its easy to make new friends but why its always hard to make it longer?

Indonesia
May 4, 2008 7:48am CST
to meet new person and make him as our friend, its not difficult to do. even you can make this relationship from the stranger that you meet in your life. but its not easy as we thought to make friendship becomes long lasting relationship. just be honest, i can't keep my friendship lasting longer with my friends from elementary school, junior high school even from senior high school i just loose any contact with most of them even i already tried to contact them regularly. so based on your experience, do you think its hard to make friendshiop long lasting? how do you manage your friendship so it can be long lasting friendship?
3 people like this
17 responses
• Malaysia
4 May 08
Yes, you're right. It's hard to keep friendship longer. I'm 26 years old now but I still have no true best friend. I have one the best but still not satisfied me as the best friend of my life. I don't know how to manage long lasting friendship because it has to deal with what I like and what my friend like. It has to be in win-win situation all the time or today I win, tommorow will be yours or vice versa. But I have not found anyone who willing to sacrifice for me even I have done to them. They thought that I was easily to be being bullied. I'm not letting myself being bullied but they misunderstood that I sacrifice for them because I wanted to help them and to become their best friend. Until this moment, I am still didn't know how to manage long lasting best friend but I hope I'll found out how someday.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
4 May 08
as like you that i still figure out about how to make each friendship getting long lasting friendship relation. its really hard to do although its also not impossible, am i right? would you just share with me if you already figure it out early than me?
2 people like this
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
4 May 08
because we all have different personalities. sometimes it last sometimes we see things that are not so right. so we tend to have personality clash with our mates.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
4 May 08
yeah, it makes sense dear. different personality which always change by pass of time can make our friends have little clash with us
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
4 May 08
I moved awaay and lost all contact with any one I went to school with and they in turn have also moved or name changes like getting married . The ones I have now I try to call every once in awhile to keep up with what they a re doing but they are spread all over the world! For alot I have met on the net!
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16193)
4 May 08
These days it is hard to make friends and even harder to make ones that last, since being at school I have lost contact with every friend that I ever made. I wish I had not now because they were the best friends that I ever had. I have lived where I am for 16 years now and I have never ever made any decent friends. So my experience is that it is hard to make decent friends never mind long lasting friends.
2 people like this
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
4 May 08
in my opinion, making it last isn't something you should think of. to begin with, you should know who your REAL friends are. those friends who will be there through thick and thin. friends who share the mutual effort to communicate and keep in touch. friends who will tell you that black is black, and white is white. those who will be objective in advising you since you're happiness and sanity is their concern. friends who want the best for you. a friendship, just like any other relationship takes time. you can't rush it. or push for it. it happens and grows over time with an amount of effort to make it grow. also, make sure that the one you would like to last this friendship with is the one that really makes you feel just being you and not being somebody else. just my two cents.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
5 May 08
i think so dear. it seems by pass of time, there is kind of friends selection which will make us know which one is true friend for us, am i right? and yes, i definetely agree with your point of view in here
• Philippines
5 May 08
It is indeed easy to make new friends. However, keeping the friendship last depends on all the parties involved. I am glad that my friends from way back elementary, high school and college are still my friends. Communication is a very important factor in keeping your relationship with other people last. Of course, there are other things to consider like love, trust and understanding.
1 person likes this
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
5 May 08
Because as for me, only few who are sincere...true! It easy to make friends but to find a real friend is not that easy as what you think...Those who stay are the one who treasured you and loves you as who you are. Only 1 out of 10 is real and sincere. You may consider yourself as their sincere friend but it's useless to grow your friendship if the other party don't even appreciates you.
1 person likes this
• India
4 May 08
i think its hard to find a true frnd and only true frndship lats long.all the ppl v meet and make frnds with are not necessarily true frnds or even gr8 frnds most of them are just "happy timers" .they dont last long and eventually u loose them or forget them .but a true frnd is there even when u dont meet up much or even contact each other for long but u remember him/her the memories of 2 of u keep the frndship alive longtime.
