I'm Sure I'll Get Honesty Here...
By anniepa
@anniepa (27955)
United States
February 15, 2008 6:34pm CST
...so I'm asking you all straight out - what the heck am I doing wrong? I'm starting this in the "Politics" interest because it's about my politics posts so maybe it really belongs in the "myLot" interest but I thought it would help more to get the input of others who frequently post to this interest. Here's my question - I'm a political junkie and it's something I follow closely and have since a very early age. I guess it stands to reason that I'd do a lot of posting to discussions about politics here on myLot, right? I've posted lots of responses and started my share of new discussions in this interest and worked myself up to an interest rating of 59 a few short weeks ago. Then, my star rating suddenly took a huge beating and I dropped from an 83 down to a 70, where I've held steady for awhile now. At the same time my politics interest ranking went up to 135, then I fought my way back to 130 only to have it go back to 134 where it is as of this writing. I thought I knew what started this whole thing and whether I was right about that or not, I think I have that issue resolved; it was one of those things where something I said was taken the wrong way and it kind of snowballed from there. I never, ever want to offend anyone, disrespect anyone or hurt their feelings in any way here on myLot or anywhere else for that matter but I'm human and I think we all sometimes misspeak or put something in a way other than how we wanted it to come out and sometimes in print something that was meant to be said in a lighthearted or joking way may not seem that way. That having been said, I'd like to apologize to anyone who has ever felt I'd shown than anything other than respect whether we agreed or disagreed on a given issue. I like having discussions on topics that interest me and I'm rather passionate about some things but to me when you have a discussion if there's a disagreement or misunderstanding you face it head-on and give the other person a chance to clarify what they said or how they meant it.
The point I'd like to make is this:
I'm a somewhat liberal Democrat but I'm not a radical, I don't agree with everything either the "famous" liberals or the Democrats as a whole stand for and some of my best friends and even a few relatives happen to be conservative Republicans. In other words it's not personal, guys! My friends and I at work and in other places have been known to have very "heated" debates on very "hot" issues one minute and were laughing and joking about something totally non-political the next. It's how I was raised; my dad and his brothers as well as other friends and relatives were famous for sitting at our kitchen table with a few beers and having a regular shouting match about whatever the issue of the day was or whoever the candidate or politician on the "hot seat" happened to be at that moment in time but although a few slams to the table weren't unheard of there was never any doubt about their love and respect for each other and their enjoyment of each other's company. That's what I'd like to have here on myLot and I do with many of my friends here as well as some others who aren't on my friends list but I can still have a healthy debate with. I never have and I never will give someone a negative rating because they happen to support a candidate I don't or because they dislike who I'm for. I also don't negate them if they make a generic comment to the effect that "liberals are stupid" or (fill in the blanks here with anyone I have shown support for or have defended) "So and so is a such and such". I may defend myself or someone else if I feel it's warranted but I try to do that in a respectful way and if it comes out sounded like I didn't do just that I hope the poster will let me know about that, again hopefully in a respectful manner. The fact is, I don't think most of us here, especially most of us Americans since this is mainly about American politics, are as far apart as it may sometimes seem at first glance. I have no doubt we all want what's best for our families and our country, not to mention the world, we just have some different ideas on what the "best" is and how to achieve it, but so what!
OK, I'm done with whatever you'd like to call this "tirade"! It's not meant to be a rant nor is it a tearful plea for everyone to please be nice to me but it's something in between. I'm not about to stop posting to these discussions because it's one of my favorite interests but I'd just like to clear the air. If I disagree with you politically or ideologically that doesn't mean I don't like and respect you as a person and I guess I'd just like to be treated in the same way myself. Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to your honest and respectful responses! for what it's worth, many of my BR's have gone to very conservative Republicans...lol
Annie
12 people like this
10 responses
@Taskr36 (13963)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I think some people just can't handle dealing with those who don't think exactly like them. Frankly, I spend more time responding to people I disagree with than those that I agree with. It provokes more interesting debates. Obviously you've seen me respond to many of your posts and I disagree with you roughly 95% of the time. It might be more like 99%, but I haven't been keeping track. Either way, all you can do is be yourself and keep posting.
