I need some advice, I guess...

United States
January 12, 2008 4:34pm CST
I've been abused, I dont have a relationship with my parents, I have two girls, ones 10 and we already dont get along, and the other is 8 but handycapped. I have bipolar disorder and I dont trust anyone or myself. Plus a drug and alcahol problem. I'm on my 2nd marrage and I love this man. But I'm afraid of getting hurt. He dont abuse me or anything but he likes his friends and he went to the bar without me the other night. I fell left out since he wants to do things by himself. I dont want to be cheated on and he keeps saying he's not a cheater and I need to get that out of my mind. I want to trust him, I did at the beginning when we were always together, now we do things apart. I've been cheeted on, so how do I look past that and love him like I'm suppose to. I know the past is the past, but its hard. Any suggestions? I want this to work and I'm just scared. How do you get over somthing so bad and hurt you to be with someone who loves you and is perfect in your eyes? He tells me he's with me, so why do I feel so sad? Any advice, I would love to hear it. ~WiteNgtOwl
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
13 Jan 08
Are you not doing anything as a couple? I was in a relationship where we did everything as singles. We were married. Couples should do things together more than not. This leaves little room for a roaming eye. I hope that the two of you can come to an understanding and work this thing out. Big huggers to you.
@eyewitness (1575)
• Netherlands
13 Jan 08
about your daughter...treat her like you want to be treated. i bet you don't want you and your daugther to end up like you and your parents did, that's a shame if that would happen ! :) try to look at your husband like he's a new life for you. like you said, he loves you, he's with you in your life and he chose to spend his life with you. i know this is hard but try to look at a lot of things from the bright side... he doesn't do anything wrong to you and he tries to convince you that he réálly loves you!. Also look at how good the future can look and don't look back at the past.that's why it's called the past. try to trust him :)And really you feel sad from fear.If you're a minute alone it would remind you of the past that's why it's better to look at the future. Good luck with this and i hope you will feel better.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
13 Jan 08
Having been in the same spot (getting out of a relationship with a cheater) it is hard to trust again. It's a slow process but you have to realize that not all men are like the bad one. You also both have to have your own space but maybe you could plan a date night even if it's only at home where the two of you share a movie together or something. The important part is that you both have your space but also have quality together time. Remember it takes time and little steps. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@enbrown (282)
• United States
12 Jan 08
Well I too have been cheated on and I would say if you can heal from that the rest of your problems will improve as well!