Can you do too much?
By toosh21
@toosh21 (800)
Australia
April 10, 2008 8:51pm CST
I have 2 sons - 3 in July & 15 months - the oldest is very intelligent & can read a little, count very well & speaks very clearly. He can also play sports well & has been toilet trained since 20 months. We have never pushed him to do anything, he just picked things up quickly right from the start. He could have a conversation with us at 12 months & asked to wee like his dad at 16 months (which we put off until his little brother was born at 17 1/2 months). He sat up at 5 months, walked at 8 months & is now a very independent little man that loves to do things for himself. He has been called "gifted" by a few school teachers we know. My second son is almost toilet trained too - they have both done it of their own accord, I do not pressure them to toilet train - and has done number 2s in the toilet since 6 months as he would not do it in his nappy but just scream & scream until you sat him on the toilet, and he also wees in the toilet 50% of the time.
What I want to know is can I do too much with them? I have people say to me & behind my back that I must push them to learn & toilet train - which I most definately do NOT! I have read to them both since they were born & they love books with a passion - which I also do - but I never MAKE them sit down and read or learn anything, I do it when they want to. We do flash cards, go outside & play cricket, football, golf, or just play on the bikes, slide, activity gym, in the sandpit or with the animals. Am I doing too much with them? Is that why they are advanced & ahead of other kids their age? Am I doing the wrong thing?
Thanks
2 people like this
3 responses
@angelmarie1003 (88)
• United States
19 May 08
Wow be very proud! That is wonderful. You can never do too much unless they are feeling pushed. When they feel pushed to do something it makes them not want to and well makes things worse. The biggest mistake I made with my son is I got pushy. He is very behind in school but started things early as a baby. Like he was rolling at 4 mo., crwling at 6, and by 8 mo. he was waking and climbing. He would climb out of his crib at 4-5 mo. and drop to the floor and roll around. Since the crib was in my room I would wake up to him rolling into stuff.
I had to start leaving a night light on so I wouldn't step up on him LOL. He would climb every baby gate I bought I think around 7 mo. When he was 12 mo. old he climbed up and recliner and up the china cabinet I had to get to gum freaked me out when I came out of the bathroom. He was always the type to figure out stuff like how to open stuff: doors, refridgerators, locks on the cabinets, and drawers to make steps to get up on the counters or his dresser. I never took my eyes off him. Not even while he was sleeping. But when he got a little older he wasn't doing very good in school. When he was 3 yo, he did not know his colors, shapes, letters, and could not count. I tried and tried. So when he turned 5 I slcked off and let him go at his own pace. I tried to keep it fun and definately have to remind myself to have patience. He still has trouble but I think it made a world of difference in how I tried with him.
Especially with potty training. I hear of people saying all the time that if you force them to potty train when they are not ready it makes it ten times harder. But as far as them being advanced it is a good thing. Later in life you will be proud when they have the best science project and won the fair or jumped a grade because the classes he was in were too simple and he needed to be challenged. He gets a scholarship to a nice college at 15 or something. I think it is better to be ahead than behind :)
@toosh21 (800)
• Australia
19 May 08
Thankyou! I don't push them to do anything, and it just happened that our oldest is ahead in everything. The local Primary School Principal actually thought he was nearly 4 late last year - he won't be 3 until July! She actually spoke to me about him the other day and said that if we like he can start school at 3 for 1/2 a day a week - we think this might be too much as we don't want him to hate school but he needs something so I am going to get some sort of plan happening and do things like school work with him when he wants to.
@angelmarie1003 (88)
• United States
20 May 08
I would at least think about putting him in school when he turns 4. It will prepare him for kindergarden. He will get used to a new teacher, routine, other kids, sharing, and of coarse being away from mommy :-( But I see no harm in keeping him to yourself another year before school steals him for the next 12. LOL. They don't stay little long.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 May 08
toosh you are doing just exactly what you should do with
a gifted child and reading to them is wonderful.They are
advanced because they were born that way and you are just
playing on their abilities which is not at all wrong.
what is wrong is trying to make a gifted child fit into
the mold of less gifted children it does not work
and just causes problems. gifted kids need to be in gifted
kids programs where they can go at their own speed.
@naseefu (1607)
• India
14 May 08
I dont know more about children, when they sit or when they walk.But from your discussion I can see that they are ahead of the same age kids.You are very lucky to have very intelligent and good childs.
I dont think that if you and your children love to have together more and to enjoy with plays,then there is no problem with it.Thanks 
