Found on Curriculum Vitae

@urbandekay (18312)
January 31, 2008 12:33pm CST
1. I am very detail-oreinted. 2. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. 3. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! 4. Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. 5. I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt. 6. Graduated in the top 66% of my class. 7. Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately. 8. I am a rabid typist. 9. Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math. 10. I worked as a Corporate Lesion. 11. Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel. 12. Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis. 13. Special skills: Thyping. 14. My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend. 15. Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law. 16. Education: Graduated from predatory school with honours. 17. Never been fired, although it could happen any time now. 18. I have happily been a “kept man” for the past 10 years. 19. Referees available upon request. 20. Cover letter: Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgement, which are so hard to find these days. 21. Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes. 22. Objective: To obtain a position where I can make a difference, infecting others with my professionalism, enthusiasm and dedication. 23. Strengths: Impersonal skills. 24. Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store. all the best urban
3 people like this
6 responses
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
31 Jan 08
Ha ha those are funny. I think this one is my favorite. "I am a rabid typist. " I have the image of someone at an old typewriter typing about 200 works a minute with white foam coming from their mouth(rabid).
@urbandekay (18312)
31 Jan 08
He he he he he, I enjoyed your image all the best urban
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
31 Jan 08
It's Stewie Griffin he rocks! He's my favorite Family Guy character.
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
31 Jan 08
Oops I thought you were talking about my avatar now I know which image you're talking about lol!
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
LOL!!! Urban, you certainly made my day! I saw your discussion this morning and I wanted to respond the soonest but I'm running pretty late for my appointments. I'm definitely forwarding this to all my friends. I hope you don't mind.This reminded me of the experiences I have had while working as director for a call center in my country. I had to do final interviews and some applicants really sent me flying off my seat! I wish I've kept copies of the resumes I've submitted when I was younger. I must have had some bloopers too! LOL!
@urbandekay (18312)
1 Feb 08
Feel free to forward it all the best urban
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
20 Feb 08
This is just too funny. Unfortunatly a few of these I can profess to.... Not really but my favourites have to be 12, 20 and 23. Strong impersonal skills are handy when you want to work at the post or immigration.... I mean, it could be a asset. Right?
• United States
8 Feb 08
Why that is a lovely resume! I'd hire him in a second! hahaha! NOT!!!!!!!
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Very good Urban everyone needs a good laugh at the end of a hard day! You just made mine. Number 7 fit my day to a T. lol Only its not a job its a volunteer position. Shalom~Adoniah
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
4 Feb 08
Oh my! this is good. I can't help laughing out loud! I love postings such as this one. I have the gut feeling that these came from true CV's? How delightfully horrible. ha ha ha! I am so bad, because i am one of those who really enjoy reading CV's and seeing a lot of funny things on them.