I had a 9 star for a while until I started posting on religion and politics threads and that's where my numbers started to plummet. You'll have that risk whenever you discuss opinions versus facts. I got up to 9 stars originally posting in threads where I had a lot in indisputable knowledge and experience like with computers. Posting in relationships threads also boosted my numbers since people like advice.
Sadly, not everyone likes having their views challenged or debated. Oh well. Not much can be done about them.
3 people like this
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Hello Anniepa,
Welcome to the club. Although my rating is back up to a "10", I have also been subject to sudden, deep-cutting free-falls. Whenever a person holds strong opinions, they are bound to be assessed by those opinions.
I think that part of the problem is that the majority of people don't rate discussions & responses. Which would make me part of the problem. Specifically, if I disagree with the content of a post, I will not rate it; neither a positive nor a negative. Unless of course, it is a terrifically penned post/response. Then, whether I agree or not, I will give credit where credit is due.
The only times I negatively rate a post/response is: if the poster is caustic, or if there is woeful negligence on the part of the poster regarding the information they present. For example: I would negatively rate a response where the advice is offered to 'get over yourself and stop worrying about your depression', or 'just go out and get a job and stop whining', or the like. Given the reality that you and I hold contradictory political views, it is quite rare that we ever agree. That doesn't mean that you should be rated negatively for your opinions.
Returning to my original point, and where many of us may be to blame is in choosing to not rate a post/response(s). If one person negatively rates every single response that we supply to our respondents, and no one else rates those responses, then 'whammo' the thread will have a high overall negative rating. Which isn't fair, especially if the rater doesn't even make the commitment to engage the discussion by participating. Yet, it's contrary to human nature to positively rate something that we do not agree with. Giving that plus 'feels' like we are concurring with the message or sentiment. Hence, the reason why if I disagree I will vote 'neutrality', by not choosing a plus or a minus.
If we all agreed on everything, then wouldn't it be a boring world? And, how would we ever learn from each other? If you suspect that you know which discussion caused your free-fall, then perhaps studying how you responded, as opposed to what you said in those responses might provide you with some clues on how to present your information in a way that will be deemed less objectionable? I can't say for sure that it will help. Though, being the eternal optimist, I have to believe that the majority of our community are not punitive raters. Rather, my experience is that most seem just fine about agreeing to disagree.
The hard cold reality is that our current rating system only offers three choices: agree, neither agree nor disagree, or disagree. If all but one section of a response is benevolent, and where the one portion is perceivable as malevolent, then I believe that most people will carry away from the response the malevolent portion.
So, as I see it: We can either alter the way we present information, stop presenting that 'type' of information, cease to worry about ratings, or petition the MyLot Administration to change or eliminate the rating structure. If the rating structure was changed to offer a scale of 1-5 or a scale of 1-10, I believe that we would see alot less ratings grumbling going on. Of course, that's just my opinion -- and we all know what 'they' say about opinions (chuckle, chuckle).
2 people like this
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
20 Feb 08
Hello Anniepa,
"I think your idea would make a lot of sense - therefore it will NEVER be implemented!"
Ya' know, your statement is so sad, and yet so true that it really is funny! We've both been around here long enough to know a cinder block wall when we encounter one, eh?
Thanks for the chuckle! And, for the kind words, as well as the opportunity to contemplate the possible reasons why negative raters might have as much power as we all perceive them to have. Pondering your post, and formulating an answer certainly gave me a moment of pause.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Hello, Ladyluna and thanks so much for responding. You're right that we don't hold the same political opinions but for the record I still give you a positive rating almost every time because, while I may disagree with your opinion I find your posts to be well thought out, intelligent, articulate, well researched and above all respectful of others' views. I realize different people have different rating habits and I think you may have a point about how one's rating could fall if only those who choose to give a negative rating if they disagree with the poster are actually rating. I think your idea would make a lot of sense - therefore it will NEVER be implemented!
