Do you follow your heart or your head when you fall in love?

Philippines
April 19, 2008 12:50pm CST
People fall in love in different ways. Some follow their heart and some follow their heads. It is easy for some people to fall in love and when they are in love, they tend to loose focus on what is essential and right sometimes, but it depends on the situation. Some say that you need to use your head as the head is above the heart and that is why God placed it there. Others say its the heart to use as all revolves around love. But to a more practical modern reason, some tell you to use both and balance things out. I tend to use my heart first when falling in love but after learning lessons from bad experiences, I have learned to use my head also in balance with my heart. So what do you use? Head or Heart? « Gab »
8 people like this
47 responses
@rombi001 (943)
19 Apr 08
I would go for the heart :) but if it doesn't work out it is much more painful!! LAtely I have been trying to keep things more down to earth and not to be very intemate with anyone so that I get some peace and quite... Falling in love can be a full time job!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
Hi Rombi. Yes its painful when you use your heart to fall in love with someone. For me its not love if its not full time as you are not really serious about it. « Gab »
@zed_k4 (17641)
• Singapore
10 May 08
Hello Gabs. Good discussion here. For me, I like to balance out between following the heart and the head. I think too much of one is not good and there needs to be some kind of a balance. To find the niche in the balance is important. Like if I have a girlfriend and I tend to follow my head so much and keep on working for the sake of building a good future with her, but at the same time, I'm neglecting her, then it's not wise. And if I follow my heart and be with her all the time and forsake my work, then it's not good too. So, that's what I mean. To find a niche and balance in both of these.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16076)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I can say, Head. I use to analyze and evaluate things a lot before I will decide. I was very very careful since I don't like to end up my life like some of my friends, who ruined their future. I do go out and enjoy life but I always think ahead and follow my limits! I am very lucky I found the man for me!
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
Well good for you and yes, there are people who are thinkers first and learn fast based on other's experiences and I guess thats what happened to you and why you are using more of your head than your heart. Congratulations for being in love with the man for you. « Gab »
• United States
20 Apr 08
Yea..I am just blessed to have a lot of friends who were all married. I have learned a lot from them and makes me more wise in coming up with correct decision, I have fallen in love before when I was still single which I thought I will never ever forget and I will not survive without him in my life! But, I always let my head rule since I knew he wasn't that ideal as far as relationship is concern! I am not perfect in my life but I just want also to be happy. and after knowing him that much, I found out that we just don't match for some reasons! I tried to forget my feelings, it took a while but I was able to handle it, I am glad that we are still friends this time, I am hoping though he will find her soul mate in the near future!
@rexiemay (402)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
when i fall in love, i usually follow my heart because when we fall inlove we tend to use it instaed of our heart. sometimes our emotions are stronger than what we think is right. that is why even though we would be hurt in loving someone, we still love that person because what we feel is stronger than what we think. i dont think that there is something wrong with that. loving someone with all your heart is never a crime but we must prepare for the consequences of loving too much.
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
I agree with you that in loveing someone, we must be prepared of the consequences of the things that will come our way when we use a lot of our heart. It is not wrong to fall in love and follow it better than what is right and follow our mind but we just have to be careful or take the consequences of it. « Gab »
@busta1baby (1239)
• United States
19 Apr 08
id i know when its time to leave the relationship...and mine that i am in now is so wonderful..he is so great to me...and im so glad i got him b4 another gurl got him...its so hard to explain my love for him...but id die for him...cause i love him that much
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
Its good for you that you love him so much and you have fought your love for him. I guess you are so much using your heart and so in love with him. Wish you more to stay longer. « Gab »
@Hatley (109975)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Apr 08
I think that when I fell in love , just once, it was heart first then head as I just knew he was the man I was going to marry and there was no question about it. My parent were less than thrilled that I married him only six weeks after we met but I knew he was right for me and we were married for thirty four years so I must have done something right.
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
There was no question about it that you have done it right by marrying that man and still being with him for 34 years! In most cases and for most people, marry fast is not a good decision because you don't get to know the person well and don't know if you really love that person and vise versa. You are living proof that its possible. Congrats to you for having chosen to love and think about it and be successful with it. « Gab »
@bagumbayan (2707)
• Philippines
26 Jun 08
Use both. But I like using my heart than my head. But as you said there must be balance on both.
@rmuxagirl (7572)
• United States
19 Jun 08
I tend to follow my heart when I fall in love. Many times my heart and head go together when it comes to loving someone.
• United States
18 Jun 08
"follow your heart, kid, and you'l never go wrong" sand lot.
• South Africa
13 May 08
Metaphorically, I use my heart. Literally, however, the heart is good for nothing except pumping blood. What it really comes down to is your base subconscious insticts("heart") and your conscious justification ("head"). I don't think the head has much say in the matter because even if it is obvious that something is a bad idea, curiosity often wins in the end. Also, I think that attraction in general is not something conscious.
• Canada
9 May 08
When I fall in love my heart and my head work together. When I met my husband my head told me that we could be friends, my heart told me we could be more than friends. My head and my heart working together, made sure that we were a good match, and we are.
@busta1 (1029)
• United States
30 Apr 08
yes i do...well when me and my girl im with nowi new i loved her from the first time we ever talked...and its working wonders still..we are madly in love 9 months later
@jenni7202 (1599)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I'd have to say that I use both my heart and my head. I fell in love with my boyfriend quite quickly, and before I even started dating him! We were friends for awhile before he actually asked me out, but I was falling for him before hand, and he for me as well. I've never had any problems that can't be solved with him. We have been together for over 5 years, and will soon be 6 years in this coming July.
@suspenseful (40331)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
I follow my heart, and then my head. I go first by looks, then I wait until he starts speaking and if my heart goes a flutter, and he has a good job, has a nice personality, then all my practical looker upper will start to work. I am the fall in love type rather than the become friends first, get to know each other, and then I am in love. More of the incurable romantic with a good sense of detecting danger.
@winterose (39927)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
I follow my head first now that I am older but my heart has to agree or then we are just friends, but I am out of that stage at my age, I am 53 divorced with a 31 year old son and I have a boyfriend now for over 8 years.
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
in my case,,, my heart controls my mind,,, that's why i end up crying,,, coz i only follow wat my heart is saying...
• Nigeria
20 Apr 08
I use and follow my heart when is love
• United States
20 Apr 08
I ended up using my heart this time...it was literally a kick in the heart the first time I laid eyes on my guy...and nearly 4 years to get together! My head tells me so many things are wrong with the situation, but my heart keeps telling me it's right, so I'm going to go on with my heart, since that's what makes me happy!
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
definitely head, i think of all the pros and cons if i go ahead and tell that person what i feel.
@worldwise1 (14893)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I have a very poor track record when it comes to matters of the heart, gabrielle. As much as I hate to admit it, I have always let my heart overrule my head when it comes to falling in love. I have wished that I could be more sensible about these matters, but I think we are just the way we are. It makes for some tough times along the way, but there have also been many happy times that I wouldn't trade anything for.