Do you worry about your friends much?

I always find that it's good to talk, but I guess that doesn't suit everybody. Some people like to be more private in their suffering. However, I just tell them if there's anything they want to talk about, I'm here to listen. I won't judge and I won't interrupt. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, if I'm not on the computer, my mobile phone is right beside my pillow. That's all you can do, really, my friend. There are some who like to find the strength to sort things out on their own. That's their way of growing in spirit, and keeping their self respect, and there's nothing anybody else on this earth can do, but be on hand. Brightest Blessings.

Hello my compassionate Canadian friend. I had to read your discussion twice because so many things came to mind and I had to edit myself. lol So here's the short version. I worry about my friends constantly. So many of them have real health issues that scare the bejesus out of me. I can't be on the spot for all of them all the time or I'd never have a life of my own. Thank god for email. I keep in touch, sometimes with just a whisper, sometimes with more. I talk to them on the phone when I can, and I keep them all in my prayers. I know how much it means to me to open my own email and see that they have sent me something, if only a hello, to let me know that they too have been thinking of me and mine and are worried and concerned and loving me. It means the world really to see those emails because I know that some are going to sooth my soul, and most are going to make me laugh out loud. I need both, every day. I have one girlfriend whose mother passed on some time agao. I have her book of poetry that she wrote and every time I'm down, I read some of those poems and I swear I can feel her mother's hand gently stroking my cheek and I know that I am loved. Turn your worry into little prayers. When you are thinking about someone also think, "Dear God, give them a lovely day". Smiles can cross miles before they even touch your lips.

OMG can i EVER relate to this thread!!! I am VERY well known for being the one ppl come to...I am also VERY well known for being an extremely empathetic woman whether its a friend, or one of my kids friends or a complete stranger...My husband for the longest time would get so upset with me becuase I do take on too much at times and even though I cant "fix things" for my friends and loved ones in need I can't NOT be there for them...Its not my nature for several reasons... Do I worry about my friends? ABSOLUTELY sometimes to a fault in the past but I have a handle on that now luckily for me (it was causing serious stress and damage in my life on many levels)....Out of all the ppl I know..I hate to say that a good 75% of them have troubled lives (this is friends, family and kids like neices and nephews etc) and I am the soundboard, counselor, sometimes financial aid and so on..my house and arms have always been open for my loved ones..I had my troubled neice living here last summer, her mom was here for 2 weeks the summer before that and its common knowledge that if someone needs a safe zone this is the place to come...My house has ALWAYS been the safezone, flophouse, retreat etc etc both in Canada and here in NY. Do I worry about some more than others? Yes...because some of them are in a really bad way and have such a hard time just keeping their head above water so to speak that I have to worry about them more... How do you deal with the worry? As best as I can..sometimes that may mean not answering the phone for a day or when things are calm for a few days I let ppl know via Facebook, MSN messanger and email that I'm going MIA for a few days (thats the signal to them that I need a breather)... Can you offer any advice as to how I can let go of some of the pain my friends are going through? Bottomline is this....You can only help a person out so much....you can give them resources, advice, tips and tricks and be supportive BUT the rest is up to them....Its hard putting that sort of mindset into action at times but it really does benefit everyone involved....our friends and family that have issues need a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on and offer up loving suggestions on how to solve a problem BUT they have to do the work. Realizing that and actually putting it into play in my life and the ppl I am there for etc really did help me not hold on SO TIGHT to their pain...also coming to realize that EVERYTHING has a solution...EVERY PROBLEM or ISSUE can be fixed...but the only person who can do it is the one having the problem or issue...See what I'm saying? As much as I would LOVE to be able to, for example, wave a magic wand and take away one of my best friends pain heartache and sorrow and as much as I'd LOVE to go *poof* and fix her life..I CAN'T..SHE HAS TO....So yes I worry about her...and I give her the encouragement, best advice and whatever help I can but then I have to leave it at that...the rest is up to her...I worry but I dont let it consume me anymore...when I use to it was ruining my life, my relationship with my hsuband and kids, my health and well being (I use to hit the bottle when I got overwhelmed) and I had to realize that I COME FIRST..

