How Do You Know It's For Real?

United States
May 21, 2008 3:37am CST
I was married twice and in a relationship for 3 years and looking back I am not sure that I was ever really in love with any of them. How do you know that you are really in love? How can you be sure that the one you have chosen is the one you want to be with the rest of your life and not just someone to be with for a while until someone else comes along? Is there some way that you know or do you just KNOW?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@aowaow (1516)
• Indonesia
22 May 08
There will be no fixed price in a relationship. Because all things have the bad and good side. No matter you find the edge of the world, you'll never find the person who is a 'chosen' one. "Better"-one suits for the argument. A piece of advice: Maybe you will need to stop comparing your ex with the next one. It's bad. Comparison means giving value equally on both subject. Once it's the turn to value on this person's weaknesses, that will give a chance to conflict, because we compare from the best criteria in our ex. Forgot your past, and think that your new partner will be the-one-and-the-last. No matter how good or bad, it will always be your choice. Making several failed relationship will scare your emotional away. Lately, you'll stop totally. But on the contrary, we realize about relationship's dilemma, just patiently to face it. Because anything including love does has its own phase of wax-and-wane condition. One of the sample is like in the work, sometimes we love to do the job, but sometimes it's the boring time. But you still do for the work, right? Life is expecting us to accept both side for making a relationship. Because if we only want the sweet side, then who wants the bitter phase. This relationship will be most likely failed. Because each of them harvest the fruit, but none was watering the tree. Lately the tree (relationship) will be dry, no more fruit, the relationship will start to fall. Lastly, actually no matter how many relationship we have, it doesn't always mean it will give us the better result. Even if it's, but newer problem, where it never appeared in our past relationship, will arrive. New love means new personality, new field of emotional adaption, and new treatment to the relationship. From happy to fetch for the unhappy, from unhappy to solve for the happiness. Both are natural and always attached in our life. Preserve always your relationship.
2 people like this
• United States
23 May 08
Thank you very much for your comments. I try to never compare anyone I am with because that is not fair and I do agree that each has to be a fresh start. Unfortunately, each ended! But it does make it difficult to be open and trusting with the next person who comes along.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
6 Jun 08
When I fell in love with my husband I knew it. I had never felt that way before. It was the first time in my life that I felt protective over someone. I wanted to protect his heart, and everything about him. I wanted to be all things to him and though I had hurt a lot of other guys before him, I knew I could never do that to him. I also felt safe and loved and return. Nobody ever made me feal so secure and loved. I suppose it is different for everyone, but that is how I knew. We have been together almost 23 years.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 08
WOW! That is great and what I wish I had found from the get-go. My brother and his wife are like that and have been together over 30 years with 3 sons. They have been through a bunch of stuff together and yet still can act like newlyweds. I have always wished that it would happen to me one day..........sigh.....Thanks for the response.
• Canada
2 Jun 08
I knew that my husband and I were meant to be, because when the sh!t hit the fan, we were there for eachother. We did all the "for better or worse" stuff BEFORE the wedding, and we survived. He's also as crazy as I am. Go ahead and look him up. His mylot user name is vladilyich
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 08
Thank you for the response. I've heard that you are both a little crazy. Or maybe just crazy.......without the little in it!! Thanks, friend!! Glad you 2 are so happy. I am still jealous..........but happy for you too.
@gtdonna (1738)
13 Jun 08
In my opinion, I would say, I know that it is truly love if a person wants to wake up in the morning to the other face, their smile brings a smile to your face. You are motivated to do your best when you think about them and what they bring into your life. There is a feeling deep inside that only that person gives you when you hear their voice, when they caress you, when someoen else say their name...everyone has a different experience however. Love is a feeling you feel that you've neevr felt before!
• United States
9 Jul 08
I like this answer. I think that when it happens someone must just know it but I thought I knew it before. When the relationship ends, though I am not so sure that that is what is was!! Maybe that is just falling in and then out of love??
• India
21 May 08
i think you have the answer to the same question you asked.when one is in love you know how it is different from the other relationships you have had in your life earlier.you know it's love when all you care in the world is to be with that person and to see him happy.his success spells success for you and his happiness is happiness for you.it is the look and the feeling in your tummy that makes you realize that it is love and it is for real.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 May 08
Thank you for the response. I thought I had that 2 different times but it turned out not to be. Does the love go away or does the infatuation with each other just fade and not be what you thought it was?
1 person likes this
• Denmark
21 May 08
hey I know I love him Iám whit I can not be away from him several days and I never go anywhere without him so I can say Iám i love whit him after 7 years and my love for him is still grows
1 person likes this
• United States
23 May 08
That is terrific..........that is about how long each of my marriages lasted. The family teased that I had "the seven year itch", which had nothing to do with either of my divorces. I hope that it continues to grow for you and you are happy forever!!
1 person likes this