a friend who always complaining

Indonesia
May 26, 2008 10:32am CST
i just wonder what would you gonna do if you have friend who likes to complaining about anything that she/he meets in her/his life. complaining about useless thing in our opinion but it seems really big matter to this friend? are you just listening all of her/his complaining about? or just make your self seem busy so it seems there is no chance to catch up you a while? or just walk away? yes, i trully wanna hear from you about this matter, my dear friends and thanks in advance for your opinion which drop in here. wish you all the best!
4 people like this
17 responses
@drannhh (14676)
• United States
27 May 08
Life is too short to waste on friends like that. No, I do not listen to complainers. Everyone can get down in the dumps sometimes, but a mature person does not continually whine. If you think about it, that is really selfish behavior. If they cannot see that for themselves and correct their own behavior there is nothing I could say to them that would make a difference, except "Good bye!"
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
26 May 08
I you are a true friend you will stay and listen and help if you can
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
26 May 08
If someone is complaining all the time, they most likely have issues with depression. One symptom of depression is low self-esteem. She may be attempting to raise her self-esteem, or at least esteem in your eyes, by giving you the impression that she has opinions on everything But if all of these opinions are negative, that's a sure sign of depression. If she is a good, true friend of yours, I'd talk to her about being depressed. She might surprise you by admitting she is depressed. Then the two of you could talk about her seeing a doctor or counselor about it. Who knows? I'm not an expert and I may be completely off the track. But my ex was like that and he DID see a counselor who diagnosed him with depression. Only his depression came out in the form of anger. He complained about everything, but always in an angry manner. (One reason he is my 'ex'. He didn't go to counseling long enough for it to help.) I hope this helps you.
@checapricorn (16076)
• United States
26 May 08
One of my closest friend is like that and I always contradict to what she is talking, we always have a healthy argument and the discussions will help us in a way to learn things and at the same time, I will let her realize that there is something to appreciate in life. I can't just listen to her nor I don't want to walk away. but, if someone who is not close to me is acting that way, I will find myself listening and just nodding to her even if I don't like it!
1 person likes this
@cheenlly (3485)
• Philippines
27 May 08
In my opinion that kind of friend is actually in need of help. Someone who will make him/her realized about something. Avoiding her/him is not a help at all coz it will worsen his/her atittude. She/he might have problems that she keep and wanted to tell but having hard time and also if a person always complain that means that he/she is not happy about something. So try to talk to her/him and understand there must be something that triggers him/her to be like that. I know it is annoying but if you change her/his outlook in life then you did something good for yourself and for others.
• Indonesia
27 May 08
you are right that this kind person will be definetely some help. but its not easy to avoiding this person if you always meet her/him in your working field, then what you gonna do next? and i am not sure that i am able to change her/his outlook in life cause mostly when we shared, it seems that she/he defense on the reason that she/he has
@missbdoll (1168)
• Australia
27 May 08
I know someone just like this, that does nothing but complain about everything.Even when she's been out to dinner all you hear is what was wrong.Luckily she's only a freind of a freind of mine, so I can usualy avoid her.
• Indonesia
27 May 08
thats really good if you able to avoid her but due to some work and circumstances, i have difficulties to avoid her most of time and honestly its really make feel uncomfortable
@julyteen (13256)
• Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
11 Jun 08
i have long tolerance about people's attitude. so at first, i will listen, the second time he'll do it, i will still listen and every time i do, i will always advice him to see the brighter side of the things. there is always a two sides of a coin and if the other side won't give him the sight he wants to see, he could always turn on the other side. i guess it's about the person's out view of life that sends him into complaining something he doesn't want, instead of doing something to change things for the better.
• Indonesia
1 Jun 08
well, some people tend to complain all the time. sometimes when I can't stand it, I would just make no comment and only nod for a yes or just give the person a shrug. after all, I still try to be polite, since I think sometimes I might act the same but didn't realize it. and probably the person just felt the need to vent off, sometimes there are kinds of people who cannot hold themselves for 'small' matters. wish you all the best too! :)
@rmuxagirl (7572)
• United States
27 May 08
I actually do have a friend who complains all the time. That's all she ever does is complain about how her life is. There have been times when I just listened, other times I told her to just suck it u p and move on.
@kaleegirl45 (1480)
• United States
27 May 08
If i had a friend like her, I tell her to stop her complaining. There are people worst off than her. Or tell her you don't want to hear it. If it's good news ok, but if she going to complain she better talk to someone to will listen. Life's too short to be complaining about anything and eveything. Or you can ask her, why do you complain so much?
@ellie333 (21030)
27 May 08
If every time you see them they are complaining about something it will eventually drag you down too and you sound like quite a positive person. I know people who are like this but I only have one close friend who is and have told her she needs to help help to sort it otherwise people will start avoiding her, she is a lovely person with a good heart but unhappy and the route cause needs to be dealt with. I will listen but once it starts being repeated over and over I will cut the call somehow but I will try to do it by saying something really positive and something for her to ponder over. Ellie :D
• India
27 May 08
I can nderstand that because I also had one like this.Try to get away from him.At last he will understand his problem or make him aware about this problem
@subha12 (18473)
• India
27 May 08
i have a friend like this. it seems she is never happy with hervsituation. be it work, be it everyday life. she is nagging and always compalining. i still give her a patient ear. I think soon she will understand it.
@dodoguy (1299)
• Australia
27 May 08
Hi plumwish07, Your question is a difficult one. Thoughts are things, and we attract the reality which corresponds to our dominant thinking habits. A person who complains about everything is projecting a negative world view which they will attract and immerse themselves in. And you are at risk of being dragged into that same negative space if you allow its poisonous atmosphere to envelope you. So were I you, I'd be inclined to avoid the person that you are speaking of, or at least to disregard their negativity - ignore it completely. Meet every negative thought with a flood of positives to counter them and keep them off your back. You can offer your friend your companionship and assistance, and try to help lighten their attitude, but if the problem is serious, it would be better to refer them to a professional counselor rather than try to weather their storm by yourself.
@callarse1 (4809)
• United States
27 May 08
Yes I have a few friends that do, and some family members. The only reason I am friends with them is because they are very sweet person. They just have that one flaw that they complain about a lot of stuff. Otherwise, if I didn't see anything good about them they wouldn't be my friend. And my aunt, well the only reason I'm around her is because she is my family...she complains way too much just about anything and everything. So basically I just ignore most of them when they complain because I think it's stupid. Have a nice day. Pablo
• United States
27 May 08
I guess we all have friends like this. Mine has gotten some what better since she got engaged but she went like 6 years without dating and it was just constant complaining about not finding a man. Every time we went out she complained no guys were hitting on her or no one thought she was attractive. I would hear about it all night. It got to the point where I really didn't even want to go out with her. And then when I got married it just got worse. She complained even more since I had someone and she didn't. But like I said, she is engaged now and I guess she is much happier, but now she complains a lot about her job. It will NEVER end!!!
• Canada
27 May 08
I don't have time for friends who always complain, nor am I the type of friend who always complains. I won't be the type of friend that I wouldn't want to have. My friends all know me well enough, as I know them, that none of us are going to listen to any crap from the other.