How do you tell someone...

United States
May 19, 2008 5:16pm CST
I love all my friends so dearly. And I am always the person they come to for help and advice. This is fine. I don't mind. But how do you tell someone they are seriously over-reacting to something or that they are acting childish without hurting their feelings? I mean not just a little bit over-reacting. That is ok. Everyone does that once in a while. I mean billboard over-reacting. Taking it way too far and bringing it up over and over for weeks on end. How do I do this without hurting my friend or hurting the friendship?
2 people like this
10 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
19 May 08
Honesty is always the best policy. Just tell them in a gentle way that you feel they're over reacting, and perhaps they should let it go, or at the very least you don't want to discuss the matter anymore. If they are a true friend they will understand and the friendship will not be hurt. However if you say nothing and they keep nattering on about this, you may eventually grow tired and not want to talk to them anymore. I made that mistake with a friend of mine. No matter what was going on in her life, all she could do was complain about everything and anything. I grew tired of her complaints, so just stopped talking to her instead of asking her to stop complaining.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
19 May 08
It is best to make someone know that you do not like something. Sometimes they over-react because they think that is what you want especially when they do it and you laugh.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
If they are over reacting by a long shot then I really dont know what to tell you. Other than sit them down and explain to them that they should let the past go. If they are mad or upset about a friend or family member remind them they should forgive and forget. It is never good for anybody to hold something against someone. Try something like that. If that does not work then full out tell them that they are over reacting. Tell them you are sorry if you hurt their feelings, but get over it and move on. Nothing in life is worth all the gripping.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 May 08
I think you just need to be very straight-forward with this person. They may have some hurt feelings at first, no matter how sugary you try to make it, but if they really value your friendship then they will get over it and thank you for your honesty. Sometimes you really just need someone to plant it in your mind that you are being ridiculous to see how crazy you are being. You could be doing them a huge favour by telling them that.
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
20 May 08
were not talking about me right lol?
• United States
20 May 08
no you goof. Guilty conscience? lol
• Philippines
21 May 08
sometimes hurt can add spice in your relationship with your friend. if its really important to tell her about her childish behaviour then you should, bearing you have her best interest at heart. Along the way, I know she'll come to terms with it and will thank you for being true to her.
@obidan (368)
• Romania
20 May 08
I'm always Seinfeld style, in anything I do, and probably in anything I say: ,,You know, this topic doesn't interest me that much'' or ,, It's fine if you think that way, but other people think something else and you should respect that'' or ,, Yeah, so?'' Those aren't direct quotes, but most of the time my friends understand, and just don't talk with me about the topic anymore, and talk about something else...they just keep me informed like : ,, I talked to TOm and he said that I was right, but George didn't think that that is fair''
@greenline (14864)
• Canada
20 May 08
Yes, I have met people like that. It certainly gets annoying some times. Then again, some are sincere, trying to find a way to relieve themselves from all the disappointments and suffering they have been going through. And, some may have different objectives ! So, it becomes necessary to check what the motives are. Based on that, I had to respond , making sure it would not hurt any one, them or me !
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
20 May 08
I think you should tell her you think she is overreacting to the situation. I wouldn't use the word childish. People feel the way they feel but it might help her to know that maybe whoever hurt her might not have meant to.
@minnie_98214 (10573)
• United States
20 May 08
Well theres really no easy way to do this. But if its a strong friendship it will survive as your friend will realize you meant well.