Do you mind unexpected guests

Canada
May 24, 2008 6:39pm CST
You have plans for a weekend and then suddenly a friend or family member shows up on your doorstep with a bag in hand and asks if you would mind putting them up. What would you do? I personally prefer a phone call and warning if someone is coming by for a visit (short or long stay). I like to be prepared and ready and I can't be if they show up. How about you? Do you mind if someone comes without warning? Maybe you are one of those who does this. If so, why no warning?
7 people like this
34 responses
• United States
25 May 08
As long as I like the person I really don't mind them dropping by. Of course, I'm rather OCD about cleaning so that is never a problem...of course as long as it's not in the middle of the night and wakes me up... ;) I try to have my home ready for anything since I live with a bunch of people... there are always people coming in and out of the house.
1 person likes this
@Adelida2233 (1008)
• United States
25 May 08
I would never personally show up on someone's doorstep expecting to be entertained, especially with no phone call. I usually make plans to stay somewhere before I leave the house. If it's an emergency, I would definitely call first to make sure it works with whatever they have going on. That being said, we have a lot of friends that are last minute guests, but they still call and ask before showing up at the door. I don't really mind unexpected guests, anyone who knows us knows our schedule is crazy, so they would be on their own anyway. I am usually prepared for a couple people to stop by for dinner on any given night, because that happens fairly frequently. My boyfriend is a cop, and since they have weird hours, anyone on his shift will stop by for a meal(most of them are single guys) before or after work. I have it set up in individual portions in Tupperware, so all they have to do it throw it in the microwave. Most of the time one or both of us is here, but sometimes we are not. The people who we trust in our home have keys, and they will stop by whenever, however most still call to let us know either way. I actually like this arrangement. I don't have kids, and I work from home, so it breaks up the day a little bit if people stop by. If we aren't here, they do our dishes, and sometimes will clean for me, so it works out.
@metschica25 (5409)
• United States
25 May 08
It depends on my mood . I dont mind my brother coming over . Friends sometimes I just want some me time or have plans.
1 person likes this
@sun2day (1063)
• Virgin Islands (U.S.)
25 May 08
I dont appreciate anyone doing that to me,especially if I have plans for a week end. I would ask if I can bring them along depends on where am going. If it is personal, then I would let them know that I have aready made plans for the week end and since I am unable to host them they have the option to stay at my home and entertain themselves. But I would advise then that the next time I would prefer for them to contact me first before coming to see if I have anything planned.
@suz1000 (160)
25 May 08
It truly does depend on the person doesnt it. But I hate unexpected visitors, its not that i wouldnt be pleased to see them, just that a warning doesnt go amiss, wha if your busy or ill?? Just expect a bit of courtesy thats all and good luck to anyone who turned u on my doorstep expecting to stay the weekend!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 08
I really dislike when folks show up without warning. My house is really informal, but I like to do special things when I have visitors. I usually try to bake something up and have extra beverages/snacks on hand that are not usually in my house because we are all watching what we eat. I also hate change so anything that disrupts my routine without notice irritates me. I never just drop in on folks so I appreciate those who show me the same respect. As for someone showing up on my doorstep with a bag, there would have to be a really good reason or I would kindly explain that I have plans and they are SOL. If there was a really good reason I would have no problem changing my plans to accommodate them.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, I agree with you... If someone comes over I have to have things together, such as food and other things that makes my home full of welcome.. Dropping by without calling, makes it very hard for me to make a person feel welcome.. It is like they are intruding..
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4457)
• United States
24 May 08
I perfer a phone call and if i don't get one and have plans they just have to entertain themselves just because they were rude dosen't mean i'm going to be the same with whoever i have plans with.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
24 May 08
Yes, I like this question that cathy wrote. I am having a problem with my in-law's coming over without calling. When they do this.. It is disrespectful, and I dislike it very much.. I am like you, I refuse to change my plans since you have been too rude to announce that you wanted to come over... My sil will always call before she comes over... I like her for this..
• Ireland
14 Jul 08
i do mind but they can turn out to be quite fun so give them a while and if they do turn sour kick em' out but generally there nice!