I worry about my friends, and I do worry about some more than others. I also share their joy. I think caring and sharing is a sign that we love them. I think it is generally a very good thing. It os good to know that our people care avout us and will be there for us. If you worry too much, so that it is a problem in your life, I think maybe you should explore the feeling a bit more. maybe it helps to talk to the ones you worry about? or maybe some other person that you trust?

I wish I could tell you. I don't care about alot of people but the ones that I do care about deeply, I take on their pain too. When there is nothing you can do about it though, you should let it go and let your friend sort it out. That person will come to you when they do sort it out and let you know what happened or if they need anything. I know it's easier said than done. I wish I could help more but I'm the same way. Hope things get better for your friend!

If you love and care for your friend then I think that you will inevitably worry about them. I am the worlds greatest worrier. My glass is always half empty! I find that the best way to help a friend is to let them know that you are there. Frequently. But don't get in their face unless asked. If their problem is something that you can do something about, ask them if they want your help. Listen if they say no. Respond constructively if they say yes. Offer to talk things through as a friend, and carry a spare packet of Kleenex in your bag. Be rational with yourself - how is your worrying going to help? If you get ill or down then that helps nobody. I don't think that there is a real answer to your question. Try to stay positive both for your friend and yourself. Most importantly, love them and let them know that you will be there for them whatever.

Karen yes I worry about my friends. I have a girlfriend who is going through so much with older kids and her husband although he loves her, he is somewhat emotionally detached, ( he has a full plate with work and other projects), that sometimes she feels stranded and left alone. But you know what? We as woman are so lucky in that sometimes we fill that emotional void that often is left by our partners. I do what I can for her as she does me. Worry in and of itself does no one any good. When I find myself fretting over a friend or a family member, I pick up the phone and find out if there is something I can do no matter how slight it might be. It helps alleviate some of the anxious feelings I myself am having.

Well to be honest, althoug in some cases I might worry, or take on problems of some of my friends. I usually am quite balanced on when I do it or not. Of course that closest friends are often the ones that I will worry. But some problems are not really anything that I can do about and I tend not to get involved even if only emotionally. This discussions reminds me of how my daughter and her friends are always so involved in each others problems. They live those problems, get upset at people that their friends are upset with, they worry and suffer. And two days later the problems are gone and they realize there was no need to get so involved in the first place. As a rule, if there is something I can do to help or alleviate the problem somehow, I will do my best to help. ANd in that case I will be involving myself, and taking on the problem almost as mine. If it's a big problem that a close friend is facing, I will tend to feel involved, or worry. But most general problems I would stay out.I might feel bad for the situation, or sad, but I will not try to take that burden into my shoulders, or let myself worry too much about it. I do have my own problems to deal with too, and even those I try not to let them get too worried:)

Friends are always there for each other no matter what. Of course, we do care a lot for our friends. So much so that we get worried when they are not in good condition. Be it emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally. It is good to sympathize for and empathize with our friends who are currently having problems or issues. However, it wouldn't be good to worry so much about their problems to the extent that we are already so much affected by their problems. I understand how much you love your friends but be sure to leave enough for yourself too. Take care!

