In Law Rant
May 10, 2008 9:57am CST
I've never really gotten along well with my in laws. I've always thought my father in law was a bit rude and my mother in law is the typical type that thinks I'm doing everything wrong, and if things don't go her way, she pouts. But, regardless of what was going on, they always USED TO be there for us. We've never been very well off financially, and we got into things like parenthood before we were ready. His parents helped us out a lot. They got us a car when my husband lost his job and both our cars were repoed. They bought us a house when we were evicted. Now my husband has a good job and was recently promoted. We are starting to do better for ourselves. We can afford our bills now and are finally starting to take care of ourselves. Little over a year ago, the car my in laws bought for us was totalled by a drunk driver. FIL got $2,000 in insurance money, but instead of buying us another car with that money, he gave us MIL's car, she had broken her back and could no longer drive. Since then we've been paying the insurance, registration, and fixing any repairs the car needs. It is a small car and we are a large family, so we need another vehicle. Well, we just got our stimulus check, and purchased a van with it. Now I have my own vehicle and don't need to drive my husband to work when I have doctor appointments for the kids, or when I need to run errands. We've been sharing a single vehicle for 5 years, and I am so happy we no longer have to do that. Ok, here's where the rant starts. When FIL heard of us buying the van, he didn't ask or suggest, he DEMANDED we give MIL's car back. His reasoning? Because I shouldn't have a second car when he only has 1 car. Truth be told, he does have 2 cars. He has a van that he purchased after our 4th child was born, knowing full well we were in desperate need of a van. He doesn't let us borrow it, so when we needed to go somewhere, we'd have to find a sitter for one of our children because we couldn't fit in our car. We now have 5 children and would need to leave 2 with a sitter to go anywhere. He also has another car sitting in his driveway. It needs a gas tank, but other than that it's in fine working condition. He can't afford to fix it. When we needed a 2nd car we asked repeatedly if we could have this car and pay for the repairs. He refused to give it to us, but it's doing nothing but sitting in his driveway. Even before we purchased this van we offered again to pay for the repairs so that we may drive it until we can purchase a van, at which point we'd give the car back. Now, as far as MIL's car goes, we had every intention of keeping it. My husband does not want to drive a van to and from work, that would be too costly with gas prices. MIL does not want her car back, she has offered to put it in our names. FIL has no need for a 2nd vehicle, as neither of them work, they only go to doctor appointments and run their errands, and they do most everything together. If he were to take the car back it would only sit in the driveway with his other car, never being used. Hubby and I each have our own theory here. Hubby thinks his parents are jealous that we are starting to do better for ourselves, and we are actually more financially stable than they are. My theory is they're upset because they no longer have anything to hold over our heads. It used to be when they did something like give us a car, they had complete control over us. Now that we are taking care of ourselves, they can't control us. I'm just so irritated with them, and don't understand why they aren't taking our kids into consideration here. They aren't just helping us, they're helping their grandchildren too. We still have no intention of giving the car back. Hubby is going to have MIL put the car in his name. We can't afford to get another car just yet, but within the next year we plan to. We were planning on giving this car back at that point, but now we will probably just use it as a trade in, or sell it.
10 May 08
oh gee, i wonder why some in-laws are like that. and it goes both ways, parents and children. they treat each other like enemies even before the married life is started and it continues to be that way. i am just so thankful to God that i have tolerant and considerate in laws. i live with them but i can pretty much live with them, and i have good brother and sister in law too. sigh, how i wish that every one can have a family in law lie that. even my mom was victimized by my dads parents. God bless us all!! and oh HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
• United States
10 May 08
Thank you, and to you. I'm happy to hear you have decent in laws. My mother was the best in law you could imagine. She kept to herself, never judged us, waited to be invited over but allowed us to walk into her house whenever we felt like it. For holidays, she didn't insist we go see her, and she'd give us X amount of money to spend on her credit card that she gave me to use in emergencies (which i only ever used when she gave me an amount to spend on it). Unfortunatly she passed a bit over a year ago. It's true what they say, only the good die young. I think his parents will live forever.
• United States
13 May 08
As I understand it, your in-laws just need your attention. They are just insecure maybe because they thought you will no longer give them importance now that you and your hubby can already stand without them. Maybe you also forget to spend time with them, have a little hug or some sweet smiles to let them know how thankful you are for their assistance when you are in need. Most old people really need attention and appreciation. That's all they wanted. Your care and love is more important to them and this will make a difference. I'm just glad I have a wonderful parents-inlaw. They are really great!!!
10 May 08
hey,friend!this is the first time i come and response your post.the first time too,i read so long eglish aticle on web...lol,you know,i am a chinese student. i know something difficult about your family,life and the car.i think you are right.you are living independently,so they couldn`t interfere with your life. yah,everything goes well,good night,my friend!