Annie
3 people like this
@MntlWard (878)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I think a lot of people don't understand how the rating system is *supposed* to be used, and they just go by whether they agree or not. For those of us who like to get into discussions with people whose opinions may differ, we're going to get lower ratings.
I've often been the only leftish responder in a right-wing thread, but I see people with high stars initiating left-wing discussions. Where are they all at when I need some backup? I've also noticed that the high stars in the right-wing threads can't be found in most left-wing threads. It goes both ways.
The rating system is supposed to judge a person's effectiveness at promoting discussion, but there's no way to restrict it to only that use.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
17 Feb 08
Thanks so much for making an excellent point. I've read a lot of your posts and when I just took notice of your rating I almost fell over! I'll have to check out more of your discussions. I think I can promise to give you some backup! I'm drawn to discussions where there are opinions that are different from my own because if I just wanted to discuss politics with people that all feel the same as I do I'd just talk with my friends and relatives in my offline life! But debating issues and having an exchange of ideas and being called names and having my rankings go to he11 are two different things. Ohwell, I guess we're doomed!
Annie
2 people like this
@Benjaminna (300)
• United States
17 Feb 08
You may or may not know I disagree with you 99.99% politically. And to be honest, I have read some of your political post with a few eye rolls, sighs and maybe some growling -lol.
However, I have also read some of your post in other topics like cooking (I think) and they were very nice and helpful -- almost enjoyable (dare I say).
The bottom line is, just because I can't/don't agree with you on one subject and we might battle it out -- doesn't mean their are tons of other things we do agree on or have in common.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Yep, I know you disagree with me on political issues and as I recall you and I have had some interesting and frank discussions that I've enjoyed. I have no problem with you rolling your eyes, sighing or growling...I do my own share of those things but it's never pointed at the poster. We all have our own opinions and our own reasons for them. I figured from the time I started here that our rankings in a particular interest such as politics weren't based on whether we were "right" or "wrong" - (or right or left...lol) but rather our general knowledge of the facts (as opposed to personal opinions) or our interest in the subject and frequency of posting to that interest. Did that make any sense?
Anyway, thanks for responding here and, please tell me what I can do to make my cooking posts more than "almost" enjoyable! Cooking is something I can do well and even conservatives would be happy with what I'd serve them!
Annie
2 people like this
@Benjaminna (300)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I don't know about the rankings or really how they work. What is right or wrong to rank someone on -- I don't know. I guess everyone has their own way of ranking. I do know I wouldn't give a negative ranking just because I didn't like someones opinion.
I didn't mean your cooking post were (almost) enjoyable - as much as I meant I was surprised. I first learned of you through the politics and debate topics and our opinions were so different -- it took me by surprise to find that we shared something in common. Not very often that happens.
2 people like this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Lately, I have been discussing politics a bit with someone who is insanely into it and he has been teaching me a ton about it. I have responded to some of your discussions with what little I know and you have enlightened me on the subject. I usually agree with you, like you I'm a democrat but not a radical. I have hope for change and that's all we have is hope until someone steps up to the enormous American plate.
Many times the hope I have above seems to be shot down by "old school" conservatives and other times modern conservatives have great views that add to a liberal point of view, it seems to me.
Political arguments seem to get nasty when those who don't know much about it think they do, when proven wrong, they get crazed and instead of doing a little research, they start spouting off meanness. I guess it's true with any argument but it just makes me think...go research so you are better versed (as I'm doing lately) before you pass judgement on someone for their opinions..instead they should be passing judgement on the issues at hand and the politcians who refuse to see and face the problems going on in America today.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I've enjoyed your responses to my discussions. Thanks for taking part. You're so right about how some people spout off with their meanness. I've said it before but I don't care if someone disagrees with me, I'm even more than willing to listen to (or in this case read) their arguments; sometimes we have to agree to disagree, but what's the big deal? That doesn't make either of us stupid or crazy and it sure doesn't mean any of us don't love our country. Thanks so much for responding here!
