Extremely Shy Two Year Old...

@aseretdd (13730)
Philippines
April 13, 2008 10:23pm CST
My baby is almost two years old... and i noticed that she is extremely shy when she is around people that she rarely sees... and yesterday... it was such a pain... because we went to a birthday party with lots of kids and parents... She did not play with the kids... i carried her for more than two hours... and she refused to open her eyes... she only opened it when the mascot arrived... but i still carried her... and after that... she closed her eyes again... Do you or did you have the same problem with your child?... how did they overcome their shyness?... Her birthday is coming up soon... and with this attitude... i don't think we can give her a party...
4 people like this
18 responses
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
14 Apr 08
She reminds me a lot of my nephew Peyton. When he sees new people he shys away. he will walk the other way from them and then go to his momma,me or his daddy or maybe his Nanny other then that he is really shy around anyone else. Like this past Thanksgiving. We all went to my brother-n-law's sister's house. We had a time with him wanting to go to anyone but us.I hope he breaks out of this once he gets older also.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
14 Apr 08
Oh I forgot he is 2 also. He will turn 3 this August. I hope they both grow out of it also.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
14 Apr 08
Even around my best friend and her 2 kids he shys away. I am not sure what causes him to be this way. His big sister will go up to anyone and start a conversation she isn't shy at all.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
How old is Peyton?... i hope this sort of thing between your nephew and my daughter is only a part of their growing up... or else... there will never be a party for my daughter since having new faces around would only make her feel uncomfortable... thanks for the response...
@lucy02 (5016)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I see this alot in small children. I bet she outgrows it. Are you really shy? Some people say it is hereditary. I was always super shy. I outgrew some of mine but it took a long time and being around people more to do it. I still don't talk in front of a large group. It seems to run in my family though.
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5016)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Since it doesn't appear to be an inborn trait I bet she will come out of it pretty easily in time. I remember when I was in school I had this teacher that insisted he was going to bring me out of my shyness and made me speak in front of class every chance I got. I would get really nervous and mad at him at the time but by the end of the year I was giving orally book reports voluntarily. When I got out of his class though I lapsed back into my shell. It was an hereditary thing for me though. I bet the more she's around other people she will come right out of it.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Well, that is the thing... i am not at all shy... and when i asked my mother-in-law... she said that my husband is also not that shy when he was that age... so she did not get that from us... i really hope that she will overcome this shyness soon... thanks for the response...
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23251)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
I was very shy when I was kid actually. When my parents accepts visitors before in our house, I used to stay in my room for the rest of the time they're there. I don't open and I slide down to my room when people started asking me questions. But I got over it gradually. I don't have kids yet but I have nieces and nephews that are not very shy at all They stay on my parents lap when they're in our house. They dance in front of others and talk to them. I have one niece that's a little shy but she's trying to get over it sometimes because I used to tell her not to slouch or something like that because she's a lady now.
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23251)
• Philippines
17 Jun 08
And thank you for the pencil. Love it. I guess time would change your kid.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
It is very nice that you were able to come your shyness... i guess time would certainly tell if my baby will overcome hers... but for sure... her father and i will help her overcome her shyness... thanks for the response...
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
i don't have a child yet at the moment... but i have friends whose children are also shy like yours... they only want to stick to their mum and nobody else... also, they don't want to talk or look at the people... what the mums do is they bring their children more often to the public places and make them socialise with other people... over time, i see that their children are getting better and not so shy anymore...
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
That is what we are planning to do... but then... we already always go to social activities like weddings and birthdays... but it is always the same thing with my baby... this saturday... we will attend a wedding... i do hope that she will not stay with me and close her eyes the whole time... thanks for the response...
• United States
14 Apr 08
some kids just seem to be really that shy. i had a cousin who didn't even speak until the age of ten.they took her to doctors and found nothing wrong.then one day she just decided to say something.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
funny thing is once she got over the shyness? you can't stop her now.she gives speeches for the company she works for :)
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@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Talk about extreme shyness... not talking until the age of ten... not even to her parents... well that is like the weirdest case of shyness i have ever read... but i am glad that she finally decided to talk... thanks for sharing this...
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
14 Apr 08
It can be very hard when a little one is shy, I have 4 children, my eldest was fine and would be comfortable around anyone, and my youngest daughter is the same, she is now 2 and she will talk to anyone and is not bothered at all. But my 2 boys in the middle, nightmare. They would not go near anyone, stranger or family, they would stick with us like glue wherever we went. When they started school I thought it would bring them out a bit, but it was a nightmare to get them to go in they hated it and would cry as soon as I took them. One is now 7 and the other is 6, and they are both still really shy at times, it has been really hard for them at school and indeed they are only just starting to come out of their shells and they have been in school for 3 and 4 years now. They will overcome it in their own time and their own way, as long as you keep giving them encouragement and confidence it will help. I am 34 and I am still shy in certain situations, I always have been.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Having two very shy boys can be a handful... i hope they overcome their shyness very soon... since they are already quite old... and they would be missing a lot if this continues... i also wish my daughter will overcome her shyness before she starts going to school... thanks for the response...
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
14 Apr 08
My youngest was the same way. He would go off and sit all alone all the time even when at home. Unfortuantly it hasnt changed alot he was diagnosed with Autism. He is getting help now hes 7 and has a few friends at school and plays with groups but is still a bitt hesitant. Sometimes he will hide under tables and stuff.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Oh my... good thing you were able to diagnose his condition early... but my baby is quite active... and can relate very well with her cousins... she is very shy only those who she does not see very often or has seen for that first time... thanks for the response...