1 person likes this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
4 May 08
I have had one BFF for over 30 years... there have been times when we haven't seen each other for years, but we always find each other again. People do change, but we can always find common ground... keep in touch with them as much as you can. The internet is fantastic for that... get email addresses and drop them a note once in a while!
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
5 May 08
I think it is difficult to make alot of long lasting frienships but i don't think it is difficult to make some long lasting friendships. The main reason I think that it is hard to make many friendships that last along time is that people change and they get busy in their own life and then they have their own family. When you are at school, your friends do not have their own family so they have alot more time on their hands. Also alot of people that you knew in school move to new places and you lose contace. I am lucky and grateful as I have quite a few long lasting frienships that are very special to me. My longest lasting friendship is with my friend Jenny we went to highschoool together and we still see each other and have close frienship, we are now 29 years old, been friends for 14 years. My best friend Joyce, we have been friends for 10 years now, we talk everyday on the phone, she lives two hours away from me now, but we make effort every fortnight to see each other. I think our friendship has lasted a long time as we have alot in common, we talk regularly, we have alot of fun together, we stick by each other through thick and thin and we are good listeners and communicators with each other. I have a couple of other friends too who I have been friends with for about 8 years. So overall I think it is not easy to make alot of long lasting frienships. But it is possible to form a few close long lasting friendsips with friends, but it takes effort from both people to keep that frienship going.
• Indonesia
5 May 08
hm, you give quit good point of view dear friend and i agree with your opinion in here. i know they have their life in there which perhaps as not t hey expected before so that they are too bussy with that or their life as like their expected and they also busy with that no matter how, still i supposed them as my friends and never supossed them as ex-friends no matter how bad they were with me
@nengs10 (3189)
• Philippines
8 May 08
Friendship is a kind of relationship. It may not as big and heavy as sweethearts, yet it still entails a lot of working to do. Like any other relationships, open and constant communication is highly recommended. It really helps a lot in maintaining such a tight bond between among people.
@julyteen (13261)
• Davao, Philippines
8 May 08
yes it is but if you make some schedule to communicate with them even once a week will it works. i have friend in high school until now we still be friend. we meet once a year for our reunion and 3 times a year for outing. next week one of our friend will come home from other country, she called me to gather our friends for a special getting together. i made things so that we can communicate even we are far apart. we are planning to put up a business, a corporation so that we can see and meet each other, they elected me us the president of the corporation because i am the one who initiate the program. thanks for the post.
@aswinbio (174)
• India
5 May 08
i love people and love making friends. i don feel it is hard to maintain it for a longer period. we should understand each other to make the friendship stronger.
@subha12 (18454)
• India
5 May 08
i think friendship is not so easy thing. we may assume that it needs no effort, but actually it does. may be we lose friends as we can't keep contact or whatever for various reasons.also may be the other person cheated and took advantage. so amny complex things make it difficult.
@whiteheron (4223)
• United States
5 May 08
In my youth, I was confused about how to do this... I must say that I also did not keep high school or college friends... I just failed to maintain the friendships... I did not call people on the phone or go out of my way to communicate with them. I did not relax enough with them to share my vulnerablities and weaknesses with them. I was nice but not as real as I could have been because I did not talk much about myself and did not ask them enough about themselves either. We also did not spend enough quality time together. I did not really know how to be a good friend. It was my friends who I made in my 30s that taught me how to be a good friend and that are now with me in my 40s. They are loyal and kind and I love them and show it. I am hoping that you will make more friends and retain them... I know that it is possible to learn how to do.
@drannhh (15044)
• United States
4 May 08
I don't know, because I live more in present time and don't really care. One childhood friend, however, looked me up after we had lost track of each other, and the friendship resumed just like it was yesterday, with nothing inbetween. However she recently lost her husband and remarried as has sort of disappeared again. If we reconnect I will certainly tell her about myLot as she would really like this place I think, and then it would easier to keep up with her comings and goings.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
4 May 08
My belief is even though I lost contact with an old friend, our frienship is still there. I do believe when we see each other we are still friend. The problem is on the distant. Even though you can contact each other regularly, the physical contact is still very important. You can talk but if you can't see or touch each other what is the point. It's better to focus your frienship with someone near.