Annie
1 person likes this
@maths887 (64)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Annie,
I'm not on here too often, but when I am, I migrate to you. It is because you are a good person, an insightful person, and a respectful person. These numbers on myLot, I have no idea what they mean, and I would bet one person could have a drastic affect on your numbers if they really wanted to be rude. So either way, put a smile on and enjoy the day!
Look forward to a Democrat in the White House in less than one year. A prospect long overdue!
- Matthew
2 people like this
@Smith2028 (797)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I believe the reason your ratings drop is because some on here rate you solely based on your political views. As I've stated all along, I am a conservative, but I've always given you positive ratings because I believe you do your research.
2 people like this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Thanks so much, and I also always give you positive ratings for that same reason. We're all products of our own environment and upbringing and so many other things, in my opinion, and as I said, many of my best friends are very conservative and while we may have disagreements on some things I know we all want what's best for our loved ones.
Annie
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
16 Feb 08
I am about as anti-political as anyone can be. But I understand where you are coming from, because that is the way I feel about my religion. The only difference is that I say what I have to say and make no apologies for it. But, I understand why you would, it is not as serious as religion.
When I am passionate about something, I lay it on the line and express the way I feel. I look at it like this, there is no way to please everyone, so just go with what you really feel. There is no need to purposely offend anyone, but there is no need to compromise what you truly believe either.
2 people like this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
2 Mar 08
Everyone has different views and choices and opinions on the politics of their choice. You have every right to post what you want her about the politics of your choosing. I don't begrudge you or anyone else for their opinion. I don't think that you are right or wrong. I never respond to your political discussions because I live in Canada and I don;t know a whole lot about your politics in the States. But even if I did know about them, I still have not responded because it is way over my head and I am not a political person.
But in saying that. I think that most people here in mylot feel the same way I do, and really don't mind that you post discussions about these issues that are important to you. Don't let others deter you from continueing to post what ever you want to post, whether it be politics or something else. It's called freedon of choice and freedon of speech and you have just as much right to post what you want to, as all the members here in mylot.
1 person likes this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Thank you so much and I'm sorry to take so long to get back to you. I have and I will continue to post what I choose to pose, I can't seem to help myself. I'm admittedly opinionated but I never set out to offend or show disrespect. It's obvious we all don't agree here on myLot on how the rating and interest ranking system is supposed to work and I'll just live with that. My "hurt feelings" over having my rankings in the Politics interest fall so dramatically isn't because I'm upset more people don't agree with me but rather the fact that I do post a lot in this interest and I put a great deal of thought and research into my posts. I always give positive rankings to those who have a totally opposite point of view from mine, as long as they're respectful and don't resort to name calling and personal attacks toward me or other posters, so I'm helping them beat the heck out of me in the rankings but that's OK. By the way, don't hesitate to post in any interest if you feel you have something to say; you sure don't need to be an "expert" to have an opinion.
Annie
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
16 Feb 08
Having only been on myLot for a short time, I've been doing a lot of reading of past discussions in order to get a better understanding of how best to participate in the myLot world. A prevailing theme seems to be a great deal of concern over the integrity of the rating system.
However, an even stronger theme I have noticed is the immense degree of support, caring, friendship, and cummunity here in myLot land. If you were to use the number and quality of your friends as your true rating, I think you would find your number would be well beyond 100 and your star to bright to be seen.
Some famous person somewhere (I have a very poor memory) said:
"Show me your friends and I'll show you who you are."
(or words to that effect)
From reading this discussion, anniepa, you are "good people" and your friends are "good people." What better ratings can you have?
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
17 Feb 08
Thank you so much for your kind words and welcome to myLot! You're the kind of member we need more of here, and you're right in saying there are lots of great people here. I couldn't agree more, if I were judged by the quality of my friends here I'd be sky high because they're the best. I've requested that you become one of them and I hope you'll accept.
Annie
1 person likes this
