My sons dad

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I am having a problem with my sons dad. I am married now, however my oldest child is from a previous relationship. His dad denied him for the first 2 years of his life. When my son was about 15 months old his dad wanted to take him to the park and I thought great he's finally realized that there is no way that my son is not his. (I was with his dad for a few months and became pregnant with my beautiful baby boy, and his dad cheated on me with the girl he is with now, and his dad always accused me of cheating when i was with him. impossible because i would go to his home at 5:30 in the morning, then go to school and get off of the bus at his home and stay there until midnight and then go home and repeat the process everyday. However sometimes when i would go to his home he would not be there and he would pull up about 30 minutes later and say he was at his friends house. I was 17 and in love, love is blind) anyway.......When he took my son to the park the whole time he was telling my son that he was not his dad. The only way that i know this is because my best friend was at the park that day with her boyfriend and her sister. She came back and told me that he did not take care of my son, and that they had watched and played with my son the whole time. They also said that whenever my son would go near his dad, his dad would say "I'm not your dad." Who says that to a child!!!!!!! I got fed up and ordered a paternity test had it done and shoved it in his face. Now that he realizes he is the dad (which was obvious all along) he claims to want to be in my sons life, however, he does not call him, and when he comes to town he goes over everyone elses house, and comes to see my son for like an hour. It pees me off so bad, because my son deserves a lot more than what his real dad is giving him. His dad has missed every birthday he's had, he's given him two movies and claims that my son knows him as daddy. Bullcrap! My son does not know him, he knows my husband as his dad, because my husband is the one who has been there through thick and thin and cares and loves my son with all his heart and my son loves him too. My husbands a real man and in my opinion his dad is a boy (who needs the crap knocked out of him lol). Anyway.... when my sons dad came down the last time (note that he lives 8 hrs. away) he told us that he was down here for only two days and on the second day he came to see my son for an hour maybe an hr. and a half but no more. We found out by my husbands brother that my sons dad was acutally in town for 5 days. In fact he went to my husbands brothers house on the fifth day and got drunk. Why could he have not spent more time with my baby, my son's beautiful, he deserves so much more than his dad is offering. Now we come to the situation that my sons dad wants to take him to his hom (8hrs away) for a month. I plain said NO. When he starts acting like a dad to my son, that means calling him and talking to him, spending time with him and everything. He can't just take him without knowing him, he needs to have a warming up session. Please tell me how not to lose my mind. Someone please help, it really upsets me because he's my boy, my only boy, he's my baby, I love my children with all my heart, how can someone just expect for me to be cool with them just wanting to go from cold to hot (not seeing/talking/spending time with my son to having my son stay with him for a month) I don't understand. I only want what is best and I won't trust if he just gets him without warming up to him, and letting my son know that he can trust him. Yes that's his dad, however, he's not. He's never been there, he does not talk to him or anything. Help please.