My teen daughter always wants....

United States
March 18, 2008 10:22am CST
more things than I can imagine. I feel like she asks for too much. How do you say no without causing a fight? And kids always asks but why?
5 people like this
7 responses
@ebsharer (5519)
• United States
18 Mar 08
I don't have teens yet my kids are 11 7 and 15 months. I'll start from the youngest up. My 15 month old obvously doens't ask for any thing yet. My 7 year old is a girl and just wants more and more clothing, my 11 year old is a boy he asks for mainly video games. So far they don't ask more then once. They know them continuing to ask isn't going to get me to change my mind. When I say no I mean no. You don't need to cause a fight to say no. Just say no. If she asks why explain to her money doesn't grow on trees she is old enough to understand that. If she wants extra then what you give her she is old enough to do extra chores to make money possiably babysit. Go to her grand mothers or aunts and do some work at there house for the extra money. If you don't tell her no then she is going to expect every thing to be handed to her when she gets older and as you know it doesn't work like that. Please see my discussions on kids wanting for some thing AND telling kids no. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1434379.aspx http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1419723.aspx
• United States
18 Mar 08
Thank you so much for the information.
@mark17779 (667)
18 Mar 08
easy..... NO.... do not buy every thing your kid wants as your giving in way to easy and spoiling her.... try to teach her the value of money and make her get a part time job to earn money for the things she wants to buy.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Mar 08
no means no-sounds simple. But not easy to do. She will be getting a job hopefully in a few months.
@Chey1970 (1193)
• United States
18 Mar 08
It seems to be a natural thing for kids/teens to ask for this, that and the other. The more you give them, the more they will ask for. Telling a teen NO, will cause a fight 90% of the time, especially if they are used to getting what they want. Maybe it's time you teach her a value of a buck, by telling her it's time she starts buying the stuff she "wants" herself, and you will buy the stuff she "needs". Needing and wanting is two totally different things.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Mar 08
your right I think she wants more than she needs. A hard lesson to teach a stubbon teen.
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Your daughter is not unlike many other kids today; they feel entitled to whatever they want. We live in an age of mass consumerism and immediate gratification. Say no, and then refuse to fight with her! It takes two to make an argument, you know, you can't fight with someone who won't fight back! She needs to learn that "no" is the final answer. At her age, she is certainly old enough to make a few extra dollars babysitting, or doing odd jobs if she wants more things than you want to buy for her.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Mar 08
Unfortuntaly where we live she cant make money. Although soon she will be 16 and can hopefully find a job. She hates the word no. And it is hard for me to say no, because I realize it is important to her to look a certain way in order to fit in. I wish I could give her all she wants but its not possiable.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7831)
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
If you think that she's asking too much, tell her so. Justify the difference between luxuries and necessities for her. And when she asks again for something you think that she really doesn't need, ask for her reason for wanting it. If its reasonable yet you can't afford it at the moment, you could always say that she has to wait for a while. If she gives an unreasonable response in wanting such an item tell her it to her as well. You can also ask why as well to her as she would always ask why when you don't want to. If your reasoning over powers her reasoning, make her realize it. Of course, we can't assume that your daughter would take it as straight forward like that. You just have to be creative in making her realize it. When she again ask for something, ask her your "whys" 'til she doesn't have any reasonable excuses to give. You could always conclude it with, "that's it?"
• United States
18 Mar 08
Oh "thats it" is very bad-LOL Doesnt work and doesnt help the situation.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7831)
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
Then you just have to find another way to establish your authority if you don't want her to be as what you described her to be..
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 08
I think I like spoilering her and hate saying no. Although I do sometimes-which is why it probably causes a fight.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
18 Mar 08
Kids are people too, and if you can't say"no," why do you wonder at her asking? I raised 4 boys and No meant NO! and it didn't matter if the World Stopped! No still meant NO! I never had any trouble with my boys asking for the sky, and I certainly never worried about a fight! My boys Knew Better and they learned this at a Very Young Age! Its so very simple to Make No mean NO!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 08
Perhaps its because I hate saying no. I know how it feels to be told no. How do you get over the disappointment?
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
18 Mar 08
Either learn to like saying "No," or learn to like your Spoiled Daughter asking for the Sky! You can't have it both ways!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 08
I dont like the word no but I do use it. How do you feel when someone tells you no?
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Kids just don't understand. I have two teenage boys and they constantly want this or that. There is always a fight here also. They think money grows on trees. I make my kids work for what they want, doing chores. That way they will appreciate it more. If they really want it they will do whatever I ask them. And there has been times they really didn't want.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 08
My kids do chores but not always do we have the money to pay them. Its hard to get kids to learn about money and where it comes from and how quick it goes.