Do I move the Orang Utang and keep the crocodile
By p1kef1sh
@p1kef1sh (45681)
May 12, 2008 5:21am CST
I have two lawns, one small and one large. I last cut the large one exactly a week ago, the went away for a few days. In the meantime the blooming thing has grown out of all control and I have just been out mowing it. Now it looks like a jungle out there. The chimpanzees have moved in, a large and ornery Orang Utang is sitting in the strawberry patch and there is a crocodile that has been seduced by the water in an old bucket. The parakeets are driving me wild and if I see just one more snake I'll go even more potty that I already am! I have thought about driving them all out. But last time I did that, my neighbour complained about wildebeest in her garden and an elephant got into her kitchen and snaffled all the biscuits. That reminds me I'd better mend the fence too. Any thoughts out there? Should I move the wildlife or open Britain Zoo - the zoo Steve Irwin would have opened if he'd have been a Brit.
3 people like this
12 responses
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 May 08
Fix the fence and open a zoo. And for goodness sake get the croc out of the bucket and build him a proper pond. The elephants will come there to drink and your neighbour won't have anything more to complain about.
Really P1ke - how hard was that to figure out? ROFL
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 May 08
Oh dear! Will they at least let you move the orangutang to your new digs and keep the croc for company? LOL
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
12 May 08
I was sunstruck when I posted the discussion Sparky. I needed help, and help is what I have received. The nice man in the white coat is here for me now. [Shall I take another tablet. Both my arms in the straightjacket. My legs too? Watch where you put that needle........]
3 people like this
@agfarm (930)
• United States
13 May 08
The Elephant never comes Back unless you have the Biscuits in your pocket.....you have to lead them Back. The wildebeast well......he doesn't come back unless the Elephant is already Back.
And the Croc........I'm not even going there!
It's pretty tricky running a Zoo.......p1key is going to need all o' the help he can get.
The one that gets me is the parakeets.....does anyone know how to retrieve the
Da*& Parakeets ? These little guys scare me!!!!!! You never know if they're happy , or Mad at you! They still bite your Finger regardless!!!!!
Hey p1key.....I'll handle the Elephant and the Wildebeast( s) If you can find a professional to get those Da*& Parakeets!
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
12 May 08
Sounds like you have enough for a Zoo, if it wre me, I would go for the zoo.. Have a good day, Mate
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
12 May 08
You have to keep the crocodile, it keeps the cats off the garden. Bring the orang utan into the house and let the others live naturally.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
12 May 08
You don't need to mow the lawn, the llama and goats will see to that.
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
12 May 08
I don't think I have had enough coffee yet cause I do not have a clue what you are going on about Pikey. The sun addling your brain? Have you had a nip of gin already? LMAO :))
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
12 May 08
rotflmao :))) Well how 'bout you leave the mowing alone a bit, sit down here and have a tall glass of iced tea, wait for the hallucinations to subside.
I read that twice and still had to ask what the heck? rotflmao
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
13 May 08
LMAO!!
Live in peace and harmony with the animals?
I would hate it if I was a man who had to cut the lawn. It's nice that it's so healthy and grows like that. I bet it's beautiful when it's trimmed up nice.
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
13 May 08
LOL...then your doing a great service for the environment. Saving the world, one fish at a time.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 May 08
Just mow the lawn and deal with the wildlife later. I have a yard rather than a garden with no grass but because I live on a steep embankment when it rains if it was grass it would just be a mud bath anyway so perhaps I could take in the odd hippo for you if it all gets too much. Ellie :D
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
12 May 08
Mine is on a slope too. Easy to mow down, but not so good back up. Could you take a hippo? that is so kind of you Ellie. I'll point him in the direction of your house. He'll hitch, although I don't want him going on the A303. He'll have to come the scenic route through Blandford and Dorchester.
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 May 08
No don't want him ending up thinking one of the stones at Stonehenge is another hippo, centuries of standing and one nudge and it could all be over, Dorchester route it is then. I hope he has a fairly slow journey as I will not be here to welcome until at least 11pm tonight, so get him to take a lot of rest breaks on route. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@agfarm (930)
• United States
13 May 08
Dearest p1key......I think part of the problem might be......There's a rumor going around that there was some kind of Ferocious-Beast that used to run around the Neighborhood.....Untill last week. It is rumored that this Beast Killed , or Bludgeoned (I'm not sure which ) everything in it's path.
I've also heard that this Beast no longer exists , as it has recently met a horriffic-Demise. Perhaps that is why Nature has returned to your Beautiful lawn-scape?????? The Animals no longer Fear for their lives , and now....they just want to come out and play. Or....it could be that......your lawn just needs a Trim
(who knows ??? )
At any rate.....I'm sure you've got a handle on it , But in Case you do not.....I was recently given a Beautiful Lawn-tractor for Mother's Day , so I could Beautify my Lawn ( or Jungle which ever it is ) If you Need Help....Let Me know.....I'll be right over!
1 person likes this
@NVMapper (115)
• United States
12 May 08
I have found that springtime causes the grass to grow doubly fast. I allow it to grow until it waves in the wind, then cut it, water it and wait for the next growth spurt. After about three cuttings the grass learns that it only needs to stay green, not long and stops growing. If I were you I would repair that fence posthaste, those elephant droppings can only act as fertilizer when you have topsoil to mix in it.
@NVMapper (115)
• United States
12 May 08
Rather than doing the slitting yourself, get a Vietnamese Deer, they have tiny sharp feet. Oh and by the way, that elephant sounds like a handful perhaps if you could teach her to hold a shovel she could stir her own compost all year long, then you could package it and sell it to people who need natural fertilizer? I would move the Croc.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
12 May 08
Thats very good advice. I was about to go and cut lots of little slits in the lawn to allow the moisture to get deep down. The fence will be repaired, but I shall have to bring the elephant back in. She's very awkward though and not at all modest. Always blowing her own trumpet about how useful she is in the Fall at getting apples down from the top branches.
1 person likes this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
12 May 08
If you opt to go with the zoo I will come and swim with the sting rays for a nominal fee 
I did that last summer and lived to tell about it.
But as long as the croc doesn't try to eat the chimps and they don't throw poo at your guests who arrive for afternoon tea in the garden then let them stay a while longer.
You may have to purchase your strawberries though because orangutans don't like to be bothered while they are in strawberry patches. I think I learned that on the Discovery Channel.
I did that last summer and lived to tell about it.
But as long as the croc doesn't try to eat the chimps and they don't throw poo at your guests who arrive for afternoon tea in the garden then let them stay a while longer.
You may have to purchase your strawberries though because orangutans don't like to be bothered while they are in strawberry patches. I think I learned that on the Discovery Channel.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 May 08
oh pikefish definitely the Britain zoo unless you
have a grass eating animal who could mow yourlawns
for you.Dont think the croc or the orang utang
would help in mowing however. ah shucks youwill
just have to keep on mowing it your self but be
careful of all the snakes. oh yes and mend the
fence since you do not want the waffle eating
elephant back in your lawns. I myself have a
little grasspatch maybe three feet wide and eight feet long that now has every known and unknown weed in Ca growing wildly
Its around my front door concrete patio. Iam so glad
its fenced in as I would not want the neighbors
to think I was not nice and neat.
1 person likes this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
14 May 08
Well, then I think a zoo it should be. Just add a few of my pretty black and white sheep, some goats and a Llama or 2 and you'll be set.
The sheep will give you slipper making material and rugs for beside your chair. The goats will give you your milk to go with your biscuits, and the Llamas will spit at the people you don't like. They will also keep the Orangutangs in line, too.