Hi there CanadaGal You know my mom (God rest her soul) used to say to me you cannot save the world. You have to stop trying to because you will make yourself sick. This is true. Let's face it, we all have enough problems of our own, no matter how big or small. Bringing on other people's problems cannot be good for you. Just be an ear when they need it and a shoulder when they need it. Other than that, believe it or not, they will get through whatever it is. But keep in mind, you are a great friend just being there in their lives. They are very lucky. See ya friend Cheryl

Yes, I do worry a lot about my friends. Like you, these friends of mine are long time acquaintances. We've known each other since we were just 7 years old but became best friends only after college, sometime 1991. Up to now, we're still the best of friends. I have two best friends, one is already in the US, the other one is in a nearby town, while I'm am here in the city. We seldom see each other but we make it a point to communicate with each other as much as possible. We also take time to visit each other once in a while. If anyone has a problem, the other's will come to the rescue. But there are times I think my presence and encouragements are not enough. Like now, most problems we are facing is of financial nature and I really can't help them that much. It breaks my heart knowing that I'm here yet can't do anything to solve it. I worry a lot, yet my worrying leads nowhere. It makes me sad knowing what their situations are and it even bothers me in my sleep. It's a good thing we all have faith in the Lord. When our own resources cannot help each other, we turn to prayers. We have allotted a certain time so that we can pray together although we are in different places. We pray for each others petitions and intentions. I guess somehow, that eases the worrying and makes us stronger in facing the world again.

i dont worry about friends...i just ask them why r they doing that and what r they doing? some of my friends are crazy...they r adults and they know what they are doing...they r going to do it anyway if they want to do it, and not going to listen to you anyway...everyone makes their own mistakes in life and they learn the hard way...so let them be and make their own mistakes...if it really bothers you, then just pray for them...and let God do the rest...

worrying about the people we care about is pretty much status quo. if you didnt worry when someone in your life was having problems, you wouldnt care about them very much, and it sonds like this friend is someone you care about a great deal. not being able to help is frustrating and leave you feeling helpless which is even more stressful and worrisome. there are some people i am closer to, and because of that i do worry over some more than others. bein empath makes it even harder to shove off their emotions and anxiety at times as well. the best thing you can do is to tell your friend that you are worried, offer the support yer able to give, and leave it. she will either turn to you when she needs to or she wont. im sure after 30 years shes well aware of how much you care, but just hearing it sometimes is more help than you may know. good luck to you and she, hope all works out well

I worry for my friends as well. I don't just worry for my best friend but regular friends as well. the fact that you worry for your friend, demonstrate that you care for her alot. The little things that you do such as worrying is in fact helping. When she feels down or depressed about her problem, she knows that she has a friend like you, family, people who are there to support her. This feeling that she has of not being alone gives her strenght. There is always a solution to everything so I hope she will get better. I worry about my friend as well. but i can't do much because she has to change herself. All I can do is giving advices and encourage her to not give it up. As I worry about her, i also have other priorities to accomplish. Whenever, i have to study or prepare for my exams, I get all my focus on it and forget about the other things.

I always worry about my best friend that is homeless and has been harrassed by the LAPD in North Hollywood. I always let her know that I'm there for her if she needs to talk.

Yah I worry about them a lot. Sometimes I really dont have that much update with them compare when we are still at college. After we pass the board exam, we go on our separate ways. We go back to our own place. Some of them go to back to their parents. I miss them a lot.

I will feel worry when my friends meet problems, and i will try to give them some help or suggestion if I can. I think everyone will meet hard time, and at that time he/she will need help both on the mental or the physical. If you can help them at that time, a littel thing for you while a big thing for them.

my dear, it is easy to say its a waste to worry, but sometimes worry is really not in your hands, you naturaly worry when you care dearly about someone. its a part of life. i am a worrier, and worry al the time. dont ever feel worry is a waste when you worry for someone dear to you. its very natural to do so.

Yes worrying wont help. Worrying will spoil our health. But we can include the people who have troubles, in our prayers.

I do worry about my friends. I think to be a good friend you have to care about them and the things that they are going through and try to be there for them when they are having a tough time of it. But I do worry about one frined more then the others. That is because we are so close. I think that the closer you are to the person the more you want them to be happy. As far as letting go of some of there pain just remember that sometimes what a friend need is something to get their mind off their problem. Try not to focus on the situation but try to figure out how to make your friend laugh and for at least that moment they will feel a bit better and maybe a little relaxed.