should i get married
By Dest274
@Dest274 (100)
United States
March 22, 2008 10:04pm CST
well im only 19 and i been with my boyfriend for 8 yrs well 6 without the break ups. let me try and sum up my relationship with him well the relationship started off young skipping school and being with him 14 yrs old sneaking out riding bikes walking all day it just felt like time stopped and we never wanted it to continue. well one day we got cought by his mom who told my mom and who got upset and decided to move me out of the state so me and him decides to runaway at 14 yrs old hes calling around to find us some where to live but at 14 i had to go with my mom he bought me a ring with my birthstone in it to leave with. so i move and she told me i can never talk to him but i did i got ajob so i can move home and she wouldnt let me i cried and said im going to kill my self he told me when i turn 18 we going to be together so i stuck it out with that im my mind. i graduated from highschool that summer he went to jail so i had a choice stay with him or go to college i went to college i came home for a visit and got pregnant. to find out while i was in tx he was with another girl. while i was in college he was with another girl. he say he never had relations with anyone and those to girl were just girl nothing more. i dropped out of college for him he also ran from jail for me so should we get married.
2 people like this
11 responses
@phxautopatrs (321)
• China
23 Mar 08
i think you are still so yung! you should think more about the thing after you married
@punkpro (34)
• India
23 Mar 08
It may sound harsh to you, but honestly You should not marry him. You think that he ran out of jail for you, but i don't believe in it. Do you think that he would have spent his rest of his life in jail had you not been there. I don't think so. And how come another girl come into picture when you two are in love for last 8 years. I don't call it love. Life has just started at 19 and don't sp[oil it right now. Go back to college, complete your studies and think about marriage after 5 years. Even after that period if you find that guy waiting for you than ita a differnt situation
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
23 Mar 08
Hi Dest274, i agree with every one here, and also i can understand your situation as my sister also ran(age 19) and got married to a guy, i dont know do they love eachother or not, but after 2 years they got divorsed. now she is staying with us with her son. she is not able to forgive herself for what she has done. always frustrated,
i think you should wait as you are too young to get married, right age is 26. The only thing i can tel you is please complete your studies. i know mylot wil also pay you but please complete your studies and become something so that in future it may require and also you can lead your life gracefully, dont have to depend on others.
Now about getting married wait till u become 26, you yourself will be the best judge and will be able to take the right decision. :) LIVE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE
@chance128 (61)
• Philippines
23 Mar 08
Whoa sister. Don't dare take another step before you think about these things:
1. You already caught him 'cheating' on you--it may be 'cheating' cheating, or CHEATING cheating, but either way when it involves another person it's nothing but trouble.
2. You're NINETEEN. Heck, you're just two years older than me! And like what my mom likes to say, we're just starting out. Do you really want to get tied up with your man this time so early?
3. So it's been eight years [and 'six' without the breakups]. It's not the number of years that matter; it's the depth of those years that do.
and hey. Me and my present boyfriend have been crushing on each other since we were in high school, but then it took us three to four years after before we even got exclusive. And our grounds are we'll only get married when we're both financially stable and successful in our careers. Sure, it doesn't have to matter--but that's love. It's not only about thinking for you both, but thinking for yourself as individuals as well.
What's suitable in your situation is to like--try thinking ten years into the future with your man. If you can't think about it, then dump him. You'd probably know by now that he's not worth it.
@heatherxbby (20)
• United States
23 Mar 08
WOW -_- !
What a story.If I were you I would be really sad that for about 6-8 years we've been together then my mom tries to break it up.The good part is that you got a job & that you went to college!But honestly I wouldn't marry a person who would be with another girl when i go away.Just think if your married It'll be reall tought your young , & PREGNANT , how are you going to support yourself & him ? Why even live with thim he went with another girl.PLEASE dont marry him .
@bronie123 (4587)
• United States
23 Mar 08
hmmm that a very serious thing you have going i cant really tell you what to do only to follow your heart if you think he is the right person for you and you will be happy with him and be able to trust him than go for it but if you have any doubts at all then i would say wait
you will know if you are ready or not you want have to ask other anymore you will just want it :)
I wish you the best of luck and i hope you make the decision that best for "YOU" not him think of your self!! and by all means go to college and be someone !!! If you have to drop out to be with someone thats never a good thing they should be suportive or you trying to better yourself :)
@j27366 (293)
• Philippines
23 Mar 08
i suggest that you wait for a while in the meantime. marriage is a much heavier responsibility, and with the situation your boyfriend is in right now, it could be difficult for both of you to start rearing a family. both of you are still young. and if possible, finish first your studies then try to look for a nice job - both you and bf - after which you can go ahead with marriage.
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
23 Mar 08
I think from what you have said here that you should wait to get married. That is my opinion. My oldest daughter is in a similar situation and her babies father is currently in jail and I wouldn't advise her to get married to him now or ever.
From my life's experiences I say find happiness within yourself and the rest will fall into place. I've been married once for eight years to my girls father and then been in several long term relationships and find myself happiest now being single. Take your time and don't rush into anything.
@idaantipolo (472)
• Philippines
23 Mar 08
In my opinion, you shouldn't yet...give yourselves a lot of time to think, because marriage has a lot of responsibility that comes with it. Why don't you just finish your college course for the meantime, and think things over.
@leloo2 (114)
• Romania
23 Mar 08
i am not a psyhologist..but i think that you should put in balance all the good and bad things that this relationship brought to you..or could bring you
i am also 19 and i have a boyfriend for 2 and a half years now..and i thinked about marriage also...but i tried to stay with my head on shoulders and analyse vrry well what this could mean
I mean:19 years ..if i get married this means:lots of responsabilities,less freedom,less fun,less travelling,less going out with friends...thy will still exists but diminuated..
This is way i thought marriage after 26
You and your boyfriend should know bettr..
I am not telling you marry him or do not marry him
It'a all in your heart..you and he know what's better
Someone said long ago:"Heart has it's own reasons"
So if you "think" the same and know that it copuld be good then go ahead...
