how do you get out of love.....

India
May 2, 2008 3:32pm CST
can anyone help me here? what do you do when the man you love very much just does not love you anymore. at any moment in time he reminds you of it, treats you like you mean nothing to him at all. what do you do? how do you handle it? please help.
12 responses
@rexiemay (402)
• Philippines
3 May 08
hi. if you feel that the man you love doesnt love you anymore, then let him go. maybe you were not meant for one another. why would you still hurt yourself by allowing him to treat you that? dont ever let a person do that to you. love your self so that others will love you. just se him free. it will be painful but in due time you will be healed and even find the one really meant for you. someone who would love you unconditionally.
• India
5 May 08
thanks dear, the word unconditionallly is so far away from where i am right now.
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
5 May 08
hello, sorry to hear about your situation. i have not been on such situation though i have let go of the person i love before. anyway, my sister-in-law is undergoing the same situation as yours. though my own brother is my blood i dont really want her to suffer from his crap. here are some of the words i told her. 1. i know it is hard to move on specially knowing the person dont love you BUT will you let yourself suffer that long knowing it will always be that way over and over again. will you accept the fact that he dont care about your feelings and just treat you like crap all the time. it may not happen now BUT you will still find someone who will love you the way you love him in the future and even though it is not gonna happen at least you prove to yourself that you still respect yourself and not let it die in such a way of sadness. 2. we only live once, if you chose to be sad forever then that is your choice but what if there is a happiness at the end of the road and you never get to see it coz you decide not to, you let go of the chance and it will not happen again coz you pick to be sad and remain in the relationship you know from the very beginning is bound to end and is not really yours. 3. if he cant love you, at least love yourself and respect it the best way you know how. i know it is hard but how can you expect someone love you when you, yourself, dont know how. no one will love you till you know how to love yourself and remaining in such relationship only shows that you dont love yourself as you prefer to let it suffer over and over again. 4. if there is someone worthy of your love he will surely come... 5. true love cannot be found where it doesnt truly exist nor cannot be hidden where it really does. 6. would you rather see yourself crying every day or smiling? ask this questions many times in front of the mirror, it is hard to let the thoughts sulk in but once it did you will see the wisdom of such a simple question. 7. we cannot change someone nor we can make someone love us, it is only done by the person himself and not YOU, you can only hope but sometimes HOPE is not enough specially if you have given so much already and nothing is happening, such thing only shows it will NEVER gonna happen till you do something about it. 8. happiness only comes in to those who are willing to be happy, same goes with sadness. if you want to keep and nurture it it will remain with you FOREVER or as long as you want them to. 9. often times, if your partner (husband/boyfriend) knows you will always accept and forgive them no matter what, they will always take advantage of you coz you mold them to be this way - part of who they are is the the way you make them to be and the only way to make it right is to do something about it and prove to him that you can live a happy life even without him (that's where the self respect and love comes in - it will only happen if you TRULY BELIEVE and want it to really happen) 10. if the person reminds you of pain then get out to that place. think of it this way. you have a wound and you know poking it will hurt you more and more till you STOP poking it then you will be free of the pain and you know any wound will LWAYS HEAL if you know how to manage it well. i wish you all the best, i know what you are right now is not easy and you always have that hope that he will love you some how but is it worth waiting? what if it never happens? remember if he wants to be with you even if you let him go he will come back to you and hopefully at that time he will realized your worth BUT once you let go dont let the HOPE lingers just move on. you can only find a real love when you let it find you. takecare and sorry i dont have the right words for you nor the magic wand to make it right, i wish i do coz i will be using it to both of my precious love ones but i can only be there to support them and let them see themselves in a different way than the way they see their own reflections.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
5 May 08
its really tough job to do. its easy to fall in love. but when the person that you love so much, behave so badly with you, its really hard to get out of it. more you try to forget, more you end up rememberinmg.
@Tetchie (2933)
• Australia
4 May 08
What do you do? You ask yourself "Do I love myself as much as I love him?" You look outside yourself for what you need. Is he a mirror to show you that you are nothing without him? That is perhaps what you think of yourself, that you are nothing. This is not true and perhaps when you start becoming the amazing person you are, then it will be you that no longer wants him. Take care monishavakil.
@bdugas (3581)
• United States
3 May 08
I guess it would depend on how much you think there is a chance of him loving you again and it a phase he is going through, or how long you want to live with the abuse he dishes out letting you know that he does not care about you anymore. Life does go on and sometimes it is better to just let it go and be in peace, yes it hurts and it is hard. But you deserve better and you can't make a person love you if that is what they have decided. I would ask him maybe try some counseling first and if he says no,then if he is living with you ask him to move. You did not say if you are married to this person, or just dating or if he lives with you. There is others out there and you can find someone else and I know that you don't want anyone else at the moment and the future with out him looks bleak, but girl there is a whole world out there and it is just waiting on you. Don't let any man run you down and or mistreat you, believe me you are better off without him. Believe me there will come a day when he figure out what he lost. Some times we have to lose to win.
@NCgirl (488)
• Philippines
3 May 08
Is it you that's on this kind of situation? I feel sorry then. I see, whoever that guy is, he is so mean. The best way to handle it is to get out of the relationship, it's very unhealthy to stay in it. Why stay in the relationship if your partner does not love you anymore?and not only that, he does mean things to push you away. He could say it straight to your face and be honest about the whole situation, he doesn't have to be mean or something. Get out of the relationship, and divert your attention and love to something else. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Love yourself more, and forget that man. I know it's hard at first, I've been there and I know how it feels. It will hurt but sooner or later, it will heal up. Just have an open mind, that there are better things that are coming your way, and we don't have to wait for it, it'll just come along. Goodluck girl :)
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
3 May 08
Punch him at his face, bite his shoulder too deep then shout out your heart and say " If you dont love me, then I dont Love you tooooooo..." Kidding!! hey i know Im not funny. just want to bring you a bit of smile.Well, this kind of situation happens in a certain relationship, for both parties there will come a time that you dont love the person at all where you loved him at first. First, ask him for an explanation, you will be most hurt when in the end you find out that you are not worth an explanation at all.Second, if that is he truly feels, then accept it wholeheartedly, cry if you want it will make you feel less burden. Third, let yourself alone, feel the hurt but do not let it linger for so long because of it you will be more understanding and ready to face your life again.Lastly, love yourself and be happy, life is too short to spend some of your time to be gloomy. Hope this will help you.
• India
3 May 08
There is no way out from love untill you find some one else , whome you do realy love .... so just wait and see the time , which is crossing through your life . That will give you the better solution than us . thanks !!!
• United States
3 May 08
I divorced him. My last husband was something like that. He wasn't real mean to me but he just stopped acting like he cared. So, I left him. It takes two to make a relationship work and if both aren't working at it to make things work, then it should be over.
• United States
3 May 08
only you can justify love and how much are you willing to put up with to love or be loved. there is no easy answer or a right answer until you take the chance to make it or not
• Philippines
3 May 08
Get out. There's no use staying with somebody you don't trust anymore with your feelings. It won't be easy I know, but it's the only way to give yourself dignity again.
@palonghorn (5486)
• United States
2 May 08
Is it just through his actions, or is he actually telling you that he doesn't love you? If it is just actions alone, maybe you should sit down and have a talk, no tv, no phone, just you and him. It could be as simple as a misunderstanding. If he has actually told you this, more times than not, and his actions back him up, then maybe it's time to start thinking about leaving. It could get worse the longer you stay. I know that it is a hard thing to deal with, but the sooner you do deal with it the better off you will be.