Does age matter???

@nelly5 (1425)
United States
May 14, 2008 1:49pm CST
I have a friend who is 32 years old and is "seeing" a man who is 24 years old. Some comments have been made by a few individuals stating that they think he is too young for her, personally I believe they make a great couple and he is a mature 24 year old, I believe the 18 months he did with the marines in Iraq may have something to do with his maturity level. My mother is married to a wonderful man who is 14 years older than her. They have a great relationship and I love him so very much. He has been a great father over the years. We have never given his age any thought. To me, I don't believe age matters. If two people are in love and they are grown adults, I believe age is just a number. What do you believe about age and relationships?
19 people like this
68 responses
• United States
14 May 08
My boyfriend was convinced by a 38 year old women to runaway from home, was he was 17, to live with her, and she exploited the crap out of him. What do I think about huge age differences in relationships? Not much.
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
I don't understand exactly what you are saying here. How was it that she "exploited the crap out of him" (your words)? Thanks, have a great day.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 08
For starters she filed his tax returns, and he let her because he trusted her. She filed them wrong, on propose, so that she could get $10,000 back for herself, and then called the irs on him. Nice huh? And that's just the tip of the iceburg.
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
Oh wow, that is not cool. Was he able to do anything about what she has done? Has she been charged with anything criminal??
1 person likes this
@dangnabit67 (2021)
• United States
14 May 08
Well considering most guys over the ripe age of 40 decline sexually, she gets to enjoy it more-LOL Good for her Sorry if that is rude-just a personal observation with my own life. If you love them and have a good relationship, age shouldnt matter.
2 people like this
• United States
14 May 08
Also if he treats her good-dont let him get away. Good guys are hard to find nowdays. Good luck to them both.
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
Yes, I agree, if he is good to her, (which he is), then she shouldn't let him go. Oh and about declining sexually...well good that she got a younger man..lol Thanks for the response, have a fantastic day!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 08
The age difference between myself and my fiance is even greater than the difference between your friend and her significant other... and yes, my fiance (male) is the younger one in our relationship. When we first started dating, I wasn't sure how long it would last, but now I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. He has just the right combination of maturity and playfulness that works well with my outlook on life, so we're perfectly matched for each other. Age is just a number. :)
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
29 May 08
Good for you, congrats!! I wish you both the best! Have a great day and thanks for your response.
@toosh21 (800)
• Australia
15 May 08
I don't think age matters at all, if 2 people "fit" they "fit" and age is nothing!
2 people like this
• Denmark
15 May 08
I agree with you on that.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 08
Every time I see a discussion about an older woman and a younger man, I have to laugh. I've said before, my boyfriend is 8 years younger than me and we never think about the age difference. It's funny that age is so important to some people. By the way, I'm 34 and he's 26, so, no, age doesn't matter!
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
Well good for you, I don't think age matters either (when it comes to two grown adults) but obviously some people do, so that is why they make some rude comments, but oh well, it isn't thier life so they should not be so concerned about it. Thanks for the response, have a wonderful day!
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
14 May 08
no, i dont think age matters because like you said, age is just a number - maturity, however, is a whole different thing though! but age is and always will be just a number because it just depends on how you are feeling. (even though i am only 46, somedays i feel like i am 110!!!) lol
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
I agree with that, a 40 year old may feel younger and have more energy than a 25 year old. So age shouldn't make much of a difference, if any. Have a fantastic day!
1 person likes this
@sisterjinx (1136)
• United States
14 May 08
I think that in most cases age is just a number. It is the maturity that matters. My mother's love of her life was my step-father and he was 18 years older than her. They did not get together until she was about 39 and the age difference was not really noticable. Though his family did have a difficult time accepting her they finally did and my mother and he were very happy together. However there are instances where age does play a role. I know a 17 year old who is dating a 54 year old. As far as I am concerned the 17 year old is not of the age of consent even though the state they live in says they are. The 54 year old is taking advantage of this child's youth in my opinion. So though I believe that in most cases age is just a number, there are cases in which it should be a factor.
