my moms house and go out to the shed. I get two lawn chairs out and set them under the huge ash tree where we sat many times and talked. I sit in one and remember all of the good times we had sitting in that exact spot in those same chairs just talking about life.
@lsen06 (5006)
• India
11 Jan 08
i never visit . because they are gone. i donot love to call them.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 08
That's so sweet that you visit so often! I think I would too if my relatives were buried here. As it turns out, I don't have any relatives buried in Florida. Yet anyway! I hardly ever go to MS because there is someone there who will hurt me if I go and that's where everyone is buried.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36377)
• United States
11 Jan 08
I visit my mom in my heart as she was cremated and her ashes are with my brother in Michigan. Now I visit friends graves each time I am near the graveyard they are in. A couple are a few hundred miles away so it's not too often. I have some A.A. friends buried near by that I visit each time I go to my local club. I bring my self anf my heart and soul is all. No need for anything else I feel. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 08
My mom passed away in April and I have visited her grave twice. I know that sounds harsh but I still cannot bring myself to go there. Maybe it is denial, I dont know, maybe some day it will be different.
@raijin (10382)
• Philippines
11 Jan 08
I'm very sorry for the loss, I hope that you do get over it. My grandparents on my mother's side were the one's we usually visit, but we seldom do since the place they were buried are far from where we live. We do bring flowers, candles and offer some prayers as well. Sometimes, we also bring food and offer it to them as if remembering our times together with them..
@elemental69 (1562)
• Ireland
17 Feb 08
Like you I used to visit my mothers grave every day for the first year. Its now coming up to her second anniversary, and I can only get there twice a week now, but each time I still bring her some flowers. I am lucky in a way that we have only one main cemetry in our town, and all of my family who have passed have been laid to rest in the same area, so when I am there I would always walk around and visit all the graves....
@chrislotz (8209)
• Canada
17 Jan 08
I am really bad for not going to visit the gravesites of my loved ones. I just don't like grave sites, they give me the creeps. I have lost my sister in a car accident, 35 years ago, she was just 17 years old, and I maybe have been to her grave site about 10 times. I haven't gone there for about 7 years now. My father passed away about 7 years ago and that is the last time I went to my sister's site. His ashes were buried beside her. I have not since visited his either. I have lost other family members, like my sister's husband and good friends, but I don't visit their graves either. I like to remember people when they were alive and I don't feel the need to go visit their graves. My mom gives me heck for it all the time and asks me to take her but I just don't have the desire to. So my older sister usually takes her.