Why do parents use children as pawns?

April 18, 2008 11:47pm CST
I see so many separated parents use their children as pawns. Things like, "if you don't do this, you won't see your kids" .... or "fine! you won't have the kids on the weekend!" ... etc. Why? What on earth have your children done to deserve this? Can't parents understand how this type of thing affects their children? Children deserve the right to have BOTH their parents in their lives. They NEED both their parents in their lives. Yes, there are some exceptions, there are parents who do unthinkable things to their own child/ren so do not deserve them. But I'm talking about when parents separate & take their anger toward each other out on the kids, using them, as I said, as pawns. It does not matter what you think of each other. You can hate each other all you want. BUT the children should ALWAYS comd first. Do NOT argue in front of them. Do NOT use them to get your own way. It's a very low, pathetic thing to do! Take a step back & think about how your actions affect your children.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@kezabelle (2985)
19 Apr 08
Yes children need both parents but sometimes its best one parent isnt there for example if they are abusive or agressive either to the children or the mother/father then they definatley dont need both parents. It has to be hard for any couple who has split up to keep things happy for the children and maybe sometimes they dont realise what they are doing or the need to hurt their ex is so strong they just dont think, it doesnt make it right obviously but it must be difficult
• Australia
19 Apr 08
As I said, there are exceptions when parents do unthinkable things. Yes, parents don't realise what they are doing. A lot of the time they are so wrapped up in their own feelings of hurt and hatred that they don't think about the kids. It's not always their fault. A breakup is very hard to get through. When my ex left I told him he could see the kids whenever he wanted to. The only stipulation I made was that the woman he left me for was not to come to my house, at least for some time, as it hurt me. He could not understand this so didn't bother seeing his kids!
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I totally agree with you. It's the parents being selfish and thinking of nothing but hurting the other person or making them mad, but they don't step back and realize it's hurting the children more than anything. I have two boys from a previous marriage and not once did i ever say, "you can't have your kids". it's ridiculous and parents that do that really need to understand that you aren't only hurting the person you intended to hurt, but your hurting your child as well. it's not fair to them nor is it their fault you can't get along with your ex. people do need to wake up and realize that once you have a child, all differences should be put aside for that child and NEVER should that child be used against each other. God bless