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
I agree with you about the 17 year old and the 54 year old. I don't believe that is right, at all! So I guess I have to change my statement, instead of saying, age doesn't matter, It does make a difference in certain situations such as the one you described. I also agree with you, I believe that the 54 year old is taking advantage of the 17 year old, that isn't cool. Thanks for the response, have a wonderful day!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 08
In some situations I do believe age does matter. If two people have a significant difference in age and they are at two opposite places in their lives it might not work out. In the situation with your friend I don't believe that age matters, simply because his maturity level as you said. If they get along well and there isn't that much difference in maturity level ( especially since he's only 24 )than age shouldn't matter at all.
2 people like this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
I understand what you are saying about the age making a difference if people are at two opposite places in their life, but then again, if that is the case, then I guess their relationship wouldn't work out anyhow, regardless of age. Thanks for the response, have a fantastic day!
1 person likes this
@kel1483 (986)
• United States
14 May 08
I don't think that the age thing is a big deal. In the situation you give, there is only an 8 year difference. That isn't THAT much. My stepdad is 14 years older than my mom. They have been together since I was two years old (I am now 25, so 23 years), so maybe that's why I don't see that as a big deal. I believe as long as both parties are over 18, who cares? You fall in love with who you fall in love with, why can't there be an age gap? I wonder if people are just making comments about it because it's the WOMAN who is older. I think people see an older woman with a younger man as a bit more taboo, still. Again, I don't think that matters, but I know some people who do.
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
14 May 08
I totally agree with you, I do believe that if the man were the older one, then there wouldn't be any comments made about the age. I think people do look at it in a different light when the woman is the older of the two. Thanks for your response, have a great day.
1 person likes this
@kblakley (248)
• United States
15 May 08
I have seen it work both ways, where age did matter and where it didn't matter. I think personality and maturity level plays a huge part in whether it matters. My hubby's best friend is 23 and his girlfriend is 29, they make a great couple. A lot of it has to do with the fact that he is very mature for his age. At age 20 he got a really good job (he's an IT geek as I call it, no offense to anyone) the job caused him to become responsible while he's other friends from school were still partying. Another reason him and my hubby became such good friends, my hubby is 34. When he got that job he was seeing a girl that was his age, however she wasn't ready to grow up yet, still partying so he felt he had to move on and he found that most the girls his age were not what he was looking for. He now owns his own home and is doing really well. I feel he needed an older woman to fulfill his needs as a companion if you know what I mean. But I have also seen where age did make a difference because the younger person just wasn't mature enough. But in essence it's not that age it's the personality, experience and maturity level that matters most.
2 people like this
@mommy_uv3 (109)
• United States
14 May 08
I don't think age really plays a part anymore, because so many people are mature for thair age. i mean if you have a 15 yr old and 26 yr old together, then that is something to look in to, but once you hit 18 hey it's your life.If she is happy then thats all that should matter.
@xlinzixx (511)
14 May 08
i dont think age matters as an ex of mine there was a huge age gap between us i was 20 and he was 38 and all though the relationship ended the age gap never bothered us because we knew we liked each other and nothing else mattered.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
16 May 08
I do believe age matters in relationships, especially if the man is much younger than the woman. Much as I can accept a younger man dating an older woman, 8 years to me is a rather big gap unless the man have been through a lot and is matured enough. It is just that woman the same age as man seem to be more matured than the man both physically and emotionally.
1 person likes this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
29 May 08
Well I believe that what helped him to mature sooner than some men his age is that he did 18 months on the front lines in Iraq. Thanks for your response, have a great day!
@pclife (246)
• Malaysia
15 May 08
Age deos matter sometimes and may be not in different aspects. Why i say that is that, it depends on how we look into every relation that we build... If one thinking that beauty is a factor of everything, so here age is matter , younger couple more likely to be more attracting for such person... But, it different if we build and view relationship based on other aspect such as knwledege, maturity , wealth and etc.. thus, now the question of age doesnt matter anymore... In the overall ,for me, we should realize that age should be taken into big consideration as it could be a vital factor of happy relationship.. I have seen before at my place... a truly loving couple of an old man around 90 yesr old got married to young girl of 25 year old...Totally hude age diffrent .. No force marriage... And the most important thing is that they are happy... Learn form them... age is not everthing in love there are more factors that we should know exactly for seeking the true love....:D - http://offto.net/cbproads_true_love/
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
15 May 08
I agree with you, it is true love that matters, even though we each do have our own preferences..I couldn't imagine being married to a 90 year old man at my age now (32)..but each to their own. Thanks for your response. Have a wonderful day!