@Hatley (159686)
• Garden Grove, California
25 May 08
Yes I do as I like to be warned because in our case' we only have two bedrooms in our apt. and they are both occupied. so my vistor would have to be put up in a motel or hotel so I would need some warning from them first so I could tell them what they would have to do if they wanted to visit us..
• United States
25 May 08
well personally if the person is in need and has no where else to go then i consider that an emergancy and i would rather them just show up and would welcome it. of course i tend to be a very generous person too. but when i do have company i tend to plan it out first so i know whats going on. so it really depends on the situation. is the person just showing up because they have no place to go or are they just showing up to take advantage? even if they were taking advantage i may take them in with restrictions until they can find some other accomidations. i donno...maybe my heart is too big in that respect.
• China
25 May 08
ln my opinion ,l think it is better for the guests to make a call to the host he or she will visit in advance .this is not only the show of your implitity but also the show of your respect for the host .In that case ,the host will have enough time to make the plan of the left time and make some necessary preparation ,you also will avoid the chance of being rejected.
• India
25 May 08
Well, I would be upset if someone plans to spend the weekend at my house without warning me in advance because for one thing, I would be totally unprepared for their visit, and for the other, I will have to change whatever plans I might have made. I wouldn't drive away the unexpected guests though. I would take good care of them; at the same time, I would wish they wouldn't repeat it. I prefer at least a phone call... I would be shocked if people unexpectedly land on my doorstep when my house looks as it has been struck by a quake... Cheers and happy mylotting!
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
25 May 08
I have never had to change plans due to unexpected guests so I cannot really comment on that. I would let whoever it is stay. Seriously if they are coming to my house to get away or whatever then they have to be in a tough spot since everyone I know has "outs" to go to. I also would like someone to call and ask or at least warn me that they are coming but that isn't always possible. I have never had to change plans due to unexpected guests so I can not really comment on that.
@eagle_f15 (2054)
• Malaysia
25 May 08
I am definitely not one of those who does this by popping up at friends place without prior notice and neither do my husband and I like guest, family members or relatives popping up at our doorstep without prior notice. Would be good to call and inform and checkout first. yeah we would like to be prepared or ready. but at the moment we can't even have one person to stay over at our place cos the spare room has no light so we have used the spare room as a store room
@aigege (45)
• China
25 May 08
that's a good question! i think no one like the unexpeccted guests if they have any plan. if you have to do your own business as planed,your friend will be disappointed,and you will feel sorry for them.if you spoil your plan,you may feel something of disturbed,even a little angry with your friend. no matter which one we will pay a visit to,inform him/her ahead of time.
@biggerb (2030)
• India
25 May 08
I would surely expect my guests to ring me up and inform me before they come.It is very inconvenient when people drop in without any information.I have faced this situation many times and I have been mad about it.I would never do this to someone else.
@alienstar (5138)
• India
25 May 08
Guests are always unexpecetd and if we are doing anything to ourselves which we feel should not be shared with others, then we all do feel insecure or some sort of uncomfortableness on receiving guests who are unexpected or otherwise it is compeletly alright here
@jen4kids (32)
25 May 08
All of our friends know that we fully expect a phone call before they "drop in". We moved back to my fiance's hometown last August, and his friends were dropping by all the time without warning. Finally my fiance just laid it out to them and said that we fully expect a phone call before anyone "drops by". Since then, we've actually had a couple of his friends pull up and park in front of our house, then call from a cell phone and say "Hey I'm out front are you guys busy?" Both times I answered the phone, I said "yes, call later" I love having guests, but I get extremely annoyed with unexpected visitors.
• Malaysia
25 May 08
i dont really like have unexpected guests but i guess sometimes it's unavoidable. i prefer to be told in advanced when someone's coming so that i can prepare too. i usually will call first if i want to visit someone, to see if they're free or not and if it's okay if i were to drop by, rather than just go without telling them first.
@landi927 (657)
• China
25 May 08
I do mind! I prefer to have my house clean when there will be some guests. So if my friends show up without a call or warning, i don't know how to deal with those guys. Let them in? My house is messy. Don't let them in? It seems i am so unpolited. Now all my friends know my rule. Before they come to my house, or they are in the corner of my house, they make a phone call to me first. And i would call and have a warning to my friends before if i am going to visit them.