Is being too trusting a sign of weakness?

@Marcola (2776)
United States
March 20, 2008 8:03am CST
People will act all nice, say they're your friend and you believe them. You share some moments. You have nice conversations. You share some laughs. They've gained your trust. Then you e-mail them or call them up, and they don't get back to you. You think "What have I done?" or "What's going on?" Is it best to keep your guard up and make people prove their loyalty to you? Do you think humans in general can be trusted? Why or why not?
5 people like this
14 responses
• India
20 Mar 08
It is best to take time and understand them. If a person appears to be inquisitive about your personal matters, be cautious. A real friend will not pester you to tell them your secrets. Everybody around you will have good and bad in them. make friends with people who have more good percentage. nice talks and jokes don't make a good person. Observe them. some people may flatter you a lot. some people may laugh at your jokes. but look into their eyes. does the laughter reach their eyes? if not, be careful. look at the way they treat others. if they like to gossip, don't encourage them. they may make gossips about you later. we must trust others, but we must trust them with our eyes open. it is best to become friends with people you have known for years. like your mom or dad or siblings.
@Marcola (2776)
• United States
20 Mar 08
Don't you think a real friend offers his/her shoulder for you to cry upon? If someone's having a bad day, is it really bad to say, "Hey, what's wrong? Do you want to talk about it? If you do I'm here." That's not really pestering is it? BTW, what do you mean by "Laughter reaching their eyes?"
• India
21 Mar 08
By pestering I meant continuously questioning you, even when you don't want to talk. for example, my mom has got a friend who got divorced years ago. everyone who meets her want to know what happened. but she does not want to talk about it. but these people who pretend to be her friends, keep on hinting at her divorce whenever possible. she always avoids such people. she could have just told them and even pour abuses on her ex-husband. but she didn't do it because she knows these people are not here to support her or sympathise. Once they know her story, they will manipulate it in their own ways and spread it. And I wont call someone whom you have known for years a "pestering" fellow. he will really want to help you. And about the laughter part- I meant sincerity. If a person is laughing sincerely, his/her eyes will twinkle. for understanding this you must be a keen observer. all these things must be applied to new friends whom you don't know whether to trust or not.
@Marcola (2776)
• United States
11 May 08
I see.
@gemini_rose (16194)
20 Mar 08
I have naievely believed that someone is my friend and then been let down and hurt by that same person so many times, that I just give up. I have been way too trusting this past couple of years and I learnt the hard way. I think it would take a long time to trust someone properly again and they certainly would have to prove that I had reason to trust them. I would rather just keep myself to myself, its a whole lot easier.
@Marcola (2776)
• United States
20 Mar 08
I agree. You can always trust yourself, but with humans it's a gamble.
@gemini_rose (16194)
3 Jun 08
Thanks for BRxx
20 Mar 08
I trust no one. All people that know i noticed that they lie me sometimes about something
@Marcola (2776)
• United States
20 Mar 08
It's safest that way. You'll always have yourself, money and material things and pets. They'll always be there for you. They won't stab you in the back. They're loyal. With humans, you're taking a risk.
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
21 Mar 08
I think it is. It does show a lack of confidence, a touch of low self-esteem or something like that as poeple who trust easily are easily hurt as well. The worst part too is that others tend to take advantage of those who trust easily discarding and picking them up at will.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
21 Mar 08
No. Being too nice is not a sign of weakness. Being to trusting is.....or maybe just naive. I used to be far too trusting of people and there are too many out their who will take advantage of that. I refuse to be a jerk because of the ones that have burnt me. The friendships I have made and the feeling I get from the ones that I have helped and they've appreciated it are too precious. I have learned a lot over time and am a bit more careful with who I let into my personal space. I'll still help strangers but I won't lend out amounts of money that I can't afford not to be repaid or items . As far as if they'll return the basic friendship....its always a chance you take.
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
It's hard to say, personally I am not too trusting kind of person. But I still believe that there are still people at there with really good hearts. They trust someone wasily and gave their all. Often times being too trusting can be link to stupidity as well. Like in relationships, I believe that though it is okay to give your all, you mustleave something to yourself as well. It is just so sad to see other people cheated on because they trusted and show kindness to someone.
@Darkwing (21588)
20 Mar 08
This is not a sign of weakness on your part, but on the part of your "untrustworthy" friends. You shouldn't think "What have I done?" That's negative thinking. Instead, you should be positive, and contact them... ask them if they're ok, because nine times out of ten, they won't be for some reason. I found that out a couple of times myself. I become concerned for them rather than myself. No, it's not good to keep your guard up... it's better to relax with your friends, otherwise, you'll make them edgy and they'll walk away from the friendship anyway. As for your question whether humans can be trusted... I think the majority of them can, if you give them reason to trust you. If you are open and honest with them, the chances are, they will be with you, but if you put up a guard against them, they will never trust you, and the friendship will not be worth fighting for anyway. Move on, in that case... there are lots more friends to be found, but to be loved, you first have to love yourself, and know that they're not absent because of anything you've done. Keep faith, and Brightest Blessings.
• India
20 Mar 08
Trust is what humans are good and as well as bad at it .If you look at activities of our daily lives we depend on trust more than ourselves .The problem is not trust but how far can we go without proper reciprocation . We must trust others with strings attached , we must be able to evaluate their trustworthiness as soon as they cross the line . with regards www.chocolatesavy.com
@ruby222 (4848)
20 Mar 08
I wrote a thread on thi a few days ago...I think its extremely difficult to trust many people.I think trust it something that comeswith time,the longer you know someone the moreso you may be inclined to trust them.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
20 Mar 08
Maybe the person is just busy at the moment..If someone doesnt get back to me right away I dont freak out about it, we all have busy lives, jobs, families etc etc...if i dont hear from someone in a week or so I'll call again and if I still dont hear back from them I just let it go and they'll get back to me if they want when they are able to.. Do I think being too trusting is a sign of weakness though? no not at all! I also dont think anyone needs to prove "loyalty" to me..I dont want that..I just want respect and demand it but its a two way street..I have to also respect the fact that like I mentnioned, they have lives and those lives DO NOT revolve around me...
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
20 Mar 08
Trust is gained gradually through interacting with people. I do not share everything the moment I meet someone new. My trust grows with time. but I do not go around assuming people cannot be trusted either. I do not distrust anyone until they have proven themselves unworthy of my trust. I believe in people as long as I can. To distrust until they prove they are trsutworthy would make my life worse in a way.To me it is better to believe in the good until I am proved wrong, than to believe in the bad sides of someoe until proven wrong
• Italy
20 Mar 08
You must decide if you trust them or not. 'Cause not all the people can be trusted, but it's unfair don't believe in anyone. Not all the human being are the same.
@balasri (26553)
• India
20 Mar 08
Trusting too much is not weakness it may be the foolishness.You risk the chance of being taken for a ride willingly.
• United States
20 Mar 08
i trust my wife and my momma. thats it! everyone else has to earn trust from me and it takes me a real long time to give it and hardly anythin to take it back. everyone is out for there own personl gane in 1 way or nother.