• India
14 Apr 08
I m sure, she ll grow out of it.As you mentioned that it takes time 4 her to trsut grown-ups and there lies the problem, she cant mix up with them. Even play groups can help. As she grows older, she ll come out of it, but if you thinkits just more than that, then you better go to a child pyschologist...all the best
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
My husband and i decided to wait a while before taking her to a child psychologist... since she is still very young... and there is still a chance that she will change that attitude... but we will also try to introduce her to other relatives one at a time... thanks for the response...
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
14 Apr 08
Hello aseretdd, My son is almost at the same age with yours. Sometimes he acts like a shy kid, hiding behind me and holding me closely. Sometimes, I do feel like he isn't shy at all. He will try to befriend other kids who are mostly older than him. He talks non-stop in his own baby language and doesn't even care whether you understand him or not. But I can sense that he always feel shy (or maybe afraid) whenever he meets a stranger especially a man.
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@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Hello gr8life... it is so nice to see you again here... i thought you will never comeback... My baby is also like that when it comes to other kids... she would even kiss and hug them... but when it comes to grown ups... she would melt away... close her eyes as if by doing that... she will become invisible... well.. the good thing is that i know she will never ever go with a stranger... thanks for the response... I hope you will be active again...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
14 Apr 08
look up "selective mute" on the internet. I am selective mute and it was always chalked up to just shyness. There is so much more to it. I was diagnosed when my daughter was diagnosed at age 8. I am not saying thats what your daughter has. If it is just "shy' she will outgrow it as she gets older. Selective mute is an anxiety disorder and there are many ways to keep it under control.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
This is the first time that i read this "selective mute"... and for sure i will research about it... thank you for sharing this... but then if it is hereditary... then my baby did not get it from us... since my husband and i do not have this sort of condition... thanks for the response... and for sharing this...
@gmwgreat (287)
• Ethiopia
14 Apr 08
hi aseretdd, actually i don have a child, but let me tell you my experiance from my little sister, she was like your child, she was very shy towards other peoples, she's four years old now, and she stopped that behaviour after she joins school, she become familiar to other peoples, i am sure your child will never continue like this, believe me after she started school you will see change on her, anyways God bless your child, happy my lotting!!
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
I so hope that my baby will overcome her shyness when she finally goes to school... but that will be in like 2 to 3 years time from now... so i would have to help her overcome it with a lot of encouragement... thanks for the response... welcome to mylot... and i hope you enjoy every minute of your stay here...
@tessah (6617)
• United States
14 Apr 08
my youngest daughter is painfully shy.. or was. she still is timid around strangers, but is a bit more outgoing now that shes older. some people are just inherantly quietspoken and shy. typically, you wouldnt be inviting people your child is unfamiliar with to her own birthday party, so i dont think itd be a problem to have a party for her. and no worries, as they grow up and are supported in their own personalities and not forced into things they arent comfortable with, they outgrow the shyness.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Glad to know that your daughter was able to overcome her shyness... my husband and i are now talking about a small birthday party for her... with her cousins... we won't be inviting a lot of people since that she might not enjoy because of her extreme shyness... thanks for the response...
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I have a son that was very shy. He didn't want to talk to kids his own age and would cower behind my legs whenever we went any where. It took him going to preschool before he started to come out of his shell. He is still quiet and you is affraid to speak up but he is getting better.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
It is good that there is a significant change in your son when you enrolled him in pre school... i hope my baby will also be like that... when it is time for her to study... i hate to stay in her school all day if she doesn't overcome her shyness... thanks for the response...
@jzchai (37)
• Malaysia
14 Apr 08
i have two kids and extremely to shy but suddenly brave to do something ells.. but its ok because they can learn slowly guide by parent
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
My baby is also brave in other endeavors... it is just this shyness thing that is getting in the way for her to enjoy playing with other kids her age... or those a little older than her... i just hope she will overcome it in the future... thanks for the response and welcome to mylot...
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
14 Apr 08
My son was shy, but it was not that bad. I found that once I brought him into situations where there were kid - the park, putting him into daycare 1/2 days 3 days a week - the he handled situations like the party you described much better.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
I wish my baby will also overcome this... she is not shy when there are only children around... but when grown ups start to look and talk to her... she just melts away... i don't know where she got that... but i sure hope whe will outgrow it... thanks for the response...
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I think the daycare idea is great, that's what I was going to suggest. Even if it's just for a few hours a week. Also if there is a playground near you could bring her there maybe set up some play dates. Just being exposed to other children and watching how they react may help her overcome her shyness...Best of luck and Brightest blessings, Mari
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
Daycare centers are not that popular in my country... well not the ones that are in the US... the one that is like a daycare only takes in kids that are 4 years and above... so i cannot put my baby there... she has a lot of playmates... it is just that she tends to get very very shy when someone new comes along... thanks for the response...
@subha12 (18441)
• India
14 Apr 08
i have no baby. but as ai baby I was shy. but as far as i can remember, not anything like her. i think she is having some problem that she does not want to mix with people. let consult a child specialist.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
I thought of taking her to a child psychologist... but then i am still hoping that this is just a phase for her... and that she will outgrow it in the future... if not... then i would have to look for a really good psychologist who can help her overcome her extreme shyness...
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
14 Apr 08
It is important not to push her- that will only make it worse. Just help her gradually become more comfortable at her own pace. As for the birthday party, maybe just have 2 or 3 children and keep it small and low key. Better to do that than have a big party where she won't have fun. Here is an article I wrote with some tips to help. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/583801/positive_ways_to_help_shy_preschoolers.html
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
That is what my husband and i are planning... a small party with only her cousins and people she is comfortable with... there is indeed a need to take things slow since she is only 2 years old... i will try to check out your article... thanks for the response....