Would you rather be ill than healthy?
April 13, 2008 9:33am CST
Do you really want to be heathy. In my clinic we do regular small group 'wisdom circles' which are about tapping into either your own inner wisdom, calling on others in the group to offer their wisdom, or looking at how a favourite hero, saint, god or loved wise would might respond to your request. At a morning session that was being held for a full day.We had a chap who was very ill, he was about 55 years old and he wanted to be well(he said), when questioned , which is done gently and more of an enquiry, he was asked what he would do if he was well. He was not sure about this, we asked him if he had thought about the possibility of wellnes, he said he felt it was not possible, he could not remember being well. When we asked him if he had any reason to be ill, he was angry and frustrated. We asked ok what would you lose if you were well, what would change. He was amazed at his own response, which was' the ladies at my clib would not fuss around me, and the neighbours would not pop in to see me and help me, I would not get benefits, I would have to get a job...... as so on. He was shocked at his reply and began to cry and laugh at the same time.He did not stay for the afternoon session, he came to me and said he had his answers and it was a better life being ill, he laughed at this accepatnce of his own denial and said' I dont think i will ever feel as ill again, I just am!' How about you, do you think you get more out of your life being ill, and if you do acknowledging that could change your life and the way you condemn your illness. Whatever you come up with know that when we see the truth of it , 'it' always feels better.
1 person likes this
13 Apr 08
No I would not want to be ill rather than well. I know I will get a lot sicker when I am older it wont help my life any so why would I want it to happen any sooner. I also see my MIL suffer daily with how ill she is and I can tell you she would give anything to be well again to be able to run and play with her grandchildren to be able to do her own shopping and not have to struggle just to have a bath. Anyone who enjoys the life of being ill on benefits can not in my opinion be really ill not the real suffering ill anyway as if they were they would want to stop their suffering
• South Africa
13 Apr 08
Interesting. But if everyone was ill, there wouldn't be anyone to look after the people who are ill. And if being ill is seen as an ok thing to be, people will not struggle as hard to get better. He may get attention but what he doesn't have is independance. There need to be enough people that are well and have jobs to keep the whole system of society running.
13 Apr 08
I know that no-one would answer yes to your question, and I think it is a very interesting way of giving someone self knowledge. It makes me wonder if there is anything I am preventing myself from doing because I lack the wisdom to see myself as I truly am. I think your clinic is going to help people towards good mental health and a more positive attitude to life.
13 Apr 08
Yes you are correct - few people would answer yes to this question, but as you have kindly pointed out , this question is not a concsious one, of course we THINK that the answer is 'NO OF COURSE I WANT TO BE WELL' when in fact if you go deeper there is a reason behind your illness. Many people believe this and equally many people do not , I have recxently had a women in beacsue she has had continual chest infections which started over Christmas and just got worse. When we discussed the time it began and what was going on for her . she talked about problems with her son over the christmas period and began to crt about how angry and hurt she was because of his actions. As we progressed she realised HERSELF that she had 'made herself ill' because she felt 'so bad'. Our work then is around how we can help her to feel good about things . Thanks for comments.