1 person likes this
@anonymili (3138)
15 May 08
I think your friend should be happy with her "toy boy" - he isn't really a boy though! If he was 19 and she was 27, I might suggest that he was not mature enough at that age for her but like you say, he served with the marines and jobs like that do have a way of making boys into men, not always in a good way. It all depends on the age if my 16 year old cousin was dating a 26 year old man I would not be happy about it but if she was 26 and he was 36 I would feel fine about it, at the end of the day, I couldn't do anything about it as that's the best way to cause rifts in family and friends - by telling them who they should or should not date : ) Good luck to your friend, may she and her fella always be happy. And how lovely to hear about your mother and step-father too! Just goes to show that people can love and treat their partner's children like their own, sometimes better than their natural mother or father would treat them. x
1 person likes this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
15 May 08
Yes, my step-father stepped up to the plate and was a much better father than my biological father...he was my daddy. Thanks for the response.
@olga89 (6)
• United States
15 May 08
Sure it does....10 years no,but 15 or more sure it does.....Let say you are 50 and your husband 15 years oldar than you,he will be 65,who wante to sit with grandpa? Im sure that age matter!!!!
1 person likes this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
29 May 08
My mother is 54 years old and my step-father is 69 years old. I tell you what, no one can believe it when I tell them the age of my step-father. He is very active in life. He still works for two different villages, in charge of zoning. He has his own car/boat lot for sales. He plays basketball with his son and grandkids. He is always on the go and I would put him up against many many 50 years in a physical activity and bet that he would at least hold his own or even beat the 50 year old. So I don't think that this age difference...well in fact, I know that this age difference doesn't matter at all. Yes, he is a grandpa of 17 children, great grandpa of 4...but, so is my 54 year old mother. thanks for your response. Have a great day.
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
14 May 08
This is a good discussion, nelly5. Hello to you. If I were to be in that guy's situation you mentioned, seriously I wouldn't mind dating a 32 year old. In fact, I find older women more to my liking and I think they are more wiser and more independent. I like that kind of spirit in a woman and I could see myself living with her and marrying with that kind of person someday. However, I don't mind if I get a younger woman or someone around my age. It would be cool too. I've dated young women before, and also women that is twice my age. And the way I analyze it, the experiences I had truly varied. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
15 May 08
I agree with you, I also believe that older women (and men) are wiser (living life experiences) and certainly more independent. I don't feel old but I do know that at my age (32) I am certainly very independent. My husband knows that I am an independent woman and knows that I can fend for myself and would do it again if I had to...unlike when I was in my early 20's, I certainly was not very independent....maybe way to dependent. Thanks for the response. Have a great day!
• Canada
14 May 08
I am twenty-six years old and my husband is sixty-two years old. My sister thinks that's too much of an age diference, but my mother feels that as long as we are happy, that is all that matters. We are very happy, and we have a wonderful life together. Age does not matter.
1 person likes this
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
15 May 08
Wow, each to thier own and if you are both happy, then it shouldn't matter. Thanks for the response. Have a great day!
@Hatley (164672)
• Garden Grove, California
14 May 08
7or 8 years is not all that bad. my hubby was seven years older than I was and it made no mever mind as far as either of us were concerned. we had a lot of the same likes and dislikes and suited each other to a t. We were married thirtyfour years.
@nelly5 (1425)
• United States
15 May 08
Wow!! 34 years, yeah for you both!! That is awesome!! Thanks for the response!
• United States
21 May 08
My husband and I tease out friend scarywhitegirl for violating the "10 year rule" with her guy, but they've been together for two years now and seem happy, so who cares? My hubby and I are 7 years apart and I am older. I think most people probably just give your friend a hard time because they are jealous of her young man.
1 person likes this